


Dangerous Liaisons.

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 18:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 66,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Delenn sends Marcus on a mission; Marcus is to seduce Neroon to acquire information the Rangers need. The plan backfires and Marcus returns to Babylon 5 carrying even more guilt. When Delenn needs a volunteer for a dangerous mission with no return, Marcus volunteers again...





	1. Chapter 1

Dangerous liaisons.

 

Seated in Delenn's quarters, Marcus waited for Ranger One to join him. Although Delenn had requested his presence at short notice a few times before, this felt different. Her voice had carried an edgy tone and even Lennier, who had stood behind her when she had contacted him via the Babcom, had seemed nervous. Something was up. Delenn was worried and he was here to fix that situation. If only he knew what had happened to upset her!

 

The old habit of opening and closing his pike snuck up on him and he barely controlled the urge to uncover his pike. Stephen and several other crewmembers hated his little nervous tick, which he sometimes displayed so he tried not to give into the urge when other people were present. His hand closed over the pike, remembering all the times when it had saved his life.

 

As a Ranger, he depended on more unconventional weapons. Carrying a PPG gun would attract too much attention and the Minbari hated alien weaponry, hence the pike training. But I loved the training. I loved staying at the Ranger facility and fighting with the pike suits me just fine.

 

He had carried a PPG at one time, when he had worked for Earthforce Intelligence but he would rather forget about that episode. After the Earth-Minbari war had ended, he had quickly left Earthforce.

 

Lovingly, his fingers caressed the metal cylinder. He had met his master in Down Below when he had foolishly challenged Neroon to Denn'Sha. Looking at it in retrospect, he wondered what possessed him to defy the Minbari warrior. Neroon belonged to the elite, the best the Warrior Caste had to offer and he had challenged Neroon to the death.

 

I still don't understand why he let me live. He bragged that he had killed fifty thousand humans during the war, so why didn't he add one more? Why let me live? Yes, Neroon had visited him in the med lab after their fight and they had even shared a joke, but the Minbari had never really explained why he had let him live.

 

Even if he had a revelation, wouldn't he have been mad at me for putting him in that position? Denn'Sha is to the death! Being alive after Denn'Sha left him hanging in Limbo. Rationally, he knew he shouldn't be alive and yet he was. Seldom had he felt this confused.

 

It was a good thing that Delenn frequently needed his assistance; it stopped him from brooding all the time. I wonder why she needs my help now. As always, he felt honored to help her.

 

"Marcus, I regret to have kept you waiting." Delenn moved over to the couch and sat down.

 

Marcus cursed privately. Bloody hell, he hadn't heard her enter the room! Quickly, he got to his feet and bowed his head respectfully. "Entil'Zha." Straightening his shoulders, he found that Lennier was carrying a tray over to the coffee table, ready to serve the ceremonial tea. "You wanted to see me?"

 

Delenn nodded her head and smiled. "Yes, and I am glad you joined me this quickly." She accepted the tea Lennier handed her and waited for Marcus to sip his before continuing this conversation.

 

Marcus recognized the look she was giving him; it usually meant trouble. He knew better than to pressure her into telling what was going on, and continued to sip his tea. He gave Lennier a polite nod and noticed that the young Minbari disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him and Delenn alone.

 

Delenn moistened her lips, realizing she had to handle this delicately. She needed Marcus' cooperation, but wasn't going to give everything away. She would only tell Marcus what he needed to know. "What do you know about the collaboration between the Warrior Caste and the Rangers?"

 

Marcus arched an eyebrow, never expecting this topic. "It's a fragile alliance. Several clans are against the collaboration. Especially the Wind Swords are opposed to the alliance."

 

Delenn put her empty cup down and leaned back into the comfort of the couch, taking in Marcus' appearance. She hoped this plan wasn't going to backfire, but she was willing to take that risk. Marcus would gain so much if things worked out. "Do you know which caste greatly supports the collaboration?

 

Marcus considered the question. "I don't know for sure... The Star Riders perhaps? They are the most moderate-minded Minbari warriors."

 

Impressed, Delenn smiled. "You are right. The Star Riders support the alliance, but we need someone close to them. I need a liaison on Minbar who can handle their temper."

 

Marcus finally realized her intentions, but didn't reveal his new insight yet. "A very wise decision."

 

"I want you to go to Minbar and strengthen this alliance." Delenn tried to radiate calm and confidence, wondering how Marcus would react to the rest of the assignment. "I arranged for you to stay at Neroon's stronghold at Tuzanor."

 

"Neroon?" Marcus failed to hide his surprise, but it made sense. Neroon was a very important clansman within the Star Riders' clan. "Neroon's supporting us?"

 

Delenn inclined her head. "Not yet... not completely. You will have to win him over and make sure he will support the alliance. He still wavers and his support would immensely strengthen the alliance."

 

"Why me?" Marcus put down his cup and looked questioningly at Delenn. "Wouldn't a Minbari Ranger be much better suited for this job?" The prospect of meeting Neroon again made him uncomfortable. There was still unfinished business between them.

 

"You and Neroon have a history together, Marcus. He let you live after you challenged him to Denn'Sha... which was a very brave, but foolish move, Marcus. You knew you could not win!" She still hadn't forgiven him for putting himself in danger like that. Marcus could have chosen other ways to stop Neroon, but she decided against addressing this matter now.

 

"I still think you're making a mistake, Delenn." Marcus suddenly realized what he had said. It wasn't his place to contradict Ranger One! "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it's just..." Delenn raised her hand and he grew quiet.

 

Delenn's tone was distant and formal as she continued. "I want you to bond with Neroon."

 

"What?" Marcus' eyes grew big. Just what the hell was Delenn up to? He hadn't seen this one coming! "Bond with him?"

 

"Neroon prefers men," Delenn said, calmly. "Your training prepared you for a situation like this. You will bond with him. Make sure he trusts you, then he will entrust information to you, information, which we desperately need because there's a traitor among the Warrior Caste. This traitor is already responsible for several deaths of our men and Minbari warriors. Neroon is very influential and can find out the traitor's identity. This is important, Marcus."

 

Marcus understood her reasoning and was more than willing to help find that traitor, but... "Bond with him?" How did she expect him to pull that one off? Only then something she had said, hit him. "He prefers men?"

 

"Yes." Delenn allowed a sly grin to break through. "I think that he is attracted to you."

 

Marcus was glad he was sitting down; his knees would surely have given out on him at this point. "Attracted?"

 

"He let you live. Neroon does not do anything without a good reason. We have to use this to our advantage. Seduce him!"

 

"Se..." Marcus' voice trailed off. I can't believe she said that! She can't expect me to seduce Neroon! Yes, his training had included several ways of using seduction to gain necessary information, but he had never had to use them in order to acquire the data he had needed!

 

"Yes, use that attraction to your advantage. Once he feels connected to you, he will keep you close; keep you updated. A bond between lovers is strong, Marcus." The shock on Marcus' face almost amused her, but at the same time, she realized that the shock was very real. That shock also surprised her. She had seen the expression in Neroon's eyes when the warrior had said goodbye to Marcus in the med lab... and she had been certain she had seen a similar spark in Marcus' eyes.

 

"Marcus, you are the only Ranger who can get close to Neroon. He is very evasive and he even refuses to talk to my personal contact on Minbar. I need you to do this for me... for the Rangers!" Delenn dismissed any second doubts she was having; this was the right thing to do!

 

Marcus had managed to compose himself again. Inwardly, he felt shocked, but he got to his feet and bowed. "We live and die for the One." He would carry out Delenn's orders, no matter what the cost. His life didn't matter; it belonged to the Rangers.

 

Delenn rose from the couch and rested her hand on Marcus' arm. "We need Neroon's support. Reliable sources assured me that Shakiri has chosen Neroon as his successor. Once Neroon is caste leader, he can rewrite history and unite the Rangers and Warriors. We need him and I need you."

 

Marcus lowered his eyes. "I will go to Minbar and carry out your orders. I'll try to 'bond' with him and yes, you're right; my training did prepare me for this."

 

Delenn smiled smugly. Marcus wasn't looking at her and she almost purred from pleasure. "Go to Minbar, find Neroon, and do whatever is necessary to create this bond."

 

Marcus drew in a deep breath, took a step away from her, bowed and quickly left her quarters.

 

Lennier left the kitchen and joined Delenn. "He seems reluctant to carry out your plans." He had seen the shocked expression on Marcus' face when the Ranger had left. "Maybe there is another way to ensure Neroon chooses our side?"

 

Delenn shook her head. Her eyes sparkled with satisfaction. "I have seen their destiny that day in the med lab and I won't stand in its way. Marcus and Neroon's destiny are intertwined and sending him to Minbar is the best way to ensure that destiny comes true." Delenn took her seat on the couch again. "Lennier, I would like some more tea."

 

Lennier quickly filled her cup and watched her closely, wondering about her hidden agenda.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Marcus?" Stephen frowned, seeing the distant expression on his friend's face. He almost reconsidered joining Marcus for dinner. Maybe Marcus needed some privacy. "I'd better leave you alone."

 

"No!" Marcus almost jumped up from his seat. "Sit down, please. I was just... thinking."

 

"Thinking? Sounds dangerous." Stephen placed his tray on the table and poked at his food.

 

Marcus gave his friend an indignant glare. Normally he enjoyed their bantering, but he wasn't in a playful mood. He couldn't stop thinking about his new assignment. "Stephen? Can I ask you something personal?"

 

"Sure, but I can't promise I'll answer though..." Stephen dug into his food. Closely studying his friend, he saw the fine lines of worry on Marcus' brow.

 

Marcus looked about, making sure that no one was eavesdropping. He wanted this to stay private. "I was wondering... Have you ever had a male lover?"

 

Stephen choked on the food, grabbed the napkin and spit out the bite. "What?" Had Marcus really asked him about male lovers?

 

"Forget about it. It's not important." Marcus sipped his caff, wishing he had ordered something stronger.

 

"No, it's okay, but why do you want to know?" Stephen pushed the plate away from him, concentrating on Marcus. As far as he knew, Marcus hadn't had a lover since arriving at Babylon 5 and he had no idea what his friend's love life had been prior to coming to the space station. And wasn't he in love with Susan? Marcus had hinted at that repeatedly!

 

Marcus shrugged his shoulders, regretting every addressing this subject. "No special reason."

 

Stephen drew in a deep breath, making his decision. Marcus was trying to act casually, but he didn't buy it. Knowing Marcus, he probably had a good reason to ask this particular question. "Yeah, I had a male lover once... when I was studying at the Earthforce Academy."

 

Marcus raised an eyebrow, surprised that Stephen was volunteering this information. He remained quiet, not wanting to appear too curious.

 

Stephen actually smiled, seeing the barely hidden curiosity on Marcus' face. "His name was Peter and we were lovers for a short time. But we were assigned to different stations and we lost contact."

 

Marcus suddenly felt embarrassed. "I'm thinking about... you know... bloody hell, are you going to make me say it?"

 

"Are you attracted to a man?" Stephen was stunned. "What about Susan?"

 

Marcus didn't know how to answer that one. "I still have feelings for her, but come on, Stephen; we both know it's not going to happen. Different galaxies, remember?"

 

Yes, Stephen remembered the joke he had cracked when the Vindrizi had captured them. "I might have spoken too quickly, Marcus. I do believe she likes you!"

 

"And that's why she throws roses at me? I never gave her any roses!" Marcus sighed. "I had better give up on her. She's out of my league."

 

"What's going on, Marcus? I don't know you like this." Maybe this was more serious than he had originally thought! "Who is this guy that makes you doubt your love for Susan?"

 

"You don't know him," Marcus said, and it wasn't even a lie. Stephen had been on walkabout when he had challenged Neroon. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm leaving the station shortly and I have no idea when and if I'll be back." 'Bonding' with Neroon, as Delenn had called it, might take him weeks, maybe even months, and he wasn't sure Delenn wanted him to return to the station after winning Neroon's trust. He would be more valuable as her liaison on Minbar. It was best to forget about Susan.

 

Stephen leaned in closer, trying to capture Marcus' evasive gaze. "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

 

"I can't... Secret mission," Marcus said jokingly, trying to play everything down. "You know, Delenn loves secrecy and this is confidential."

 

But Stephen saw the tormented expression in Marcus' eyes and felt apprehensive about this 'secret mission'. "Can't Delenn find someone else to go on this mission?"

 

"No." Marcus appreciated what Stephen was trying to do, but... "We live for the One, we die for the One, Stephen. I have to accept this mission." This conversation was becoming uncomfortable and he got to his feet, eager to leave. "But thanks for listening to me, Stephen. You're a good friend." One of the few he had!

 

The doctor watched his friend until Marcus had disappeared from view. Something was very wrong!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus had packed his duffle bag and was now heading to the departure area. As his mission was still secret, he had secured a Narn flyer to travel to Minbar. Delenn wanted this to stay low key and none of the other warrior clans was supposed to know about his arrival.

 

Pacing, he waited for the technician's signal to board the little ship. Looking over his shoulder, he realized Delenn had no plans to say goodbye. It was a little foolish to expect Ranger One to come here, but he had hoped someone would want to say their goodbyes. Guess people won't miss me after all. I always knew I was expendable, but... A goodbye would have been nice.

 

"Ranger Cole? The ship's ready for you. I modified the control panel as you requested."

 

"Thanks," Marcus said, addressing the technician and headed for the flyer. He dropped his duffle bag onto the floor and slid onto the pilot’s chair. "C&C, this is flight Alpha, Gamma, Omega, requesting permission for take off." There was no point in postponing his departure.

 

"Marcus?"

 

He recognized Susan's voice straight away, but forced himself to remain calm. "Ranger Cole requesting permission for departure."

 

Susan's tone cooled down considerably. Where he had first heard curiosity and concern, it was now matter of fact.

 

"Permission granted."

 

Marcus nodded his head and let his hands move over the control panel. The engine powered up and thrust the flyer toward the bay doors, which opened and spat out the plane. The distance between the Narn flyer and space station quickly increased. He allowed himself to cast one last look at Babylon 5, wondering if he would ever return to the only real home he had known since Arisia had been destroyed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus managed to control his nervousness as he entered Neroon's stronghold at Tuzanor. The trip to Minbar had taken him two days and had left him tired. He didn't feel up to seducing Neroon just yet. First, he needed a shower, a clean uniform and something decent to eat. The food bars he had packed had tasted horrible.

 

Straightening his shoulders, he walked toward Neroon, who stood waiting for him at the back of the hall. He blinked; the sun shone brightly and cast many different reflections through the roof, which was made of colored glass.

 

Several Minbari warriors mumbled disapprovingly at his arrival, but he ignored them and concentrated on Neroon. "Alit Neroon, I am honored that you are granting me your hospitality." Formally, he bowed his head and remained at the required, ceremonial distance; six feet separated him from Neroon. Taking in the warrior's appearance, he flashed back to Down Below where Neroon had come close to ending his life. He briefly shuddered at reliving the memory.

 

"Anla' Shok Cole," Neroon said, greeting his guest. "You are welcome at my home. I asked my servants to assign you appropriate quarters. We will talk later."

 

Marcus inclined his head, grateful that Neroon allowed him a breather. "Thank you for your hospitality, Alit Neroon."

 

"Nasdak!" Neroon looked to his right and a young Minbari warrior stepped forward.

 

Marcus closely studied the young warrior and wasn't sure what those eyes were hiding. Delenn's warning returned to him; there was a traitor among the warriors!

 

Neroon formally introduced them. "Anla' Shok, this is Nasdak. He will show you to your quarters. Nasdak, this is Anla' Shok Cole."

 

Nasdak's expression turned dark and yet there was still a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Please follow me."

 

Marcus didn't know what to make of Nasdak yet, but he would have time later to find out. Right now, he needed to thank Neroon. "Thank you, Alit Neroon, and I'm already looking forward to our conversation later." Neroon inclined his head, signaling that this conversation had ended and Marcus bowed in return. As Nasdak walked toward the doorway, he followed the young Minbari.

 

Neroon's eyes stung his back and he could almost feel the other man's curiosity. What the hell did Delenn tell Neroon? I know what she told me, but... what does Neroon think I'm doing here? The only unknown factor was Delenn and he should have realized that before leaving Babylon 5.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon signaled his clan men to leave him alone for now. Although they wanted to know what a human was doing in their midst, he didn't feel inclined to discuss this with them right now. Delenn's words had been very clear; Marcus Cole was here to help him uncover the identity of the traitor, whose treason had cost human and Minbari lives.

 

He had agreed to help her find the traitor, unwilling to put up with a traitor in his ranks himself, but he still refused to support her cause. He still wasn't convinced that she wasn't the religious zealot he thought her to be. Rationally, he knew Marcus had a hidden agenda, which probably was to win him over for Delenn's cause, but he didn't plan on giving in easily.

 

But why did she have to send Marcus Cole? Why not someone who is a stranger to me? Or does she know I have an interest in Marcus Cole? If she figured that out, she is more cunning than I thought her to be. By Valen, I have not felt interested in another man since Branmer...

 

Lost in thought, Neroon retreated to his private quarters to prepare himself mentally for the upcoming meeting with Marcus Cole.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I feel better already! His quarters were more luxurious than he had imagined. The bedroom was large, but spartanly furnished. He would fix the tilted platform later, rig it with a wet towel like Sinclair used to. However, the thing that had astounded him was his bathroom. It was even bigger than his bedroom and contained a miniature waterfall and real, green plants, some of them in bloom. The ceiling consisted of blue glass that caught the sunbeams and considerably brightened the room, even giving the impression of being outside. 

 

I wonder why Neroon gave me these quarters. They hardly suit my low standing as a mere Ranger. Thinking this over, he dried his skin and almost regretted leaving the bathroom. Nasdak had brought him a clean Ranger uniform before the young Minbari had excused himself, and as he closely examined the uniform, he realized that these weren't his clothes. Where had they found a second uniform that fit him perfectly? Had Neroon such good ties within the Rangers? Maybe Master Durhann helped him out...

 

Marcus released a deep sigh, uncovering a jar filled with body lotion. He rarely bothered with skin care; it wasn't something high on his list of priorities, but now he had to pay attention to these little things. It was a special mixture, made at the Ranger Training Facility and possessed one special ingredient that acted as an aphrodisiac. Briefly, he felt guilty for setting up Neroon, but he was a Ranger and bound to carry out Delenn's instructions. I just never thought she'd ever order me to seduce Neroon! Bloody hell!

 

Rubbing the lotion onto his skin, he tried to straighten out the mess inside his head. This time he was a definite disadvantage, never having had intercourse before. He had to act his part to make sure Neroon didn't realize he was dealing with a virgin.

 

Well, virgin... I didn't have sex, but that didn't stop me from trying out other things. He had dated Hasina back on Arisia and occasionally they had spent the night together. I just have to use my limited knowledge to my advantage. I know what I want out of a blowjob and I remember what made one blowjob better than the next, but to actually give one is very different. He shuddered at the thought of going down on Neroon.

 

And why does it have to be a man? Why Neroon? Why couldn't Delenn pick a female warrior? Why Neroon? I really don't want to do this, but the oath binds me. I can't quit the Rangers because I have a problem with the nature of this mission. I always knew that I would have to give up my virginity at one point. It's amazing that I managed to keep it intact this long.

 

Briefly, he considered setting up a game plan in order to seduce Neroon, but decided against it. He always worked best under pressure and when improvising. Tonight he was joining Neroon for dinner and things would evolve from there.

 

Bloody hell, what's that smell? It's the lotion... I didn't realize its fragrance was this strong! He hoped the smell would fade a little once his skin had absorbed the lotion.

 

After slipping into the Ranger uniform, he realized that it was still too early to join Neroon for dinner. He sat down, uncovered his pike and began extending and closing it. Stephen always gave him the look when he continued to open and close his pike. Probably thinks I'm sexually repressed, but I'm not...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next hour passed slowly and eventually he got bored with his little game now that there was no one to drive mad. He spent the last ten minutes doing light pike exercises, trying to relieve his tension.

 

He heard footfalls in the corridor and waited for the knock on the door. "Yes?"

 

Nasdak opened the door and stepped inside. "Alit Neroon will see you now."

 

I wonder what's that badly concealed grin about. Marcus decided to keep an eye on the young Minbari. He couldn't rule out that Nasdak was the traitor. It appeared that Nasdak was one of Neroon's confidants and had access to privileged information. He followed Nasdak into the corridor and memorized the way to Neroon's quarters.

 

Nasdak halted and knocked on the door to Neroon's quarters. Then, he bowed and left Marcus standing in the corridor.

 

Marcus had a tight hold on his emotions, which he couldn't allow to act up now. He needed his wits about him and he tried to remember everything his teachers had told him when it came down to seduction. I wonder how Delenn knew that Neroon prefers men. Does that mean he had a male lover once? Why didn't she give me additional information? That would make things easier!

 

The door opened and Marcus straightened his shoulders before stepping inside. He had expected several guards to be present but strangely enough they were alone. Neroon rose from behind the dinner table and inclined his head in greeting. Marcus acted at once, falling back on conversational techniques, which his trainers had ingrained on him. "Alit Neroon, thank you for inviting me to dinner. It's an honor."

 

Pleased, Neroon bowed his head. "Minbari highly value their hospitality, even when their guests are humans."

 

Ah, that's the way you plan to play this? Marcus licked his lips and was ready to quip a sarcastic remark when he realized it wouldn't help him attain his goal. If he wanted to please Neroon, he had to adjust his behavior accordingly. "I'm already indebted to you."

 

Neroon gave him a smug look. I can hear you thinking, Neroon. Forget about it, I'm not giving myself away this easily! Marcus approached the dinner table and waited for Neroon to signal him to take a seat. Absentmindedly, he noticed the third plate, which was in honor of Valen.

 

"Indebted to me?" Neroon finally gestured Marcus to sit down.

 

Marcus took the seat opposite Neroon and watched him closely, hoping that the lotion was already piquing Neroon's interest. "Yes, you let me live, didn't you?" A puzzled expression flashed across Neroon's face and then disappeared again. You're good at hiding your emotions, but so am I! This is going to be a battle of wits! "I was wondering though, why did you stop short? Denn'Sha is to the death."

 

Although Neroon showed no visible reaction, Marcus had the impression that something eluded him, but what? Neroon sat rigidly, seemingly hesitant to move. The smug look was fading, but he couldn't label the expression that replaced it. Maybe the lotion was working?

 

Marcus allowed a sly smile to break through and leaned back, suddenly feeling more confident. "Why did you let me live? Didn't that get you into trouble with your clan?" Neroon's smile had definitely faded and Marcus tried not to feel too victorious. This was only the first verbal duel in a long fight. 

 

Neroon composed himself and cleared his throat. "I lost some of my credibility and letting you live damaged my reputation, but you called on Valen's name in the moment of your impending death. No human would invoke Valen."

 

"In case you hadn't noticed, I am human," Marcus countered. Two servants entered and placed several food items on the table. Yes! No bloody Flarn! I hate Flarn!

 

"But with a Minbari soul," Neroon said, barely audible.

 

That observation surprised Marcus and made him curious. "A Minbari soul? I thought you didn't believe humans and Minbari had anything in common?" Yes, Neroon was definitely growing more uncomfortable. Now don't be too cocky, he chided himself. Neroon might be setting you up! Neroon reached for the food on his plate and started eating. He's stalling, why? I didn't expect it to be this easy! Something is off...

 

Neroon suddenly pushed away his plate, got to his feet and paced the room. Marcus' eyes followed the Minbari and never stopped analyzing Neroon's actions. What's troubling him?

 

"I fought in the Earth-Minbari war," Neroon revealed, turning around and locking eyes with his guest. "I was also present when they interrogated Sinclair."

 

Now this was new information! Even Delenn hadn't told him this! Marcus listened closely, eager to learn more.

 

"A telepath scanned his mind and examined Sinclair's memories. She even managed to push past the threshold of birth and back to his last life. She proclaimed Sinclair's soul Minbari and Minbari do not kill Minbari so we had to release him. I saw it with my own eyes, but..."

 

"You don't really believe it's true," Marcus finished for him, intrigued. "Did you ever talk to Sinclair? Personally?"

 

"Oh yes." Suddenly, the smug smile was back. "I dealt with him when he was in charge of Babylon 5 and later I met him again on Minbar when he led the Rangers."

 

Marcus was tempted to rise from his chair as well, but didn't. Neroon was pacing because the warrior felt ill at ease and Marcus wanted to radiate calm and confidence, so he remained seated and sipped some water. "So why do you think that my soul is Minbari when you can't believe Sinclair's was?"

 

Neroon remained quiet and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Staring out of the window, he looked like a statue and Marcus reluctantly got to his feet. He walked over to the warrior, and tried to make sense of the other man's silence. "Neroon?" Formally, he had to address him as Alit, but he ignored that detail. He had fought Neroon to the death for crying out loud! "Neroon?"

 

Neroon's eyes suddenly flashed alive, fastened on him and began to burn. Marcus forced himself to stand firm and not back down. "Was it something I said? I apologize if I said something inappropriate."

 

The fire in Neroon's eyes died as quickly as it had appeared. "No, your question is justified. I can understand that you want to know why I changed my mind."

 

"Then why did you let me live?" It hadn't been his intention to address Denn'Sha, but couldn't change the subject at this point.

 

"The truth is that I do not know."

 

Marcus' eyes narrowed. What? And you expect me to believe that? Come on, Neroon, I'm smarter than that! You do things for a reason! "You don't know why you let me live? You broke my ribs, one by one. You seemed to enjoy that part and when I was down it would have been easy to strike one last time."

 

"I told you that I do not know why I spared your life! Do not question your fortune!" Neroon's tone carried a serious warning not to pressure him into discussing this any further.

 

Marcus realized he had to stop manipulating Neroon for now and returned to the dinner table. After sitting down he started eating and complimented the cook. "It would be a waste not to try it, Neroon. Your cook prepared an excellent meal."

 

Neroon reluctantly returned to the dinner table, sat down and picked up the utensils. "You are right. I will let him know that you enjoyed the dish."

 

Marcus closely observed Neroon and noticed the dilated pupils. The discovery mystified him. Neroon was acting out of character and he wanted to know why.

 

Several minutes later, they had finished dinner and sipped the tea Nasdak served. Marcus waited for Neroon to take the initiative, but the Minbari remained silent. I can't figure it out. A host is obliged to entertain his guest and remaining quiet could be considered an insult, but I know he's not trying to insult me. He's pre-occupied. Maybe it was time to end their first meeting. "Alit Neroon, please compliment the cook. I'd better retreat to my quarters now. Please feel free to send for me if you wish to discuss the alliance between the Rangers and your caste; that's why I'm here."

 

Marcus' words pulled Neroon from his musings and he quickly got to his feet as well. "I should apologize for neglecting my duties as a host, but I have a lot on my mind."

 

Marcus smiled and nodded once. You're forgiven. I don't know what's going on, but I hope it won't keep me from fulfilling my mission. It's time to send out one more signal. He walked towards Neroon, bowed his head and leaned in closer than was absolutely necessary. "I really enjoyed having dinner with you, Neroon. I hope you'll send for me tomorrow. Maybe we could spar. During our fight you outsmarted me several times and I'd be honored if you'd teach me those moves."

 

Neroon's dilated pupils darkened. "Yes, we will spar in the morning. Nasdak will escort you to the dojo. Do not forget to bring your Den'Bok."

 

Marcus licked his lips provocatively before turning around to leave the room. Bloody hell, maybe Delenn's right. Maybe Neroon is interested in me! That would make things a lot easier! Cocky, he strutted out of the room and back to his quarters.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Confused, Neroon released the breath he had been holding. Marcus' scent surrounded him and he had spent most of the dinner rock hard. Embarrassed, he had sought refuge in pacing, and hiding his aroused state from the Ranger, but then Marcus had joined him and the musky scent had nearly overwhelmed him. Iron discipline had enabled him to continue the conversation, but his erection had throbbed painfully, almost demanding to find release inside the Ranger's body.

 

He sank down onto his chair and regulated his breathing. Why is this happening now? And why am I attracted to a human? I respect Marcus Cole because he stood his ground during Denn'Sha, but I cannot be attracted to him! But my body betrays me! I can only hope that he did not notice my arousal.

 

Valen, I only loved once and Branmer did not return my feelings. I thought these feelings died cycles ago and then he walks in, filling the room with his scent and all I can think about is making him mine! Was it just my imagination or did he feel the same way? The way he licked his lips... He leaned in so close that we were almost touching and... His lips called to mine.

 

I do not know what to do. I cannot act on my feelings. My caste would never approve of such a relationship; he is human and Delenn's confidant and he will stay until I agree to support the alliance!

 

He was tempted to ensure Marcus of his support just to make sure the Ranger left his home, but did he want Marcus to leave? Just thinking of the Ranger and breathing in his scent made him erect again. And I agreed to spar with him tomorrow!

 

At a loss, Neroon left the dining room and retreated to his private quarters. He dismissed his aides and lay down amidst a pile of soft pillows. Freeing himself from the confines of his trousers, he lazily pumped his cock. Marcus' scent still teased his nostrils and he stroked hard, raised his hips, fucking his hand. He only lasted seconds, came hard and stared at the spilled seed that now dripped from his hand. Valen, what is he doing to me?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus had slept surprisingly well and was now munching on the breakfast Nasdak had brought him. The young warrior had also told him that Neroon used to work out before noon and would call for him then. Apparently, Neroon wasn't interested in discussing supporting the alliance at this point.

 

It gave Marcus some time to think about his actions. Playing with Neroon like this was dishonorable, and should the Minbari ever find out that he was being manipulated, the fall out wouldn't be nice. So he had to hide the true nature of his mission.

 

He had to admit that Neroon was far more enjoyable company than he had thought. They had battled wits like equals, but he felt that the small victory had been his. What he really wanted to know was what thoughts had occupied Neroon during dinner. Although he didn't know Neroon that well, he had the suspicion that the Minbari had acted out of character last night.

 

He pushed the breakfast tray away from him and headed for the bathroom, where he quickly stripped. Undoubtedly, a clean uniform would wait for him on his bed upon his return. Stepping beneath the calming waterfall, his thoughts returned to Neroon.

 

He hadn't been terrified when stepping up to the warrior as he had thought he would. His selective memory featured a much stronger looking and taller Neroon in Down Below beating the shit out of him. He had been surprised when Neroon had seemed surprisingly normal and shorter than he remembered.

 

Had the choice of a lover been up to him, he would never have picked Neroon, but as a Ranger he couldn't be picky and he had to admit that Neroon didn't repulse him. He could never forget what had happened in Down Below and the tension never left his body when they were face to face, but he was willing to look at this in a new way.

 

Delenn had told him to seduce Neroon, become his lover and if necessary he was to stay on Minbar as long as she deemed necessary. That meant that he could be here for years as Neroon's lover. He had to make peace with that and he should approach Neroon as he would a lovely girl he was interested in dating.

 

Working up a lather, his hand involuntarily drifted to his groan. After only a few deft strokes, he was erect and he leaned against the wall, forcing himself to imagine what being together with Neroon would be like. He would probably end up on the bottom; Neroon struck him as the dominant type and he imagined feeling Neroon's fingers around his cock, pumping it.

 

Bloody hell! What...? That picture made him come hard. Surprised, he stared at his come, clinging to his hand. I never came that fast... and hard. And I was thinking about Neroon, not Susan. Was his body trying to tell him something? Interesting.

 

He cleaned himself up, dried his skin and returned to his bedroom. Yes, on the bed was a clean uniform. Marcus opened his duffle bag and rubbed another layer of lotion onto his skin. This time he barely noticed the smell. He was slightly disappointed that the lotion had had no visible effect on Neroon, maybe it would help if he added some more to be on the safe side? The ingredients were designed to work on Minbari and he hoped his trainers had gotten things right. He needed to draw Neroon's attention if this was going to work!

 

He slipped into his uniform and sat down on the rigged platform. Luckily Nasdak hadn't commented on it, or removed the towel that blocked the mechanism. Bored, he uncovered his pike and started a light work out, not wanting to tire himself out before the real sparring match would start.

 

Thirty minutes later, Nasdak knocked on the door, letting him know that Neroon was in the dojo and awaiting his arrival. Marcus removed his long cloak, which would only hamper him in the upcoming match and followed Nasdak to the dojo. He hoped that Neroon and he would be alone in there, otherwise he had to change his plans. In order for this 'seduction' to work, he needed to be alone with Neroon.

 

Nasdak turned into a corridor, leaving him alone and Marcus entered the dojo. Yes, Neroon was alone. His guards were nowhere in sight! "Neroon." He figured he would get away with addressing the warrior like that. Neroon didn't strike him as someone overly fond of titles.

 

"Marcus." Neroon's voice sounded raw and his dark eyes simmered.

 

Marcus took in his surroundings, ignoring Neroon for the moment. However, he did wonder about the intense expression in the Minbari's eyes. The dojo resembled the training room at the Ranger Training Facility. Several Minbari weapons were ready to use, hanging at the wall. Thin, but very effective mats covered the floor. They would break even the hardest fall. "Impressive."

 

"Thank you," Neroon said politely and opened his pike. "You wanted to learn some of my patented moves?"

 

And you're willing to teach me? I wouldn't relinquish such secrets. It might put you at a disadvantage should we ever meet in battle again. "I'd be honored."

 

"And in turn you will teach me your evasive maneuvers. You have an excellent defense."

 

And a compliment? I'm not that charming! Carefully, he took in Neroon's appearance. He was dressed in the traditional black warrior outfit, but something was off. He just couldn't label it. Extending his pike, he advanced on Neroon. "You do know that you don't have to prove you're the stronger one? I don't want to end up in your medical facility with broken ribs." Marcus hoped it would confirm Neroon's sense of superiority, then the warrior would be inclined to let down his guard. He wanted Neroon relaxed and comfortable when he made his move.

 

"No broken ribs," Neroon promised, stalking closer. "Watch me and mirror my moves."

 

Marcus nodded his head, mirrored Neroon's stanch and watched the warrior closely. A few minutes later, he realized why Neroon had beaten him in Down Below. Neroon was much more experienced in pike fighting than he was and the warrior had had decades to invent his own attacks.

 

Panting slightly, he executed the series of movements, which Neroon had shown him and realized their effectiveness. An opponent barely stood a chance against this particular attack. "Did you come up with this yourself?"

 

"Yes," Neroon confirmed, fluidly executing another attack, which left Marcus in awe.

 

"I was a fool to challenge you," Marcus admitted, opting for honesty

 

"Yes, you were." Neroon grinned smugly. "Now show me your defensive moves."

 

Marcus frowned. He didn't really expect to ever fight Neroon to the death again and he even didn't mind revealing his tactics, but... "You've got to be kidding me, Neroon. There's no way I can teach you, an experienced and accomplished warrior, something new!"

 

Neroon's smug grin grew amused, but the dark fire in his eyes remained. "Show me."

 

Marcus gave in and demonstrated his defense moves. Neroon quickly picked up on the new technique and executed it perfectly. Marcus shook his head. "Now I've got no defenses left when we're going to spar."

 

"I am sure you will invent new techniques."

 

Huh? Did he just compliment me again? Did he? Neroon seemed much more comfortable compared to last night and this time it was Marcus who felt ill at ease. Did Neroon know what he was up to? No, that was impossible.

 

"Let us spar, Marcus. I want to test your endurance and agility. Back in Down Below, you fought for your life. Know that this is merely a sparring match."

 

Marcus took a step back and assumed position. "That's good to hear." I can't believe I'm enjoying myself! Neroon made the first move and Marcus blocked the attack. It's time to make my next move... He didn't have an elaborate plan to seduce Neroon, but had thought up certain situations he could maneuver the warrior in.

 

The sparring match continued for the next few minutes, and then Marcus judged the time was right to lose his footing and... "Bloody hell!" Making sure that he didn't accidentally hit Neroon with his pike, he started to fall backward. He counted on Neroon to catch him and not let him land hard on his ass.

 

Neroon moved quickly, grabbed hold of his waist, but the weight toppled him over. Marcus moved and made sure that Neroon ended up on top of him, between his legs. He counted on the lotion to do its work as his thigh rubbed against Neroon's groin area. Neroon's eyes went from big to narrow.

 

Got you, mate! Marcus licked his lips, rubbed against Neroon's groin again and... Bugger, he's hard! That revelation briefly took him aback. The realization that Neroon was aroused was unexpected. He squirmed beneath Neroon, felt the other man's cock press against his abdomen and knew he had achieved his goal. Neroon was attracted to him, lusted after him. Mission accomplished. The rest will be child's play!

 

Neroon abruptly released him, stumbled to his feet and turned away from him, probably in an effort to hide his aroused state. Bloody shame... If he had made a move, I'd be closer to successfully accomplish this mission! Marcus got to his feet as well, straightened out his clothes and... Bloody hell, you can't be serious! His groin stirred as well and he was growing hard! "Uhm, Neroon, I'm sorry about that. I'm usually not that clumsy. Must have lost my footing." He didn't add that he had lost his footing on purpose.

 

"Those things happen." Neroon drew in a deep breath and turned around to face Marcus again. "I have matters to attend to. I will send for you once I have the time discuss the alliance."

 

"That means our sparring match is over?" Marcus succeeded in placing just the right amount of disappointment in his voice. "I really learned a lot today." And I learned you're reacting to my 'advances'. Maybe I can venture a kiss in a little while. But how would Neroon react to that? He had to make sure Neroon reacted positively to that kiss. Maybe more lotion would do the trick.

 

Neroon said something in Vik and two of his guards appeared. "I need to leave now. Feel free to explore my home; you are not confined to your quarters."

 

"Thank you," Marcus said, smiling. As he watched Neroon leave the dojo with his guards, his smile turned into a grin. Maybe this mission isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I like being in the driver's seat for a change and I do like Neroon... to some extent. I wouldn't pick him as a lover, but he's acceptable... It's weird though... I didn't even know I was attracted to men! This is the first time I've been interested. Stephen would love to hear about this. It's a good thing he's on Babylon 5 and not here!

 

So far, everything was going according to plan. Humming an old Earth song, he left the dojo to explore Neroon's stronghold.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon reached his office and immediately dismissed his guards. He had used them as a shield, putting them between him and Marcus. He retreated to the little bathroom next to the office and shed his clothes. After stepping beneath icy, cold water beams, he stared at his angry erection. "What is he doing to me?"

 

He was a male, had grown aroused thousands of times before, had jacked off to relieve the tension, but this was different. Marcus' scent had taken up residence in his clothes, in his skin and he moaned low in his throat, recalling being between those long and agile legs. Marcus hadn't even flinched away, but the Ranger must have felt his erection!

 

And then he had licked his lips, those luscious, lustful lips! Groaning, he wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked hard, needing release now! "Valen, I need him... Need to feel him beneath me! Marcus!" Climaxing, he imagined thrusting into Marcus' warm and inviting body.

 

"Valen, I want him!" Confused, he stared at the water, which washed away his come. "I want him... but does he want me as well? Marcus has been acting oddly in my presence and today, I could have sworn that was premeditated. Did he drag me down on purpose? I cannot stop smelling his scent!"

 

He stepped away from the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and examined the signals Marcus was giving him; the licking of those delicious lips, being closer than necessary and almost dragging him on top of him this morning. Was the attraction mutual? Could he take the risk and dare find out? But a human lover? A human mate? His caste would never accept that.

 

After donning a clean uniform, he sat down behind his desk. "I cannot let this pass by. I need to know if he is attracted to me as well and by Valen, I will find out!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus explored Neroon's home for some hours and then returned to his quarters. Neroon hadn't contacted him again and he felt undecided. Had he gone too far and too fast during the sparring match? Had he been too obvious? He had only arrived twenty-four hours ago and he had time to get through to Neroon. There was no reason to rush this.

 

Looking out of the window, he recognized Nasdak, who was talking to several of Neroon's personal guards. Maybe it was time to concentrate on finding the traitor and to give Neroon time to think everything over. But how was he going to find this traitor? This Minbari was against the alliance and might try to stop him from attaining his goal, if he presented himself as an easy target.

 

The traitor would never attack Neroon or one of his men, but he was only a human and the Minbari wouldn't feel guilty for ending his life. Yes, he liked this idea. He would present himself as an easy target and see what happened. If the traitor acted, he would be surprised at how hard it was to kill Marcus Cole.

 

Clad in his uniform, sans the long cloak, he left his quarters again. This time he headed for the gardens, hoping the traitor was watching and waiting.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Alit?" Nasdak respectfully bowed his head in greeting. "The Ranger has left the building and is heading for the gardens." He didn't know why his Alit wanted Marcus Cole guarded, but he was used to carrying out puzzling orders. "One of our men follows him closely and will stay hidden at all times, except in case of an attack of course."

 

Neroon nodded his head, but didn't look up from his papers. "Keep me informed, Nasdak. Humans mean trouble and this one actually seeks it out."

 

"As you wish." Nasdak excused himself, leaving Neroon alone.

 

Neroon finally deserted his papers and walked over to the window. In the distance, he made out Marcus' fading form. The Ranger was indeed headed for the gardens. "Making yourself an easy target, are you?" He didn't worry about Marcus' ability to defend himself against a possible attacker. What worried him was the traitor's identity. As long as they didn't know who was leaking information to their enemies, he couldn't trust anyone.

 

"Marcus, what do I do with you?" Neroon returned to his desk and sat down, recalling this morning's events. Feeling Marcus beneath him had felt incredibly right and he yearned to be between the Ranger's legs again.

 

His passion for Marcus had grown since the Ranger had arrived. When he had told Marcus that he didn't know why he had let him live, it had been a lie. When you challenged me to Denn'Sha I admired your courage. When you fought me, I admired the fire in you. When you called upon Valen while staring into the butt end of my Den'Bok, I admired the gleam in your green eyes. You upended my world, Marcus... And I crave having you close.

 

But the feeling of needing Marcus close wasn't as strong as it had been before. Last night during dinner and this morning during the sparring match, he had tightly controlled his desire. Marcus' scent and closeness had been intoxicating.

 

"Do I court you? Do I ignore you? Sent you back to Babylon 5? If I give Delenn my support you will stay to be her liaison, if I deny her my support you will stay to change my mind..." It was an impossible dilemma.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus enjoyed his walk in the gardens, but had immediately noticed the guard that followed him everywhere he went. It wasn't the traitor; his instincts told him that his host had ordered his guards to keep a close eye on him. Bugger, this way the traitor won't show himself! But he couldn't shake the guard either. If he did the guard would get into trouble with Neroon for letting a Ranger outsmart him!

 

After thirty uneventful minutes, he returned to his quarters, hoping to find Nasdak with a message that Neroon wanted to see him, but... nothing. Should I take the initiative myself?

 

Determined, he headed for Neroon's office, having passed it by earlier. Two guards stood in front of the door and eyed him suspiciously. Marcus cleared his throat and tried his best, pronouncing the language of the warrior caste, asking the two guards permission to talk to Neroon. Both guards tried to hide their surprise, but Marcus registered it nonetheless. Hah! You didn't I think I spoke your language! I come well prepared, you know!

 

One of the guards stepped into Neroon's office and he tried to peek inside, but the door closed too quickly to catch a glimpse of Neroon. Waiting impatiently, he tapped his foot on the floor, which obviously irritated the other guard. Marcus shot him a stunning smile.

 

"Alit Neroon will see you," the other guard announced as he stepped into the corridor again, leaving the door open.

 

'Thanks, chap!" Marcus strolled inside, trying to radiate confidence. Neroon rose from behind his desk and their gazes locked. The brown eyes still simmered and Marcus suddenly realized that he was playing with fire. If Neroon really was interested in him, the Minbari would probably take the initiative and he would find himself in dire straits. His bluff would be called the moment Neroon wanted to become intimate. Suddenly, he felt a lot less at ease.

 

"You wanted to talk with me?" Neroon left his desk and advanced on his guest.

 

"Actually, I was wondering when we would discuss the alliance and you whether or not supporting them." Discretely, his eyes drifted lower for only a second and... Yes, he immediately noticed the bulge in Neroon's trousers. Maybe I applied too much lotion after all.

 

"You wish to discuss the alliance?" Neroon came to a halt in front of Marcus, taking in his appearance. The musky scent was back, driving him wild.

 

"Yes, what can I do to ensure your support? There must be something I can do to change your mind. Maybe you want to talk to Delenn? Or Master Durhann? Even he is in favor of the alliance. Sech Turval also supports us. They were your teachers as well. Don't you trust their judgment?"

 

Neroon glared at him. "That is not why you are here. You do not want to discuss the alliance."

 

Marcus kept his calm, and returned the glare. Had Neroon figured everything out or...?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon opted for action and pushed Marcus against the wall, clutching the Ranger's head between his hands. Marcus' pupils dilated and the Ranger didn't try to move away. Encouraged, Neroon leaned in closer and possessively claimed Marcus' lips, carefully monitoring the other man's response. If Marcus pushed him away, he would stop at once, but the Ranger parted his teeth, allowing him entry. Neroon accepted the invitation and licked the inside of Marcus' lips before entering the sweet moist cavern.

 

He challenged Marcus' tongue to a duel and the Ranger accepted, chasing his. Pushing Marcus harder against the wall, his hands slid lower, revealing white skin beneath the turtleneck. Deserting Marcus' lips, his teeth gently scraped the delicious neck and he suckled the skin hard, leaving a definite mark.

 

Pressing his body closer to Marcus', one hand stole down to the Ranger's groin, searching and finding the hardness pushing against the fabric of the uniform. Satisfied that Marcus was really aroused and attracted to him, he abruptly released the other man. Marcus was panting softly and big, green eyes fastened on him. It seems I took him by surprise after all.

 

"What?" Marcus' voice trembled and his legs almost gave out on him. Panting, he tried to compose himself. "Why did you that?"

 

"You wanted me to kiss you." Neroon returned to his desk and sat down. Leaning into the comfort of his chair, he monitored Marcus closely. The Ranger was blushing and panting, trying to act casual, but unable to pull it off. "Admit it, you came here because you are attracted to me."

 

Marcus' eyes almost bulged from their sockets and he seemed at a loss for words.

 

"Admit it and we can move on to the next step." Neroon was already considering the consequences that this kiss brought with it. He could do two things; accept Marcus as his official mate or take him as a lover and keep this attraction a secret.

 

"I...I..." Marcus seemed unable to form a decent sentence. Involuntarily his right hand went to his lips to touch them. "You kissed me!"

 

"You wanted to be kissed, Marcus. Admit it." Neroon suddenly wondered about Delenn's motives to send Marcus here. Did she know he had wanted the Ranger since Denn'Sha? If that was the case, was Delenn playing with him? Offering him Marcus in return for his support? He needed to think about that; he wouldn't put such scheming past Delenn. She was capable of using his feelings against him. I need to be sure Marcus is attracted to me because of me and that he does not have ulterior motives. How do I do that?

 

"This does not mean I am supporting your cause," he said, testing the waters.

 

"My cause? You bloody well kissed me!"

 

Interesting, the alliance no longer seems to matter to him. Neroon felt slightly reassured. "Are you attracted to me? I want the truth."

 

Marcus seemed to wage an inner battle, but eventually nodded his head. "Yes, I am."

 

"When did it start?" Neroon considered the man in front of him and deemed him a worthy mate... in time. Marcus needed to learn the ways of the Star Riders first, among other things.

 

Marcus appeared cornered. "When I arrived here."

 

Neroon felt puzzled. "Not after Denn'Sha?"

 

"No..." Marcus finally straightened out his clothes, touched the passion mark Neroon had left behind on his throat, and covered it with the turtleneck. "Seeing you made me realize I... I don't know how to explain this. I never saw it coming and I did come here to discuss the alliance not to... to get pushed against the wall and..." His breath hitched and he turned away from Neroon.

 

Seeing Marcus' emotional distress, Neroon joined him. "I apologize if my questions seem inappropriate, but I have to know this attraction is real." Marcus had grown hard, hadn't he?

 

"I don't know what I feel, Neroon," Marcus admitted in the end.

 

Neroon rested a hand at the small of Marcus' back. "Do you want to find out what you feel? What this means?" Marcus shivered and jerked around. Dark, cunning eyes were veiled with uncertainty.

 

"What are you saying, Neroon?"

 

"Ever since you came here I have been thinking about you. My feelings for you are very real. Being so close to you makes me hard, makes me want you."

 

"Want me?" Marcus moistened his lips.

 

Seeing that tongue wet bruised lips, made Neroon moan. "You drive me mad with passion. I never felt this way before and I have had lovers before... male and female, but you... you are different. Yes, I want you, I crave you..." Neroon leaned in again, this time his hand lifted the dark locks and his tongue left a wet trail across Marcus' skin as he suckled the Ranger's throat and ear lobe. Marcus shook and he quickly wrapped his arms around him. "What do you want?" he whispered between playful nips.

 

"I need some time, Neroon..." Marcus' eyes pleadingly locked with Neroon's.

"You have until sunset." Neroon released Marcus and took a step away from him. "You will find me in my quarters at sunset. If you really want this, want me, you will come to my quarters willingly."

 

"Sunset? But sunset is only a few hours away."

 

Neroon walked over to his desk and sat down. "You may leave me now." From the corner of his eye, he watched Marcus flee the room. Now that Marcus was gone, he released a strangled moan and leaned back. Valen, what was he doing? It wasn't like him to be this aggressive, this possessive, but Marcus had awakened these feelings in him. They had even pushed away his nervousness. When he had first kissed Marcus he had feared rejection, but then the Ranger had kissed him back, growing hard beneath his touch.

 

Mate or lover? Or lover first and then mate? It was quite a complex decision, which he had to make. If he took Marcus as his lover, he would keep the relationship a secret and he was still an official bachelor. Other Minbari houses constantly inquired if he wasn't interested in marriage. Taking Marcus as his lover was the smart thing to do, leaving all options open.

 

Accepting Marcus as his mate would only create immense problems. His clan would condemn his choice, Shakiri would no longer consider him a possible successor and he would officially ally himself with a human.

 

But he was getting ahead of things. He wasn't even sure Marcus would come to his quarters and if he did, what would happen tonight? An insane urge to make Marcus his overwhelmed him every time the Ranger was close. If Marcus came to his quarters, he would make love to him. And what if he does not come willingly? Then I will consider this matter over and done with. No lover, no mate.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus quickly closed the door behind him. That had been more than he had bargained for! Neroon pushing him against the wall had startled him. Then Neroon's lips had pressed on his and a tongue had sought a way into his mouth. But his plan had worked. He just wasn't sure to be pleased or terrified.

 

Neroon was more than willing to become intimate with him. Delenn had achieved her goal, but that also meant he had to go to Neroon willingly. He could vividly imagine what would happen if he accepted Neroon's invitation.

 

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, he sorted out his thoughts. Neroon bought my act. I put out all the right signals and he's attracted to me as well, wants me, as he puts it. I achieved my goal, so why am I so bloody nervous? Because I have never had sex before... I haven't even been intimate with a man before! What does he expect me to do?

 

Marcus bit his bottom lip, trying to regain his inner peace. It was time for some mental warfare. Marcus Cole, you want this. You want Neroon as your lover... as long as Delenn wants you at Neroon's side, that's where you'll be. You'll take the initiative, if he lets you, and you will make sure he trusts you! Delenn entrusted you with this mission and you will carry it out successfully.

 

Sighing, he massaged his temples. Too fast, this was going too fast. Neroon wasn't supposed to turn possessive all of a sudden! I know what having sex with a man entails. I read the books, watched the vids, and my trainers did talk to me about all the erogenous zones involved. I can do this! I need to fool myself into feeling horny! I'm getting laid for the first time tonight... I want this...

 

Marcus got to his feet and headed for the bathroom. He should freshen up before seeking out Neroon later tonight.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon had dimmed the lights in his quarters, had dismissed his guards and made himself comfortable amidst the pile of soft pillows. The sun was about to set and he hoped Marcus would knock on his door any moment now. After taking a shower, he hadn't bothered to get dressed and had merely draped a robe over his shoulders.

 

Mentally, he reviewed all the lovers he'd had. His male lovers had told him that he was an excellent lover and had never complained about his skills, but making love to a human was probably different. He wished he had researched those differences, but he hadn't had the time.

 

Neroon sipped wine, which Nasdak had served him before the young Minbari had retreated for the night. Now he had to wait.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He had almost given up when a soft knock sounded on his door. Neroon grinned, pushed deeper into the comfort of his pillows and placed his glass aside. "Enter." His eyes were glued to the door and when Marcus stepped inside, he sighed pleased. "You have made your decision?"

 

"Yes." Marcus swallowed hard, hearing Neroon purr. "How do you want to do this?"

 

"Come to me, my love." Neroon patted the pillows beside him and watched Marcus closely. The Ranger was blushing, his hands had turned into fists and the usual elegance with which he moved was gone. He is tense, maybe even nervous. "Sit down."

 

Marcus obeyed and masked his nervousness. "Talk to me. What do you want me to do?"

Neroon inclined his head, surprised at Marcus' words. "Kiss me, touch me... what all lovers do. Pleasure me." Marcus lay down beside him and Neroon took charge, sensing Marcus' nervousness. "Too many clothes." He removed the tunic and turtleneck and took in the Ranger's smooth chest. "Exquisite..." The lust was back now that Marcus was this close and he straddled the Ranger's hips, leaning forward and licking the welcoming skin. First, he teased one nipple into hardness, and then the other.

 

Marcus had closed his eyes and his fingers clawed the pillows. Soft, pleased moans escaped his throat.

 

"You are truly exquisite, Marcus. Your body pleases me... but I want you to open your eyes..."

 

Marcus' eyes opened and the green had turned to the darkest blue he had ever seen. "Do you desire me as much as I desire you?" Neroon shrugged off his robe and rested his chest against Marcus', rubbing his skin against his new lover's.

 

He squeezed Marcus' erection through his trousers and the cat-like eyes grew big. "Ah, you are already hard for me..." He unzipped Marcus and pulled down the trousers and underwear. Nestled in black curls, Marcus' cock was growing hard. "Beautiful..."

 

Suddenly, Marcus raised his hands and clasped them behind Neroon’s neck, pulling him down. Neroon gave in willingly, seeking out bruised lips and exploring the soft and willing mouth. Pushing one leg between Marcus', he parted the Ranger's legs and settled between them. "I want to make you mine, Marcus. I want to be inside you. Is that what you want as well?" Marcus squirmed beneath him. "Tell me... I need to hear it..."

 

"Yes... take me."

 

Neroon dove toward Marcus' lips and silenced him now that he had the Ranger's permission. "You will be mine, do you understand? There cannot be any other lovers. You will belong to me...Yes?"

 

"Yes... I understand."

 

Neroon nodded his head. My lover first, my mate later... "I want to last long enough to please you...In order to do that I have to come first... I want your lips around me..." Grabbing Marcus' waist, he rolled the Ranger on top of him. "Lick me... Use your tongue to make me come and then I will pleasure you..."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So far, Marcus had managed to control his nervousness, but now Neroon was asking him to go down on him! He had never given a blowjob before! Looking at the lazy expression on Neroon's face, he knew the warrior expected him to make him come. We live and die for the One... What's giving a blowjob compared to dying for the One? I almost died once or twice... I can do this! Just slide down and get it over with! Delenn counts on you to gain Neroon's support and trust.

 

Sliding down Neroon's body, he straddled the other man's legs and leaned forward. Neroon's eager erection was already leaking pre-ejaculate and bounced demandingly. He wrapped his fingers around Neroon's erection and stroked slowly. Maybe he could get away with a hand job.

 

"No, your lips... Your tongue... Taste me..."

 

Neroon grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him down. He no longer had a choice and licked the erect shaft, trying hard not to shudder at the sensation. Suddenly, Neroon's hand found his erection and the Minbari stroked him roughly. Neroon's other hand still rested on his head and pushed him deeper on to the other man's erection. He almost gagged, but remembered to relax his throat when Neroon thrust deeper.

 

"Oh yes, my lover... Taste me, let me come inside your mouth... Accept this gift, my come..."

 

Marcus barely registered Neroon's rambling. He was busy trying not to choke, as Neroon's thrusts grew harder. Neroon pushed his head down again, then let him come up for breathe... Neroon was in charge, setting the rhythm and getting off on it. Marcus felt nauseous when a warm, salty liquid slid down his throat.

 

"Yes! Yes!" Neroon threw back his head and thrust one more time.

 

Marcus forced himself to swallow. I want this, I have to do this! This isn't Neroon's fault! I came here willingly and he thinks I want to have sex with him. This is my doing.

 

"And now lick me clean, my lover..."

 

And he had thought this ordeal had been over with! Obediently, he licked the head of Neroon's cock clean.

 

"You did well, Marcus... Come here... Now it's my turn to pleasure you..."

 

Before he knew what was happening, Neroon had rolled him onto his back and spread his legs. "What are you..." Neroon's lips silenced him and the warrior's tongue greedily slipped inside.

 

"You taste wonderful..."

 

Neroon knelt between his legs and the Minbari's hands were all over his body, touching and teasing him. He locked eyes with Neroon, refusing to feel ashamed for going down on the Minbari. Apparently, we live, die and get fucked for the One!

 

Neroon found his lax penis and seemed disappointed. Come on, I just went down on you and you expect me to be hard? I was trying not to throw up!

 

"Close your eyes..."

 

"Why?" Marcus felt vulnerable. Neroon hovered above him, in control and growing hard again. No, he can't be hard again! Not that quickly! Suddenly, he caught sight of the blindfold that had appeared out of nowhere. Swallowing hard, he allowed Neroon to blindfold him. He had started this and he had to see this through. Once they'd had sex, Neroon would grow to trust him!

 

"Just feel... Do not speak, do not listen... Let your body feel instead."

 

He wasn't sure he liked the blindfold, but it never occurred to him to tell Neroon to remove it. Warm and cunning fingers teased his balls, rolled them in the palm and teased his cock into hardness again. "Ah...." Something wet and warm touched his cock and his toes curled at the sensation. Neroon licked up the length of his cock, teasing the slit. Then the Minbari took first one, then the other heavy ball into his mouth, gently sucking it.

 

What are you doing to me? I... I never felt like this! Unable to control his body, he thrust into the warm wetness. He almost cried out when Neroon pulled back. Please, I want to come...

 

What? What's that...? Neroon's tongue slithered down the cleft, teasing his pucker. No, that's... gross... get your tongue out of.... theeereee... Jerking violently, he pushed down when Neroon's tongue pushed past the guardian ring. Gross... but it feels so good... I'm going to come anyway... But Neroon squeezed his cock sharply, making sure he didn't come yet. No, you bastard, I need to come!

 

He froze as Neroon pulled back, leaving him in need of release. What was Neroon doing? Concentrating on the few noises, he still felt clueless. Was Neroon fisting himself or... Rubbing lubrication onto his cock? I do hope he realizes he needs something to get inside. I won't let him tear me...

 

"Neroon..."

 

"I told you to be quiet."

 

"But there's something you need to know!"

 

"What?"

 

"I... I'm new at this... You're my first..." Neroon had to know he was new at this. Damn this seduction to hell! He was okay with having sex with Neroon, but the Minbari wasn't going to hurt him.

 

"Your first what?"

 

"You're the first to take me like this..." Marcus' voice became a whisper. "I don't know about Minbari, but when two human males have sex they need something to ease the way in. Oil, or lotion or..."

 

"Marcus, calm down. I just rubbed some oil on."

 

Marcus sighed... "I just thought you should know..." Unexpectedly, the blindfold was removed and he blinked a few times, trying to focus on Neroon. The Minbari's expression was thoughtful.

 

"You should have told me earlier."

 

"I didn't want to spoil the mood..." Marcus tried to grin, but failed. "I'm nervous."

 

"That is normal, considering this is your first time..." Neroon almost seemed to reconsider. "Do you want to proceed?"

 

Marcus nodded his head. He had come this far and he wasn't stopping now. Better to get it over with!

 

"I will be gentle."

 

"Let's do this, Neroon." Marcus grabbed the Minbari's head and claimed his lips. Convince him you're sincere! It worked. Neroon passionately returned his kiss and then pulled back, his eyes blazing with lust.

 

His breath caught as Neroon guided his legs over the warrior's shoulders. Exposed like this, his fingers clawed the pillows. He hoped it wouldn't hurt too bad. Staring into Neroon's eyes, his breath hitched, feeling the tip of Neroon's cock against his guardian ring.

 

"Try to relax." Neroon leaned in closer for another kiss.

 

Marcus eagerly returned the kiss. It helped that Neroon was still stroking his cock and he was about to come. Clenching his teeth, he rode out the shallow pain that cut through his lower body as Neroon pushed inside. "Oh..."

 

"I promise you ecstasy." Neroon started a gentle rhythm.

 

Marcus expected even more pain, but it faded and a warm sensation went straight to his cock. Neroon brushed his prostate and he screamed, releasing his come. Still staring into Neroon's eyes, he noticed the Minbari's pleased grin.

 

"I made you come, Marcus... but we need more practice. I will last long and you came already... but maybe you will come again."

 

Neroon's hands held him in place as the Minbari continued to thrust, almost pushing him over the floor. The power of his thrusts increased and so did his pace. "What...?" Neroon's cock brushed his prostate again. "I can't believe this... I'm growing hard again!" Neroon aimed his next thrust well and battered against his prostate. "My God, what are you doing... oh yes, yes, yes, yes..." Closing his eyes, he surrendered to the sensations that raged inside his body. "Yes, yes! Yes! YES!" Neroon buried himself inside his body one last time and climaxed. Something warm settled inside his body and he realized it was Neroon's come. Bordering on the edge of unconsciousness, he panted hard, clinging to Neroon.

 

"You did well."

 

Neroon placed a kiss on his brow and Marcus sighed, tired and spent. He yelped softly as Neroon pulled out. He hadn't expected that to hurt, but it did!

 

"Close your eyes and give in to sleep," Neroon whispered softly. "I'll take care of you."

 

Marcus smiled, satiated and closed his eyes. Falling asleep only took him seconds.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon sat back and watched his lover sleep. "Why did you wait so long to tell me I am your first?" He had been tempted to stop, but his body -and Marcus'- had demanded release. After rolling Marcus onto his stomach, he parted the buttocks and checked for any injuries. He hadn't held back when he should have and he encountered some blood.

 

Neroon rolled Marcus onto his side and made sure several pillows cradled his lover. From the bathroom he fetched a clean towel and a bowl of water and cleaned Marcus and himself up. Setting the items aside, he gathered a blanket, covered Marcus with it and spooned up behind his lover. His fingers gently tangled in the dark locks and he marveled about the man in his arms.

 

"I should have asked you if I was your first male lover... I simply assumed and assumed wrongly. I will not make any more assumptions." I was your first male lover... You would not give yourself to me if you did not really love me... This has nothing to do with Delenn's scheming. This is real.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus felt warm and comfortable when he started to wake. He wanted to stretch, but froze, feeling the hot body spooned behind him. Suddenly, last night's events rushed back to him. He had gone to Neroon's quarters and they had had sex. He had expected to feel ashamed and taken advantage of, but he was actually okay with it. The only thing he could have done without was going down on Neroon. That had been much worse than being on the bottom. But he made me come... Twice.

 

"Good morning, my love."

 

Neroon's voice took him by surprise. He couldn't see Neroon and had thought that the Minbari was still asleep. Neroon's tone had been pleased, warm and filled with affection. "Morning, Neroon." Soft hands gripped his waist and rolled him onto his other side, until they were lying face to face. The smug grin on Neroon's face didn't surprise him. "You're a cocky bastard, do you know that?"

 

Neroon looked confused. "A what?"

 

I'd better not teach you the meaning of some words... At least this way I get to have some fun! "You looked damned pleased, making me come."

 

"Pleased?" Neroon grinned. "No, I was proud. I made you come twice. And I was inside of you when you came that second time." His grin faded and a thoughtful expression replaced it. "Why did you wait to tell me? You should have told me before we made love."

 

Made love? Neroon, we had sex! We had sex because Delenn ordered me to have sex with you... though I have to admit it was more pleasurable than I had thought it would be. "Ah, Neroon, what can I say? I didn't think it mattered until..."

 

"Until you realized what was about to happen," Neroon finished for him. "It was reckless and foolish to hide it from me. I should have known you were rather inexperienced."

 

"And how should you have known?" Marcus continued to return Neroon's stern gaze and refused to lower his eyes. "Am I that bad in bed?"

 

Neroon chuckled. "You never pleasured someone orally before, have you?"

 

"You could tell?"

 

"Your teeth scraped my flesh and although you made me come hard, I did fear you would choke on my come." Neroon's smile was warm and he gently caressed the long, dark hair. "Are there any more secrets you wish to share with me?"

 

Ah, Neroon, if only you knew... Hesitantly, Marcus raised his hand and caressed Neroon's bone crest, drawing soft moans from the Minbari. "No, I just thought you should know that I hadn't been with a man before."

 

"Why did you wait this long? It is a divine experience." Neroon leaned in closer and placed passionate kisses on Marcus' throat.

 

Accepting the touch, Marcus threw back his head, exposing more of his throat. "There were wars to fight, stubborn Minbari warriors to challenge to Denn'Sha, traitors to catch..."

 

Neroon stopped kissing him and clutched Marcus' head with his hands. "Speaking of traitors... You will be more careful when walking in the gardens. I forbid you to present yourself as a target. Now that you are my lover, you need to be more careful. I do not want to lose you."

 

"Ah, I didn't know you cared, Neroon." So your guards told you about my walk in the gardens? I knew I was being followed!

 

"I care, never doubt that." Neroon proved his point by pressing a hard kiss on Marcus' lips.

 

"You made your point," Marcus said, once Neroon released his lips. "But we need to find the traitor, Neroon, before even more lives are lost. Minbari and humans paid the price for his treachery and I was sent here to expose him. I'll use whatever means necessary to do that."

 

"You will not place yourself in danger to capture him!" Neroon's tone grew annoyed. "Let me deal with the traitor."

 

"Neroon, I'm a Ranger. I can defend myself should he attack me. You don't have to protect me."

 

"It is custom to protect one's lover, and now that you are mine, I will do my best to keep you from harm."

 

"Neroon..." Marcus' tone carried a distinct warning. "Don't go all protective on me. I can deal with this. I fought you off, remember?"

 

"And you lost that fight, not because you lacked agility or cunning, but because you lack strength. Minbari are stronger than humans. You should not take that lightly."

 

"I'll try to be more cautious," Marcus promised; giving in was better than to fight Neroon on this. It was time to change the subject. "I thought we'd be glued together. Did you clean me up?"

 

"Yes, after you fell asleep. I do not want to neglect my duties as your lover."

 

"That's sweet... Don't look at me like that! I'm serious. That's a sweet thing to do!" Marcus moved and his face contorted briefly. "Bugger, I'm sore..."

 

"You were bleeding and you should apply some soothing balm. Nasdak will bring you the balm."

 

"Ah, Neroon? I don't want Nasdak to know that we..."

 

"We made love..."

 

Neroon kissed him again and he willingly parted his teeth. Challenging Neroon's tongue to catch his, he deepened the kiss and rolled on top of the Minbari. His passion wasn't completely an act. Since last night he was curious to find out more about Neroon's attraction to him, and if he could return that attraction, even better. Manipulating Neroon like this didn't feel right and he hoped to develop some feelings for Neroon in return as they would probably spend months, maybe even years together.

 

"You are passionate," whispered Neroon, after breaking free from Marcus' lips. "I approve of that."

 

"You approve?" Marcus laughed, amused. "I'm so glad I have your approval in this matter." Suddenly, Neroon's hard cock poked his abdomen. "Uhm, Neroon?"

 

"Yes, my love?"

 

"You're hard."

 

"Very observant of you. You are a man of many talents."

 

Neroon rubbed his erection against his groin and Marcus panted softly, growing aroused as well. "I didn't think I could get it up after last night."

 

"You have an excellent stamina, great endurance."

 

Neroon's teasing relaxed Marcus and he noticed the Minbari's dilated pupils. "You want to go again?"

 

"Yes, I want to come... but you are still too sore from last night."

 

"How do you want to do this?" Marcus started to roll onto his back, but Neroon stopped him, keeping him in place. The Minbari parted his legs and pushed Marcus into the right position for their cocks to touch. Aligning them, he raised his hips and thrust gently.

 

"Like that?" Marcus liked the idea, and the position.

 

"Yes, like that."

 

Marcus thrust experimentally, watching Neroon closely. The Minbari grabbed his waist and forced him to speed up. Setting a rhythm that pleased them both, Marcus' thrusts grew wilder. Neroon's cock was leaking pre-ejaculate, making everything wet and slippery. "This feels great..."

 

"I thought it would," Neroon said with his now familiar smugness. "Faster..."

 

Marcus gasped, as Neroon's fingers curled around his cock, stroking him in the same rhythm as his thrusts. "I'm going to come..." Neroon reached for him and pulled him close enough to kiss him. Marcus greedily kissed him back, sucking Neroon's tongue and coming hard.

 

Neroon moaned, releasing his own orgasm and pulled Marcus close, holding him tight. "That is three..."

 

Exhausted, Marcus collapsed, resting his weight on Neroon, knowing the Minbari could easily take it. "That's three times in... How many hours?"

 

"Nine..." Neroon licked his lips and then licked the salt from Marcus' throat. "Mine," he purred, pleased.

 

"Well, as long as you don't forget you're mine too, I approve of that." Marcus smiled as Neroon's arms came up behind him, to hold him close. I would never have thought it possible, but I like Neroon... Being his lover isn't that bad. I might actually enjoy it!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus had just finished taking a refreshing shower when someone knocked on the door. "Bloody hell, timing couldn't be worse. Who is it?" He still had to get dressed and decided against putting the lotion on to save time.

 

"Nasdak. Alit Neroon asked me to deliver a message."

 

"Great, that's bloody great. Wait!" Quickly, he slipped into his trousers and turtleneck, making sure the shirt hid the passion marks Neroon had left behind. We really need to discuss Neroon marking me like that. He headed over to the doorway and opened the door. "Yes?" Nasdak bowed his head and that gave Marcus the time to check on the small box in the Minbari's hands. Don't tell me he sent that balm after all! What if Nasdak peeked inside? Suddenly catching the traitor wasn't that important anymore, keeping his new relationship with Neroon a secret was.

 

"Alit Neroon would like you to join him for dinner later this evening. He regrets neglecting his duties as your host, but there is a clan meeting that requires his attention. He hopes you will accept this small token to make up for neglecting his duties." Nasdak presented the small box to Marcus.

 

"Thank you for delivering this to me. Please tell Alit Neroon that I understand. His clan comes first. And I'm honored to be invited to dinner."

 

Nasdak bowed again and left.

 

Marcus closed the door and released a trembling sigh. Curious, he opened the small box, expecting to find a tube of soothing ointment, but instead... "Neroon, you shouldn't be doing this..." A necklace, made from a silver like material, shone brilliantly. Attached was a pendant in the form of the Star Riders clan. Reverently, he lifted it from the black velvet it was resting on, and examined the metal. This was valuable, not only in credits, but because Neroon was welcoming him into his clan and as a part of his life. Marcus instantly felt guilty. "I should never have accepted this mission. Neroon's a decent fellow and he doesn't deserve to be played like this."

 

After leaving Neroon's quarters this morning he had postponed contacting Delenn, knowing that Neroon would monitor his messages. He would contact Delenn in a few days. In the meantime he would keep Neroon company at night, try to learn more about the Minbari and not because he was gathering info on Neroon, but because he was genuinely interested in the warrior.

 

Neroon would expect him to wear this tonight when he joined the Minbari for dinner. He tried it on and it was a perfect fit. Hiding it beneath his turtleneck, he looked at the mirror. No one would know he was wearing it. "Damn it, Neroon. Why do you have to be a romantic?"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon's thoughts drifted off to Marcus all day long. During the clan meeting he could only think of their passionate encounter. And he would have Marcus to himself in a few hours! He was already eager to make love to him again and would Marcus accept his present? Maybe he was rushing things, but he wanted Marcus to know that he wanted their relationship to be serious, not a one-night-stand.

 

The meeting finally ended and he retreated to his office, accessing all logs. He checked Marcus' records and found that he hadn't contacted Delenn. That had to be a good sign. Marcus wasn't confiding in Delenn about their new relationship and keeping it a secret.

 

After enjoying a long shower, he slipped into some comfortable black robes and headed for his quarters, finding Nasdak in the middle of preparing dinner.

 

"Neroon." Nasdak bowed respectfully. "The Ranger will arrive in a few minutes. He felt honored to be invited to dinner."

 

Neroon sat cross-legged on the floor and took hold of his tea mug, that had been placed on the low table. "What do you think of him?" Nasdak's opinion mattered to him. The young warrior was more than just a servant.

 

"He seems honorable..."

 

A knock on the door cut their conversation short. "We will discuss this later." Neroon got to his feet to greet his new lover. "Marcus." He smiled, seeing Marcus enter his quarters. Was Marcus wearing his present? He would find out after Nasdak had left.

 

"Alit Neroon." Marcus opted for a formal greeting while Nasdak was leaving the room. He didn't want Nasdak to grow suspicious.

 

"We are alone now. You may do without the formalities." Neroon advanced on his lover, placed his hands on either side of Marcus' head and kissed him passionately. "I missed you. You were all I could think about all day."

 

"I missed you too." Marcus initiated another kiss and soon they struggled to end up in charge of the kiss.

 

"You feel so good in my arms." Neroon pulled back and searched Marcus' eyes. "Did my present please you?"

 

"Yes, it did... I'm wearing it." Marcus lowered the collar of his turtleneck for Neroon to see.

 

"It is my way of welcoming you in to my life. The Star Riders are my life, my clan, and I want you to be part of it. You are quickly becoming the most important part..." Neroon enfolded Marcus in his arms and licked his way down his lover's throat until he found the pendant again. "Do you accept that place in my life?"

 

Marcus appeared speechless, but then nodded his head. "I didn't know it would be like this."

 

Neroon smiled, led his lover to the table and sat down. "Join me." Marcus sat beside him and Neroon fed his lover tiny bits of food, often teasing him before allowing Marcus to take hold of it with his teeth. To his delight, Marcus quickly caught on and returned the teasing. "My hunger is of a different kind." Marcus smelled different tonight, even more inviting. The heavy musky fragrance was gone and Marcus own scent had replaced it.

 

"You want to..." Marcus leaned back, watching Neroon.

 

"I want to make love to you... Do you want that too?" He would never proceed without his lover's permission. If Marcus still felt sore, he would respect that.

 

"Actually, making love sounds just fine to me... You already have a head start on me," Marcus remarked, as Neroon dropped his robes. "Going commando?"

 

Neroon frowned. "Going commando? I do not know that expression."

 

"It means you aren't wearing any underwear."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "Now be quiet..." Silencing Marcus with a kiss, his hands quickly did away with Marcus' tunic and turtleneck.

 

"That reminds me... No more marks."

 

"Why? Do you not want to feel the proof of my passion for you?"

 

"Let me rephrase that then, no visible marks, nothing above the collar."

 

Neroon grinned. "That is acceptable." His fingers quickly unzipped Marcus' trousers and pulled them down. His lover was now naked and he had to admit he had left behind too many marks; they marred the smooth skin. "I want you... I crave you..." His passion surprised him. Looking Marcus in the eyes, he saw the same lust reflected there. "Now? We can finish dinner later..."

 

Marcus swallowed hard. "Be careful? I still feel a little bit sore."

 

"I will be gentle... Roll on to your left." Neroon admired his lover's long legs, and spooned behind him. His cock was already trying to slip inside, but he stopped, reaching for the oil. "Let me prepare you properly. I went too fast last night. I regret not paying proper attention, but my need overwhelmed me. Pull up your legs."

 

He ran his hands over the soft buttocks and coated one finger with oil. "We will go slow, as you requested." His right hand stole to the Ranger's groin, pleased to find his lover hard and leaking pre-ejaculate. "Last night I promised you ecstasy, now I promise you passion." Marcus' cock grew even harder under his touch. Stroking his lover steadily, he probed the tight pucker with one finger. Marcus moaned and almost jerked back. "Let me do this, Marcus. Your body needs release as so does mine."

 

"Just do it..." Panting softly, Marcus closed his eyes.

 

Neroon pushed one finger inside and massaged the tight passage. "Calm down, trust yourself to me..." He continued the massage for a few more minutes, then added more oil and a second finger. This time he aimed for Marcus' prostate. The Ranger twitched helplessly in his arms and Neroon squeezed his lover's cock, preventing Marcus from coming too soon. "Not again... Not yet."

 

After applying a generous amount of oil to his cock, he positioned himself at Marcus' entrance. "Soon, my love, soon." He slowly pushed inside, rubbing Marcus' buttocks. He had stopped stroking him and Marcus' erection faded slightly. "Are you ready?" He sheathed himself to the hilt, buried ball deep into his lover's hot passage.

 

"Yes... Neroon... I want to come... I feel so full and..."

 

Neroon thrust, hit Marcus' prostate and smiled, hearing his lover yelp. "I will drive you insane with passion. Let me hear you scream." He thrust again, setting a fast and deep rhythm, constantly battering his lover's prostate. "You may come now..." Marcus' hand grabbed his, squeezing it tight, almost crushing it. Hearing Marcus moan low in his throat, Neroon drove himself in deeper, faster. Hot come dripped from his hand and Marcus' inner muscle contracted around him. Unable to hold back any longer, he climaxed, crushing Marcus to him.

 

Marcus pushed back, and Neroon held him close, licking the back of his neck, tasting salt and sweat. "No marks," he said teasingly. The last waves of ecstasy swept through him. Making love had never felt like this before. "I will keep you..."

 

Marcus chuckled shakily and Neroon took that as a hint to gently pull out. Marcus yelped softly. "I am sorry, my love..." Last night, Marcus had fallen asleep on him, but that wouldn't happen today. "Do you want to take a bath with me?" Rolling his lover on to his back, he kissed both draped eyes.

 

"Yes..."

 

Neroon nodded once. "Wait here..." He got to his feet and headed for his bathroom to fill up the bathtub. Valen, what is he doing to me? I cannot get enough of him... He returned to his lover, gently pulled him to his feet and led him in to the bathroom. He fussed over Marcus when his lover hissed sitting down, and slid in behind him, parting his legs and began to massage the tense shoulders.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus tiredly closed his eyes. "You'll wear me down." He was still trembling from having sex with Neroon or should he rephrase that? Having sex or making love... what had they been doing? Neroon clearly loved him with a passion and he was reacting, not only physically, but he found himself yearning for the next touch, the next kiss and even feeling Neroon inside him no longer repulsed him. At this point he wasn't sure it ever had. Did being in love feel like this? If it did, he had never before been in love.

 

He leaned against Neroon's chest and sighed contently. "A hot bath was just was I needed." Neroon's strong hands showed extreme gentleness when working on his tense muscles. "You surprise me, Neroon."

 

"Why?"

 

Neroon's lips suckled his skin and he hissed. "Nothing above the collar!" He elbowed Neroon, who laughed loudly. "Cocky bastard!" It was a good thing that Neroon didn't know the meaning of that expression. "That felt good..."

 

"The massage?"

 

"Yes..."

 

"Want me to continue?"

 

"Yes! Bugger, you're playing with me!" Marcus let the hot water caress his body. "Neroon? If I weren't this tired I think I could come again."

 

"Want to test that theory?"

 

Neroon's hands moved down his waist and cupped his balls in the palm of one hand, while gently massaging his limp penis with his left. "Neroon, I'm too sore to..." What? To have sex or to make love? "To make love again."

 

"I do not need to be inside you to make love to you. My hands are very talented."

 

Marcus didn't need to see the smug grin to know it was there. "Neroon..."

 

"Close your eyes. Humor me."

 

Marcus obeyed and rested against the warm and strong body. Neroon hadn't exaggerated. Those fingers worked their magic on him, making him hard again. "What about you?" He didn't want to be selfish and leave Neroon behind.

 

"Be silent. This is for you... Another gift from me."

 

Marcus relaxed in the warm water and bit his bottom lip as Neroon managed to pull him back from orgasmic brink, and again... and again. Pleasure became torment, almost pain and he sobbed softly.

 

"You are ready to come..."

 

Suddenly Neroon stroked him firmly and he threw back his head, screaming his pleasure. Shaking like a leaf, he felt how Neroon's arm pulled him close to the powerful chest. "My God... That was one of the most shattering orgasms I ever had. Your hands are truly talented."

 

Neroon smiled and kissed him. "Hungry? We should finish dinner."

 

"Hungry? I'm beat..." Snuggling close, he relished being held this tight.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Good morning, Neroon." Marcus smiled, waking up first for a change. They had fallen asleep cradled by countless pillows and Neroon had covered him with a soft blanket.

 

"Good morning."

 

Neroon leaned in closer and placed a teasing kiss on his lips. "What are your plans for today?"

 

"I have to attend another meeting, but tonight I am yours."

 

"I'd love that..." Smiling brilliantly, Marcus realized his grin had to look goofy to Neroon, but he couldn't help it. His stomach was doing somersaults, and he felt like he had finally reached heaven after wandering aimlessly for so long. "And I love you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The following weeks were spent in mutual bliss. Marcus even moved in to Neroon's quarters. Secretively, he snuck inside every night and the few things he had brought from Babylon 5 quickly ended up in Neroon's rooms. They settled down in a comfortable rhythm of sparring, eating and sleeping in each other's arms and making love.

 

Marcus had realized by now that his crush on Neroon was growing. When Neroon wasn't near, he felt restless and nervous. Finding the traitor or winning Neroon's support for the alliance were hardly on his mind anymore. Neroon was doing his best to find the traitor, but so far he’d had no success. Neroon also still refused to support the alliance and Marcus suspected Neroon was testing him, making sure his reasons for being his lover were honest. Once or twice he had considered confessing everything to Neroon, but when he lay in Neroon's arms his courage deserted him. 

 

Deeming it safe to talk to Delenn, he contacted her. She immediately answered the call, smiling softly.

 

"Marcus... I expected you to contact me sooner."

 

He could see the fine lines of tension around her mouth. "I apologize, but so far there's hardly anything to report."

 

"Continue."

 

He knew he couldn't speak freely. Neroon was monitoring all calls. "Alit Neroon still refuses to support the alliance, but he has promised me to talk to his clan on our behalf."

 

"Yes?"

 

"We haven't had any luck locating the traitor. He doesn't leave any evidence and we don't know where to start. Alit Neroon suspects the traitor might be stationed at the Training Facility, but I don't know why he thinks that."

 

"He may have a valid point. Two days ago Master Durhann suffered a broken back during a mysterious accident. He was following a young Minbari who acted suspiciously. Unfortunately he has no name for us."

 

"A broken back? He'll recover, I hope?" Durhann had taught him how to use the pike! He liked the old Minbari!

 

"Yes, he will. Our best healers are monitoring his recovery." Delenn paused and cleared her throat.

 

Marcus grew alert. Delenn knew he was being monitored so she would adapt her question to his situation.

 

"How is Neroon treating you?"

 

You want to know if we're already sharing a bed... "Alit Neroon treats me very well. He's the perfect host."

 

Delenn's eyes sparkled as she understood the message. "That pleases me. Don't wait too long to contact me again, Marcus..."

 

"Delenn?" He had to take the risk that Neroon would watch this message at one time. The secret was eating at him. "Something unexpected happened."

 

Delenn gave him a confused look. "Marcus?"

 

"I'm in love with Neroon. It started subtlety and at first I didn't realize it was happening. If you hadn't ordered me to seduce him I would have done so anyway. He's a gentle and kind man and he even gave me this." He uncovered the necklace and expected Delenn to lecture him, but instead a broad smile settled on her features.

 

"You put yourself in danger by admitting this. You know Neroon monitors all calls."

 

"I do. I'm fully aware of the risks I'm taking, but I can't lie anymore. I'll tell him tomorrow."

 

"Marcus, he won't easily forgive you."

 

"I deserve his anger, but I can't manipulate him any longer. That never worked. Delenn? I think I have found the other half of my soul. We fit... perfectly."

 

"I am very happy for you, Marcus. Let me know how Neroon reacts when he finds out?"

 

"I will. Thank you, Delenn." He terminated the call and began to pace. Now he had to find a way to come clean with Neroon.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A few days later.

 

"Alit Neroon?" Nasdak waited near the doorway for Neroon's permission to approach.

 

"Yes, Nasdak?" Neroon felt chipper and cheerful. Last night, Marcus and he had made love all night long and he had probably exhausted his lover. He had to admit that Marcus was wearing him down as well, but it was a pleasant exhaustion that seeped through his veins.

 

"I... I found this at Marcus' quarters." Nasdak placed the lotion on Neroon's desk. Seeing the other man's frown, he explained. "At first I thought it was just regular lotion, but... I recognized the scent and had it analyzed. It contains an ingredient that acts as an aphrodisiac on Minbari. I checked if it was a normal ingredient for human lotion, but I could not find a single brand that carried it. This was made on purpose."

 

Neroon's frown deepened. "What are you trying to say?" He didn't like where this conversation was headed.

 

"Is it possible he tried to... to seduce you in order to gain your cooperation? You are supporting the alliance because of Marcus and you caught the traitor a few days ago. I would almost assume this was premeditated."

 

Neroon stared hard at Nasdak. At the beginning, he had had similar doubts, but he had dismissed them after hearing he was Marcus' first male lover. Was Marcus capable of manipulating him like this? Was his passion merely an act? He had been surprised when Marcus had come to his quarters willingly that first night, but his love and passion had pushed away his doubts. Neroon took hold of the bottle and squeezed a small amount on to his fingers. Valen, this was the scent that had driven him mad those first few days! A sinking sensation in his stomach almost made him nauseous. "I will confront him," he promised Nasdak. "Did you find anything else that affirms your suspicions?"

 

"I am afraid so." Nasdak place a tube on Neroon's desk. "It is an antibiotic, ointment to soothe any aches that might occur after the act of love."

 

Neroon examined this item as well. "I did not give him this." Recalling their first times, he remembered that Marcus had told him not to have felt any attraction before arriving at his home. If that was the truth, then why pack this ointment? Valen, he set me up! He used me to gain my support! Shocked, he signaled Nasdak to leave him alone for now. He needed to think. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus impatiently paced his rooms. In an hour he would leave for Neroon's quarters and try again to tell the truth. Last night, he had started, but Neroon had kissed him breathless and his body had betrayed him, craving release. There hadn't been any more conversation, except for a few whispered encouragements. How could he tell Neroon that he had set him up and used him? Later, he had fallen in love with the Minbari, but the guilt kept eating him. He was no longer acting passionately, he really felt lust and love when Neroon was near, but would the Minbari believe him? He had to risk it all.

 

Suddenly the door to his quarters opened and Neroon marched inside. Strange, he hadn't heard a knock! "Neroon?" He stopped in his tracks, seeing the cold and distant expression in Neroon's dark eyes. The Minbari had looked at him like that in Down Below before beating him within an inch of his life. Involuntarily, he backed away from Neroon. "Neroon? Is something wrong?"

 

Neroon placed two items on his platform and Marcus gasped. He hadn't missed the lotion or the ointment as he hadn't used them since that first week. "Yes?" Playing dumb for now, he tried to come up with a way to salvage the situation. Neroon looked furious and icy cold. Emotionally, Neroon had already locked him out.

 

"Care to explain what these are doing in your quarters?" Neroon crossed his arms in front of his chest, a frozen unfeeling statue.

 

Marcus barely kept himself from shaking. He had always known that Neroon could find out the truth. "It's not what you think it is."

 

"This is not an aphrodisiac, designed to drive me wild with passion? This is not a tube of ointment which you used after we coupled?"

 

Marcus cringed. Coupled? What had happened to making love? Had he really lost Neroon? "Please let me explain..."

 

But Neroon cut him short. "No, I merely require answers. Did you set me up? Did you use these items to ensure my support? Did you come to my bed because Delenn ordered you? Did you use me? Yes or no?"

 

Marcus lowered his eyes under Neroon's glare, unable to meet the Minbari's angry expression. "Yes." He couldn't lie to Neroon. "But..."

 

"No, I heard enough. I’ve lost my trust in you. You manipulated me to further the Ranger's cause. I want you gone. You have one hour to pack your things and leave my home. Nasdak will deliver your personal things to your rooms. Do not come to my quarters. My guards have orders to escort you back to your rooms and I will never again talk to you." Neroon's eyes cracked for a second and revealed his true emotions. "I loved you..."

 

"Neroon, wait, let me explain!" No, it couldn't end like this! "Yes, I made a mistake by accepting this mission, but..."

 

"I am a mission to you? You played with my feelings! I was ready to announce you as my official mate and to have our union registered! I planned to propose to you tomorrow evening and you... Just get out of my sight!" Neroon angrily turned around and slammed the door behind him.

 

"No, you have to give me a chance to explain!" But he knew it was useless. Neroon would never again listen to him. He had lost the one precious love he had been looking for his entire life. Collapsing against the wall, he slid down onto the floor and stared at his trembling hands. Why hadn't he confessed everything last night? Maybe then Neroon would have been inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt! Angrily, he pulled at the covers and the lotion and tube dropped onto the floor. He should have disposed of them after that first week, but he had forgotten about them! He had no longer needed the lotion! Neroon didn't deserve this. He had to make one last attempt to convince the Minbari.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus angrily glared at the two guards as they opened their pikes, crossing them in front of Neroon's door, keeping him from entering. "I demand to talk to Alit Neroon!" Marcus' hands were fists and he wanted to slam them against the wall to relieve his anger. "I demand to see him!"

 

"Alit Neroon refuses to talk to you," Nasdak said, entering the corridor. A guard had notified him of Marcus' arrival and Neroon had ordered him to deal with the Ranger until his departure.

 

"Nasdak, talk to him! Tell him that he's wrong! I do love him! It wasn't a lie."

 

"Why should he believe you?" Nasdak's expression grew sad. "I am not overly fond of humans, but you almost changed my mind. I hoped Neroon had finally found a worthy mate, but you set him up, betrayed his love. I do not blame him for sending you away."

 

"Nasdak..." He didn't know what to say, how to convince the other Minbari. "I'm only asking for five minutes! I can explain everything in five bloody minutes!"

 

"No." Nasdak shook his head, straightened his shoulders and inclined his head. "Alit Neroon wants you to know that should you ever meet again, he will challenge you to Denn'Sha and then he won't stop short. He will kill you. You should avoid Neroon."

 

"You can't be serious! I demand to talk to him now! No one threatens me, least of all Neroon!" He loves me! He couldn't kill me even if his life depended on it!

 

"You do not seem to understand how deeply you insulted his honor." Nasdak actually felt some pity for the Ranger. "You pretended to love him, assured him of your loyalty, accepted the token of our clan... It was a lie. Neroon wanted to make your bond official."

 

"Nasdak, I do love him."

 

"I do not believe you and neither does Neroon. Leave now or the guards will remove you from this corridor with force." Nasdak nodded his head and the guards moved forward. "They will also escort you to your flyer. I believe Neroon gave you one hour to leave. You are running out of time."

 

Shocked, Marcus stared at Nasdak. The young Minbari and he had become friends during these last few weeks, but he was looking at a stranger right now. He finally realized that standing here, shouting at Nasdak, wouldn't get him anywhere. He had played with fire and had gotten burned. Neroon didn't want to talk to him, or even see him. Leaving Minbar was his only option. He would return to Babylon and report his failure to Delenn. "Tell Neroon I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen."

 

Marcus walked out of the corridor, leaving his love and his life behind.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon hurried away from the doorway, hearing Marcus leave and Nasdak enter. He had almost caved in and given Marcus a chance to defend himself, but he was already showing too much leniency. According to clan custom he should have dealt with Marcus in a more definite manner; by killing him. Sitting down behind his desk, he blankly stared at the reports and logs in front of them.

 

"He wants you to know he is sorry," Nasdak said, approaching the desk. "I believe he sincerely regrets what happened. I am sorry that I did not find the lotion earlier. You loved him..."

 

"Yes, I did, Nasdak, and I do not think I can ever love again." Marcus had greatly disappointed him and his heart was still recovering from the blow. Would he ever fully recover from the treason? "I thought I had found a new mate and even you approved of him."

 

Nasdak rested a hand on Neroon's shoulder. "I regret that it has to end like this. When you hurt, I hurt... Father."

 

Saddened, Neroon looked at his son. "I know you wanted this to work... And so did I."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus put the flyer on automatic pilot, unable to concentrate right now. His heart was breaking in two and for the first time since losing Hasina and his brother, tears gathered in his eyes. He had found love and had then lost it. Neroon wouldn't give him another chance and he had to return to Babylon 5, having no other place to go. He was a Ranger and answered to Delenn. She would be displeased, learning he had screwed up.

 

The trip to Babylon 5 would take him one day, using various short cuts. He wasn't looking forward to facing Delenn and his friends.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon hesitantly entered Marcus' former quarters. The Ranger had only been gone for a few hours, but he already missed Marcus; his smile, their bantering, touching him, being inside him. Valen, he still loved Marcus! The small box on the platform attracted his attention and his heart missed a beat. Opening it, he stared at the necklace he had given Marcus to welcome him in his life.

 

Sighing, he sunk down on the horizontal platform, which was still rigged, and stared at the pendant. They could have been so happy together! A warrior does not mourn what could have been. I have tasks to perform, meetings to attend. The pain will grow less in time... It has to.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Carrying his duffle bag, Marcus stepped into the arrival area. He hadn't contacted Delenn yet and was relieved that no one was expecting him. He planned on fleeing to his quarters to gather his courage before facing Delenn. He wanted this over with quickly.

 

Entering his quarters, he couldn't help compare them to his quarters at Neroon's home. His were even more spartan! He lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Growing cold, he pulled the blanket over his body and curled up on his side, hoping to lose himself in his dreams.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He felt warm now that Neroon lay spooned behind him. Being in Neroon's arms was a familiar feeling and he smiled in his sleep. "You're wrong," he mumbled. "I love you... I never wanted to use you..."

 

The door chime chirped and woke him with a start, finding Neroon gone. It had only been a dream! Rubbing his eyes, he sat upright, trying to fight down his disappointment and loneliness. The chime chirped again and irritated him. "Enter!" He cringed, seeing Lennier enter. The young Minbari was strangely agitated; he didn't know Lennier like that.

 

"Marcus! What are you doing here on Babylon 5? You never contacted Delenn and..." Lennier's voice trailed off.

 

Marcus raised a hand. "I'll explain everything to Delenn. Can she see me in one hour?"

 

"She gave me explicit instructions, Marcus. You are to accompany me to her quarters."

 

Marcus drew in a deep breath. So much for postponing talking to Delenn. "Just give me a moment to freshen up." Tired, he walked to the bathroom, washed his face and combed his hair. After straightening out his uniform he joined Lennier again. "Let's go, Lennier."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Fifteen minutes, he found himself sitting opposite Delenn, who gave him a critical look. "Delenn, I'm sorry I didn't contact you, but I needed some time to myself."

 

"You look tired, Marcus... Resigned. What happened? The last time we talked you seemed happy, in love."

 

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. "Things spun out of my control."

 

"Here, drink this first. You look like you need something warm." Delenn handed him a cup of tea and waited patiently.

 

Marcus sipped and then decided to get it over with. "Neroon found the lotion and figured everything out. He came storming into my quarters and told me to get out. It didn't take him long to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I should have been more careful."

 

Delenn looked stunned. "He told you to leave?"

 

"Delenn, I set him up! I lured him into a trap and he... Neroon really was in love with me. He welcomed me in to his clan and... even wanted to make everything official."

 

Delenn trembled briefly. "He wanted to make it official?"

 

"He said something about taking me as his official mate and registering our relationship. He wanted to propose to me." Marcus stared into his tea, avoiding Delenn's eyes. "Should we ever meet again he will challenge me to Denn'Sha and fight me to the death... And this time he won't stop short. I screwed up, Delenn."

 

Delenn sat rigid. "The fool..."

 

Surprised, Marcus looked up. "What?"

 

"The fool. He does not see your love is real... His loss." Delenn got to her feet and paced the room.

 

"Delenn, he doesn't want to see me ever again. I can no longer be your liaison to the Star Riders. We can merely hope he won't stop supporting the alliance."

 

"Neroon gave his word and will keep it. He will continue to support the alliance, but that is not what I am worried about." Delenn sat down beside Marcus. "I am worried about you. You love him, do you not?"

 

Marcus nodded his head. "Much good it did me." He placed the empty mug on the coffee table and looked at Delenn. "I'd prefer it if you'd sent me on a mission. I don't want to be here, alone with my thoughts."

 

"No, you are staying. I do not want you to leave on another mission. You have to heal first. You are hurting, here." She placed her hand against his chest. "I will try to talk to Neroon, but I doubt he will accept my call."

 

"Don't... I don't want to embarrass him any further." Marcus wished he could leave. This conversation was depressing him. "Is there anything else you want to discuss?"

 

"No, you may leave..."

 

Marcus rose from the couch, bowed and left her quarters.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Marcus! What are you doing here?" Stephen Franklin smiled, seeing his friend. Delenn had been secretive and had refused to tell him when and if Marcus would be back. "Wow, you have some dark rings under your eyes!"

 

"Haven't been sleeping that well." Marcus cursed privately. He had managed to avoid running into his friends these last four days. He had stayed inside his quarters, merely venturing outside when Delenn requested his presence. Stephen's thoughtful look made him wary.

 

"Want to have dinner together? There's this new place at the Zocalo and I want to give it a try."

 

"Sorry, Stephen, but I'm not hungry. Another time perhaps." Marcus turned in to a corridor, quickly returning to his quarters. The door closed behind him and he dropped onto a chair, staring at the pile of books and crystals that he had assembled lately. He was afraid to go to sleep; in his dreams Neroon came to him, holding and loving him. How do I go on like this? It's killing me...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A few days later, he found himself at Delenn's quarters, waiting for Lennier to show him inside. Delenn had insisted they had dinner together and when he had objected, she had made it an order. Pacing the small hall, he held on to his calm. He couldn't remember when he had last slept properly and exhaustion was getting to him.

 

His informants kept him updated on Neroon. The Minbari seemed to carry on like nothing had ever happened and Delenn had been right. Neroon had kept his word and continued to support the alliance. He would sell his soul to have five minutes with Neroon, to explain to him what had really happened.

 

Delenn's voice grew louder and was now audible in the hall. Marcus halted and wondered if he should leave; it wasn't his intention to eavesdrop, but he couldn't just leave!

 

"Delenn, this is madness. Shakiri's demands are insane. No Ranger will ever accept them and he refuses to negotiate."

 

"Lennier, making this decision is hard on me, but it will ensure a permanent truce between the Warrior Caste and the Rangers, and what is more important, between Minbari and humans!"

 

Unable to walk away, Marcus continued to listen. Shakiri was the leader of the warrior caste and hated humans. What could Shakiri possibly want from Delenn?

 

"Lennier, things have to change. Shakiri offers us peace and by taking a Ranger as his official mate, the truce will be valid and permanent. We have to consider all benefits."

 

"What about the sacrifices?" Lennier said, arguing. "The Ranger who accepts this mission will never return to his family. Shakiri will keep him prisoner. Mate means hostage and we both know that."

 

"Maybe we can find a volunteer?" Delenn's voice trembled. "A truce would prevent even more losses. We would stand unified."

 

"Delenn, you won't find a volunteer. Shakiri is cruel, manipulative and he hates humans!"

 

"Maybe a Minbari Ranger? Lennier... I have to try!"

 

Marcus had heard enough and knocked on the door. "May I enter?"

 

Delenn and Lennier whispered softly. "Yes, Marcus, you may come inside." Delenn told Lennier to leave them alone and turned to face Marcus.

 

Marcus entered and bowed. "I overheard your argument," he admitted at once. "I'm volunteering to go on this mission."

 

"Marcus! You do not know what is involved!" Delenn looked stunned and needed to sit down. Marcus remained standing in front of the couch. "You know Shakiri's reputation. Why would you do that?"

 

"We live and die for the One. I'm a Ranger. I'm here to carry out your orders." Marcus carefully hid his emotions. Neroon no longer wanted him; this was his chance to get away from Babylon 5. I need to do something. I'm going insane being here. This is my chance to make things up to him, to the Rangers. I won't screw up again. "Delenn, I'm probably the only one with experience when it comes down to bedding a Minbari warrior! I can do this!"

 

Delenn shook her head. "You are doing this out of guilt."

 

"Does it matter? You need a Ranger to carry out this mission and I'm willing to do it." Marcus returned her stare. "Please let me do this, Delenn."

 

"It goes against my better judgment," Delenn said, already regretting her decision.

 

"Thank you. Will you make all necessary arrangement or do you prefer I do that myself?"

 

"No, I will contact Shakiri... Marcus, does anyone know about your relationship with Neroon? If Shakiri finds out he will decline our offer."

 

"I don't think so. We were very secretive. Only one servant knew, and he was Neroon's confidant."

 

"I will contact Shakiri," Delenn said, getting to her feet. "I will let you know if he accepts our offer."

 

Marcus bowed once more. "Thank you for this second chance. I won't let you down again."

 

Delenn's eyes grew sad, watching Marcus leave.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"This is the contract Shakiri sent for you to read." Delenn placed the crystal in the player. "I will leave you alone so you can read it undisturbed. We will discuss it after you are done."

 

Marcus stared at the screen, skipping all formalities and got to the heart of the contract. If he signed it, Shakiri would be his superior in every sense of the word. Shakiri demanded his complete loyalty and obedience. The caste leader wouldn't allow him to contact anyone and... Marcus gulped. Shakiri didn't have any offspring and only an official mate was allowed to bear a caste or clan leader's children. If Shakiri demanded it, he had to carry the Minbari's child to full term and had to renounce his rights as a parent. Lennier had been right; Shakiri wasn't looking for a mate, but a hostage.

 

If he accepted these terms he would be Shakiri's prisoner until he died, living secluded at Yedor, cut off from his friends. He was expected to attend certain formal events, but that would be the limit of his appearances. He would be a hermit.

 

Leaning back in his chair, he considered everything involved. He knew that his feelings of guilt were driving him to do this, but he didn't see another way and certainly no way back. It was highly unlikely that he would ever find a love like Neroon's and now that he knew what he was missing, he felt even more depressed. He had played Neroon, played with his feelings intentionally. He deserved to spend the rest of his life like this.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Delenn entered, he handed her the crystal. "It's signed. I accept the terms of this contract."

 

"Marcus!" Delenn shook her head. "I hoped you would not."

 

"Did Neroon talk to you?" Delenn had hinted that she would try to contact Neroon.

 

"He refuses to speak to me," Delenn said, saddened. "But you should not have signed the contract. The terms are unfair."

 

Delenn, if you really didn't want me to do this you could have stopped me. You're my superior. You only had to say no to my offer. "When do I leave?"

 

"You will leave for Yedor in twelve hours. Shakiri will send an escort to take you to his residence at Yedor."

 

"Where I'll spend the rest of my life as his prisoner."

 

"It's not too late yet to reconsider, Marcus."

 

No, Delenn, you accepted this and so do I. And this time I won't say goodbye to anyone either. It's best this way.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Marcus? Are you sure you know what lies ahead of you?" Delenn fought her guilty conscience, but she wouldn't reverse Marcus' decision. She and Lennier accompanied the Ranger to the Minbari flyer that Shakiri had sent to take Marcus to Yedor.

 

"I read the terms, Delenn. Yes, I know what I'm getting myself in to. Can we please stop discussing this?" Marcus carried his duffle bag and recalled the last time he had left Babylon 5, several weeks ago. Back then, he hadn't known he would find love in Neroon's arms.

 

Four Minbari warriors approached them and one signaled him to hand over his duffle bag. Marcus had no illusions considering his new position. Shakiri considered him inferior and so did any of these warriors. Turning around, he bowed to Delenn and smiled at Lennier. "I will miss you," he said, addressing Lennier.

 

"I will miss you too," Lennier replied, shaken.

 

"Entil'Zha..." Marcus turned around and followed the Minbari inside. His personal hell had begun.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

His escort never addressed him, probably thinking he didn't speak the tongue of the warrior caste and he didn't start a conversation either. He mentally prepared himself for his first meeting with Shakiri and didn't delude himself into thinking that the caste leader would be as pleasant company as Neroon had been.

 

The trip back to Minbar passed without incident. The guards kept their distance, glad they didn't have to come near him or even worse, touch him.

 

When they finally landed at Yedor, the beauty of the city took Marcus aback. He had only been here once and back then he had been searching for the Rangers, intend on joining them. He had been mourning and depressed, feeling very much like he felt now, only the reasons differed.

 

The guards signaled him to follow them and he obeyed. They led him into a gigantic crystalline structure; Shakiri's home. The contract stated that he would have his own rooms in the west wing, far away from Shakiri's. One guard barked something at the other and Marcus quickly deciphered the message; tell Shai Alit Shakiri that the human has arrived.

 

A few minutes later the caste leader appeared and Marcus kept staring at the floor. Shakiri wouldn't like looking him in the eyes and Marcus was determined not to screw up again.

 

"Do you speak our tongue?"

 

Surprised, Marcus noticed that Shakiri spoke Standard; he hadn't expected that from a man who hated humans. "Yes, I speak your language, not fluidly, but I can manage."

 

Shakiri nodded his head and circled him, measuring him up. Goose flesh appeared on Marcus' skin, knowing Shakiri was trying to figure him out.

 

"You read the terms of the contract?"

 

"Yes, Shai Alit, I did." One of those terms had been to show Shakiri proper respect and to address him appropriately.

 

"Officially you are my mate, but I do not wish you near me. You will stay in the west wing. Should I have need for you, I will send for you."

 

"As you wish, Shai Alit." He briefly wondered if things could be this easy. When Shakiri backhanded him, he knew he had been right. The Minbari had been playing with him. The force of the blow had thrown him off balance, on to one knee, and he quickly got back to his feet again, knowing that Minbari warriors hated weakness.

 

"Sallis!" Shakiri continued to circle Marcus.

 

From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of another Minbari warrior, who was about Shakiri's age. He shivered, seeing the harsh expression in this man's eyes.

 

"Sallis, take him to his quarters. Tonight, I will pronounce him my mate. And you, human, will be present. Wear your Ranger uniform." Sallis signaled Marcus to get moving, but Shakiri stopped him. "Give me your Den'Bok. You will not carry a weapon in my home."

 

Reluctantly, Marcus handed Shakiri the collapsed pike.

 

"Now leave me! Sallis, relieve me of his annoying presence!"

 

Marcus had never hated someone, but he hated Shakiri within ten minutes of his arrival. His jaw hurt from when Shakiri's hand had impacted with his flesh. He has no idea how strong he is. If he had backhanded me just a little harder, I'd be nursing a broken jaw. Following Sallis, he tried to take in as much of his surroundings as he could.

 

"These are your rooms," Sallis said, opening a door.

 

Marcus stepped inside. His rooms contained a small bathroom, desk, chair and a sleeping platform. My prison. Sallis suddenly pushed him forward, apparently displeased that he wasn't moving and he stumbled forward into the wall. He tried to soften the blow, but ended up hurting his wrist. Controlling his emotions, he walked over to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, but it didn't shut out Sallis' voice.

 

"I will come for you in two hours. Shai Alit Shakiri will then officially proclaim you his mate. After that, you won't be leaving your quarters any time soon."

 

Marcus stared at the small mirror. "I understand." Looking about, he realized how luxurious his rooms at Neroon's home at been. Neroon... I'm so sorry. I want to be with you, but that's impossible. At least this way I'm still of some service to the Rangers.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"It is time to leave." Sallis inspected Marcus' clothes. Pleased with the human's appearance, he pushed him into the corridor. "Do you know what to do and what to say?"

 

"Yes, the contract was very detailed." Marcus clenched his teeth. Sallis was a bully, who delighted to show his power, but the real problem was that he couldn't do anything against it. Shakiri had probably chosen Sallis for exactly this reason.

 

A few minutes later, soft noises reached him. They had reached the great hall where Shakiri had gathered his men. Trying to appear calm and in control, he walked up to Shakiri, bowed, and then kneeled as protocol required. He didn't look at the crowd, feeling embarrassed, kneeling in front of Shakiri.

 

"Clan leaders, clansmen, I gathered you here to witness my marriage to this Ranger. I proclaim him my official mate and in return the Rangers will support us in our struggles. Now that we form an alliance we will support them as well." Shakiri hissed, "Get to your feet."

 

Marcus obeyed, but continued to stare at the floor. Shakiri placed a small knife against the palm of his hand and cut the skin, revealing some blood. It was time for him to answer Shakiri. "Shai Alit, I accept you as my mate. The Rangers and the Warrior Caste now stand unified."

 

"Sallis, take him away. His presence is no longer required." Shakiri walked toward his waiting clan members.

 

Marcus left the hall again, pressing the skin in his palm to stop the bleeding. Now he had become expendable.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Valen! It is Marcus! Neroon stared at his former lover in disbelief. Although the dark locks partly hid Marcus' face, the green eyes flashed through the strands of dark hair and he even noticed the bruising close to his jaw. When Shakiri had announced his intention to work together with the Rangers, he had been stunned, but finding that Delenn had sent Marcus to be Shakiri's mate had shocked him. He felt angry with her for using the Ranger like that. When Marcus had seduced him, the Ranger had acted on orders and now Delenn had given him to Shakiri.

 

Shakiri... Shakiri does not want a new mate. Sawa, his late wife only died two cycles ago and rumor has it that Shakiri had a hand in a her death. He will kill Marcus as well... Eventually.

 

"Father?" Nasdak hurried toward him. He hadn't witnessed the ceremony and didn't know the identity of Shakiri's new mate, but froze in his tracks, seeing Marcus leave the hall. "That is Marcus!"

 

"Yes, Delenn is scheming again..." Neroon watched Shakiri laugh at jokes at the expense of Marcus and signaled Nasdak to follow him. "We are leaving tomorrow. I do not want to stay."

 

"I understand. Seeing him upsets you." Nasdak followed his father to their quarters and wished Neroon hadn't fallen madly in love with Marcus.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Continued in Forgiveness.


	2. Forgiveness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sequel to Dangerous Liasons) (Warning, male pregnancy.) Eight months after Neroon watched Marcus become Shakiri's mate, he sees Marcus again. Nasdak finds a lost crystal containing the message in which Marcus confessed his love for Neroon. Seeing the bad state Marcus is in after living at Shakiri's home for eight months, Neroon acts on his feelings.

Eight months later.

 

Nasdak thoughtfully considered the crystal in his hand and knew he had to show it to his father. Battling a guilty conscience, he entered Neroon's rooms and waited for his father to address him.

"Nasdak? Yes?" Neroon looked up from the report he had been reading and smiled at his son. Nasdak was the only thing his late wife had left him. He had gotten married early in life, before the Earth-Minbari war had come about, and his wife had served on the Ingata as well. He had mourned her death for years. Nasdak had inherited her blue eyes and reminded him of the love they had once shared.

Nasdak nervously cleared his throat; dreading the outcome of this conversation. "Eight months ago I misplaced a data crystal that contained several calls. One of them was Marcus contacting Delenn. I almost forgot that call had taken place, but then a guard discovered the crystal and... I watched it. You should watch it as well."

 

Neroon frowned. "And why would I want to do that?" Marcus was now Shakiri's official mate and although the sting of betrayal had somewhat softened, it still hurt. Why was Nasdak reminding him of Marcus now?

 

"It contains a very important message, one I never saw before. We may have acted too quickly, judging Marcus too harshly." Nasdak placed the data crystal on Neroon's desk. "Please watch it, father, or you might regret it for the rest of your life."

 

Nasdak's agitated tone finally registered with Neroon. "I will watch it later." He gave in, trying to reassure his son. "Is there anything else?"

 

"Actually, yes there is." Nasdak shuffled his feet, but met Neroon's gaze head on. "There are rumors."

 

"Rumors?" Neroon placed the report on his desk, unable to concentrate any longer. "What kind of rumors?"

 

"About Marcus and Shakiri," said Nasdak, trying to gauge Neroon's mood. His father was hard to read at times.

 

Neroon's expression grew unreadable. "I do not wish to hear any 'rumors'." So far he had managed to keep away from news featuring Shakiri and Marcus. His heart still hadn't healed properly.

 

Nasdak drew in a deep breath. "Uyi, the leader of the Moon Shields, visited Shakiri two weeks ago and she caught a glance of Marcus..." Neroon glared at him, but he continued nonetheless. His father couldn't intimidate him. Neroon tried to appear authoritative and controlling, but he had never met a gentler man, even though Neroon seldom showed that quality in public. "She told me that Marcus appeared ill. His face was badly bruised, he was limping... and he was pregnant with Shakiri's child."

 

Neroon jumped to his feet. "What?" He knew that Shakiri's wife had died before she could bear him any children, but this news stunned him. "Pregnant?"

 

"Marcus is the only one who can carry his child. Marcus is Shakiri's official mate and although Shakiri hates Marcus, he needs the Ranger."

 

"Hates him?" Neroon turned away from Nasdak, not wanting his son to see his emotional turmoil.

 

"One of the guards told Uyi that Marcus was repeatedly beaten and exposed to verbal and emotional abuse. It seems that the only reason that Shakiri keeps Marcus alive is the promise of offspring. Shakiri wants a son to follow in his footsteps."

 

Shocked, Neroon shook his head. "This is Delenn's fault. This does not concern me. Marcus played me, he might be playing Shakiri as well."

 

Nasdak bowed his head. "Watch the data crystal, father. Just do it." He quietly left the room, knowing Neroon was waging an inner battle.

 

Neroon's eyes came to rest on the crystal. Nasdak had sounded extremely concerned and sincere. Maybe he should watch the crystal. He had no idea what was on it, but it had clearly shaken Nasdak.

 

After placing the data crystal in the player, he searched the index, accessing Marcus' message. His heart missed a beat, finding Marcus staring back at him. He had forgotten how gorgeous those green eyes were and how they deepened to the darkest blue just before climaxing. Pushing back those thoughts, he focused on Marcus' words.

 

"Alit Neroon treats me very well. He's the perfect host," said Marcus, looking very pleased. 

 

Neroon only heard Delenn's voice, as he didn't have a visual of her.

 

"That pleases me. Don't wait too long to contact me again, Marcus..." said Delenn, pleased.

 

So far Neroon had no idea why Nasdak felt it was important he watched this. He expected the conversation to come to an end, as Delenn was saying goodbye and he almost removed the crystal from the player, when Marcus' voice sounded again.

 

"Delenn?" said Marcus, "Something unexpected happened."

 

Neroon's heart suddenly leapt in anticipation. What unexpected thing had happened? And why did Marcus feel it was important enough to mention it to Delenn, knowing he wasn't on a secure line?

 

"Marcus?" Delenn sounded confused.

 

Although he didn't know why, Neroon held his breath. The expression in Marcus' eyes had turned gentle and caring.

 

"I'm in love with Neroon," said Marcus. "It started subtlety and at first I didn't realize it was happening. If you hadn't ordered me to seduce him I would have done so anyway. He's a gentle and kind man and he even gave me this."

 

Hearing those words shattered the little calm Neroon had left. Marcus was telling Delenn that he was in love with him! Marcus had been in love with him! Yes, he admitted to Delenn’s order to seduce him, but he had already known that. A gentle and kind man? And he is in love with me? Valen... Neroon's hands grew into fists, seeing Marcus uncover the necklace, which had symbolized Marcus' importance in his life.

 

"You put yourself in danger by admitting this," said Delenn, "You know Neroon monitors all calls."

 

Oh, yes, he did monitor all calls, but this one had slipped by! The most important message of all had never reached him! Why had they misplaced this particular data crystal?

 

"I know that. I'm fully aware of the risks I'm taking, but I can't lie anymore," said Marcus, "I'll tell him tomorrow."

 

Neroon flinched, hearing those words. This message had been recorded two days before he had found out about Marcus' 'assignment'. Why hadn't Marcus told him then? Why wait? Looking at Marcus on screen, the Ranger seemed determined to tell him the truth. What had happened? He thought back to those days when Marcus and he had still been together. There was this one night when he said he wanted to talk to me... I was annoyed and silenced him with a bruising kiss... It never came up again...

 

"Marcus, he won't easily forgive you." Delenn's voice trembled.

 

How right you are. I cannot forgive him, even if this is true... He came here with the intent to seduce me, use me.

 

"I deserve his anger, but I can't manipulate him any longer," said Marcus. "That never worked. Delenn? I think I have found the other half of my soul. We fit... perfectly."

 

Guilt began to claw at Neroon. The other half of your soul? Fit perfectly? Valen, what have I done? Why did I not give him those five minutes he asked for? Maybe things would have developed differently had I known how he really felt about me.

 

"I am very happy for you, Marcus," said Delenn, "Let me know how Neroon reacts when he finds out?"

 

"I will. Thank you, Delenn."

 

Neroon stared at the now black screen. Marcus had revealed his love for him to Delenn, knowing damn well that he was being monitored. It had been dangerous for Marcus to make this admission, Neroon could have called him on it, but the crystal had been lost... until now.

 

Valen, what do I do? What if he told Delenn the truth? What if he really fell in love with me? Should I have given him those five minutes? Was cutting him out of my life the right decision? It drove him into Shakiri's arms... Neroon sighed deeply. And Nasdak told me about these 'rumors' going around, stating that Shakiri is abusive toward Marcus... Knowing Shakiri, it is the true. His wife died under suspicious circumstances. Can I stay here and pretend I never watched that crystal? Or do I leave for Yedor and see for myself if those rumors are true? If Uyi was allowed to see Marcus, Shakiri will allow me that same privilege; he does not know Marcus was my lover once.

 

Restlessly, Neroon got to his feet and paced his rooms. His conscience wouldn't allow him to block out the message and the rumors, and he cringed, realizing he would go to Yedor to check on these rumors. But what was he going to do if they were true? Could he turn his back on Marcus, knowing the Ranger thought of him as the other half of his soul? Nasdak said Marcus is carrying Shakiri's child. I would not be surprised to learn that he plans on keeping Marcus alive until his child has been born and then lets him wither away. 

 

He accessed the comm system and contacted Nasdak. His son didn't seem surprised to hear from him. "Contact Shakiri. I want to talk to him, personally."

 

"Are you traveling to Yedor?"

 

"Yes, tell Shakiri I want to discuss clan matters with him. He does not need to know my real reason for visiting him." His hands shook and he clasped them behind his back, hiding his vulnerability as his guilt deepened.

 

"And the real reason is...?" Nasdak had a very good idea why Neroon suddenly wanted to talk to Shakiri.

 

"Marcus of course..." His son had made him say it! "I watched the crystal and..."

 

"You believe him."

 

"Maybe I do," admitted Neroon. "I have to talk to him and ask Marcus if he was being truthful."

 

"And you want to check on the rumors as well. Do not look at me like that. I know you, father. You cannot bear the thought of Marcus being subjected to such humiliation and abuse. I feel guilty myself. May I accompany you?"

 

Neroon considered the request. "Yes, you may. Now contact Shakiri, mask your feelings and hide our intensions well." He terminated the contact and walked over to his desk, opened a drawer and uncovered the necklace he had given Marcus. He had always kept it close...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon managed to conceal his unease as Shakiri welcomed him to his home. Trying to act casually, he took in the other man's appearance. Shakiri hadn't changed since their last meeting and Neroon deemed Shakiri perfectly capable of tormenting Marcus on purpose. The tricky part was to get Shakiri's permission to see Marcus. If he didn't get it, Nasdak and he would find a way to gain access to Marcus' quarters, even if that meant misleading people. "Shakiri, it has been too long since we talked about clan matters." He had to keep it formal as he didn't want Shakiri to grow suspicious.

 

"Neroon, it is true. We lost touch during these last few months. I was very pleased when your son contacted me and informed me of your visit."

 

Shakiri gestured him to sit down and Neroon seated himself in a comfortable chair in front of Shakiri's desk. "Tell me, what has happened since we last met eight months ago..." He paused just long enough to appear spontaneous when asking his next question. "How is your mate? The Ranger? Do you not yet regret your decision? I could not imagine having a human, an inferior human, as a mate..."

 

Shakiri sighed. "He is a burden. He never learned to obey orders. One would think that Rangers would excel at carrying out instructions. I had to teach him obedience."

 

"I heard he is also carrying your child?" Neroon's anger increased, hearing that Shakiri 'had to teach him obedience'. That was probably the reason why Marcus had been covered in bruises during Uyi's visit. He hoped that his words would reassure Shakiri that he shared the other man's views on humans.

 

"I did not have a choice in the matter!" Shakiri banged his fist into the desk. "It is humiliating to know that a human is carrying my child, but once my son is born I plan to dispose of the human."

 

Neroon thanked Valen that he had followed his instincts by coming here. "You will have him killed?"

 

"I will not need to actively end his life," hinted Shakiri. "The pregnancy has worn him down. I doubt he will live much longer after the child is born."

 

I have to act quickly! Time might be running out for Marcus! "He must be a truly pathetic sight," said Neroon, "A pity that he is not here." He demonstratively looked about.

 

"You may visit him." Shakiri leaned back in his chair. "You want to gloat? I do so regularly. He is staying at the old wing, where my wife used to live."

 

Neroon bowed his head and smirked, trying to convince Shakiri that he was merely visiting Marcus in order to gloat at the Ranger's misery. "I am honored..."

 

Shakiri laughed. "And now let us eat and drink! Will Nasdak join us today?"

 

"He is taking care of some personal matters, but he will join us for dinner." Privately Neroon couldn't wait to leave these quarters and see for himself what kind of state Marcus was in. What would he do if Marcus really was in such a bad way? Marcus was Shakiri's official mate and there was only one way to do away with the threat the caste leader posed; challenge Shakiri to Denn'Sha, end his life, and then take Shakiri's place as caste leader. He would automatically 'inherit' Shakiri's mate. And Shakiri's child! Neroon didn't know what to do about that little complication... Not yet anyway.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"I have Shakiri's permission to see Marcus." Neroon entered his temporary quarters, which he shared with Nasdak. Looking at his son, he caught Nasdak's dark expression. "What upset you?"

 

Nasdak nearly hissed his answer. "I spoke to one of the guards. They keep Marcus in a drugged state so he does not bother them. It is very likely that he won't even recognize us when we visit him in his rooms."

 

"They keep him sedated?" Neroon frowned. "We need to act now. We no longer have the luxury of waiting for the right opportunity to come along. We will leave now."

 

Nasdak nodded once, completely agreeing with his father. "I know where we can find him. The guard I talked to, Kaleen, will even leave us alone with Marcus for a few minutes. But we must be careful; another guard named Sallis is personally responsible for Marcus and we cannot let him grow suspicious."

 

"Should they find out our real motives for coming here we will find ourselves in problems," agreed Neroon, "That is why we have to act now." 

 

Not wasting any more time, he headed for the doorway. Nasdak followed him and together they left for Marcus' rooms.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon couldn't remember a time when he had been this nervous! After watching the crystal, he had started to regret not giving Marcus a chance to explain his actions. That guilt ate at him and it even affected Nasdak. He had seldom seen his son this distraught; Nasdak probably blamed himself for judging Marcus too quickly and keeping the Ranger away from him. But feeling guilty wouldn't get them anywhere!

 

"We’ve arrived," said Nasdak. "I will get Kaleen and make sure it is safe for us to continue."

 

Neroon let his son scout ahead, too busy dealing with his own feelings. He had to get a hold on them. If Marcus was really in such a poor state, he had to get the Ranger into safety.

 

"Father, Sallis is not here. We can proceed."

 

An elderly warrior greeted them. "Alit Neroon, my name is Kaleen. Do not stay too long. Sallis is due to return in a few moments."

 

"I understand," said Neroon. "We will keep this visit short." His heart pounded, stepping into the spartanly furnished rooms. "Valen..." He swallowed hard and his face contorted, seeing the helpless Ranger strapped to the platform. "I barely recognize him."

 

Marcus' hair had grown long, but his beard and moustache had been removed. The bruising was only now starting to fade and the handsome face looked ghostly white. The Ranger was hooked up two IV's and one feeding tube. He lay motionless and Neroon had to strain to see Marcus' chest rise and fall. His eyes nearly popped from their sockets, seeing Marcus' growing belly. It was true then; Marcus was carrying Shakiri's child, a son, accordingly to the caste leader. All weight seemed concentrated around his belly, like the child was sucking the life out of him. "He looks..." Words failed him.

 

"I know what you are trying to say. The words elude me too." Nasdak stepped back, letting his father walk over to the platform.

 

Neroon studied the Ranger closely. "He is dying... It is only a matter of weeks, maybe even days." He was at a loss for words to describe the feelings coursing through him. Was this his doing? Had he driven Marcus into Shakiri's arms? "Does he really love me?"

 

"I cannot answer that question," said Nasdak, "but I do think he cares about you. If his words on the crystal are true, he loves you."

 

"Nasdak, we have to do something. I cannot let this continue. If I do not stop Shakiri, Marcus will be dead within the month."

 

"What are your plans? Shakiri is caste leader and Marcus his mate. Are your hands not bound?" Nasdak managed to hide his fear that the Ranger might die before they had a chance to think of a plan. "Marcus does not have much time left and I doubt Shakiri will listen to reason."

 

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Neroon raised a hand and placed its palm on Marcus' brow. He hissed, surprised how cold Marcus was. "Is there not some kind of blanket?"

 

"Father, we cannot help him. Sallis would wonder about the blanket." Nasdak hated pointing this out to his father. "How do you want to proceed from here?"

 

Neroon was surprised to find that he actually liked the cleanly shaven face better than all that facial hair. Although Marcus looked even younger, his jaw line was more pronounced now, emphasizing his strong features. "How do I want to proceed from here?" Tonight was a formal dinner, which all five clan leaders were attending. He would make his move then. If Shakiri didn't agree to treat Marcus respectfully, he would challenge the caste leader to Denn'Sha. He would instruct Nasdak later on what to do should he die during the challenge.

 

"Father, we had better go now. Sallis will be back any moment now and we cannot allow him to find us here." Neroon's emotions were all over his face. Sallis would realize the truth at once.

 

"You are right," said Neroon. "We will leave now and act later." He waited for Nasdak to leave the room and then gently stroked Marcus' icy brow. "I failed you once, I refuse to fail you again. I will take you home with me or die trying..." After making his promise to a strongly sedated Marcus, he turned around and followed Nasdak back to their quarters.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon was still brooding when he joined Shakiri and the other clan leaders for dinner. He would make his move tonight. He had instructed Nasdak of his wishes should he die during the challenge. Looking about, he tried to gauge the clan leaders' mood. Would they back him up or support Shakiri?

 

Uyi, the leader of the Moon Shields was probably on his side. She had expressed her concern about the way Shakiri was treating his new mate and she had been the one who had talked to Nasdak, informing him of Marcus' bruises. His gaze traveled to Barin, the leader of the Night Walkers. The elderly Minbari warrior was an excellent tactician and would probably agree with Neroon's views. But what about Zoun, the lead of the Fire Wings? Shakiri and Zoun had been friends for most of their lives. He needed at least three of them to back him up! Weyr, the leader of the Wind Swords, didn't really get along with his clansman Shakiri, but Neroon doubted Weyr would favor him over his own clansman. Did he have a choice? No.

 

Nasdak had taken up position at Marcus' quarters and had taken Neroon's personal guards with him. If everything went according to plan, Nasdak would free Marcus and take the Ranger to their home, getting him away from Shakiri. Now he had to make his first move. "I visited your mate," said Neroon. "He was in a poor state." Trying to read the expressions on the clan leaders' faces, he definitely noticed Uyi's approval of him bringing up the matter.

 

Shakiri froze. Neroon's remark obviously puzzled him. "A poor state?"

 

Neroon's eyes grew hard, unyielding. "Keeping him sedated is not acceptable. You are not treating him according to custom. What do you think will happen when the Rangers learn of the way you are mistreating him?"

 

"He did not tell them," said Uyi. "No one is allowed to contact the human." She nodded her head once. "I agree with Neroon. This will destroy the treaty we so carefully built."

 

Zoun remained silent, watching Neroon, but Weyr's angry voice echoed through the old hall. "Our clan is displeased as well. Your behavior is dishonorable."

 

Neroon grinned privately. He hadn't counted on them to openly agree with him! Zoun didn't look too happy and Barin was still analyzing this new situation. "This cannot continue," said Neroon. "You need to make some changes after your son is born."

 

Shakiri pushed his plate away from him. "My healers assured me he won't survive the birth."

 

The healers had to perform surgery on Marcus to deliver the baby and in case of danger, they would do anything to save the child's life, even if it cost Marcus' life. Valen, if I do not act now Marcus will be dead within the month! Neroon made eye-contact with Uyi and Weyr, surprised that the Wind Sword was agreeing with him. He once more addressed Shakiri.

 

"You do realize that the Rangers will break the contact, proclaiming you did not honor it and they would be speaking the truth. Our people need this truce, their support. The Rangers strengthen our defenses, protect our people from the Raiders. Do you want to risk it all because you cannot stand the human's presence? Honoring the contract is in the best interest of our people."

 

Shakiri got to his feet, trying to look regal and in command. "Are you questioning my ability to lead the caste, Neroon?"

 

The tension in the room was palpable. Neroon met Uyi's eyes and she closed them once, so did Weyr and Barin. The clan leaders backed him up. Zoun decided to stay neutral, not getting involved in the conflict. Neroon pushed back his chair and got to his feet, uncovering his pike. There was only one way to claim caste leadership, by battle. "As is custom within our caste, I challenge you to Denn'Sha. The Warrior Caste needs proper leadership. We cannot afford to lose this alliance because of your hate for humans."

 

Shakiri exchanged a look with his personal guards. Now that the challenge had been spoken, they were no longer allowed to interfere. He had to fight Neroon himself. "I am not giving up my position." Shakiri uncovered his pike as well and extended it. "To the death..."

 

"I would rather not kill you," said Neroon, "Minbari do not kill Minbari, but I will respect your wish. To the death." He had four witnesses who had heard Shakiri's demand. Opening his pike as well, he moved away from the dinner table to create some distance between him and Shakiri. Reaching inside his pocket, he pressed a button, giving Nasdak a sign to move in and secure the Ranger.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nasdak signaled his men to move down the corridors and climb the stairs. Their plan was fairly simple; disarm and disable Shakiri's men and then take Marcus to Neroon's personal flyer where a healer was waiting to take care of him. Once Neroon had joined them, they would leave for home. And if Neroon does not join us, I will honor my father's wishes and look after Marcus myself.

 

His men moved in. Nasdak immediately noticed that several of Shakiri's guards were putting up a fight, trying to keep them from reaching Marcus. Sallis fought ruthlessly, injuring two of his men. Nasdak moved at once, fighting Sallis himself. "Gahen, secure Marcus!" His second in command reacted at once and headed for the platform. The fighting continued. Shakiri's guards refused to back down and Nasdak watched Gahen carry Marcus to the doorway. The Ranger was sedated, unconscious and couldn't take care of himself. "Gahen! Leave!"

 

"Nasdak, look out!" Gahen warned him, but Nasdak didn't see the blow coming.

 

Sallis' pike impacted against his back, catapulting him toward Gahen and Marcus. Eyes widening, he realized he was going to crash in to them. Horrified, he stared at Marcus as the impact knocked the Ranger from Gahen's protective hold, causing him to tumble down the long stair case.

 

"Valen, help him!" Shocked, Nasdak stared at Marcus' lips, which were turning red; blood dripped onto the robes he was wearing. "Deal with Sallis," said Nasdak, instructing his men, "And get a healer in here!" They couldn't move Marcus until they knew the extent of his injuries. But his insides contracted, fearing the worst. Marcus was bleeding internally and in danger of suffering a miscarriage.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The clan leaders had risen from their seats, monitoring the duel closely. Neroon felt their eyes in his back and straightened his shoulders. He had to win this challenge; losing meant certain death for him and Marcus. Launching a classic attack, he aimed at Shakiri's feet, trying to catch his opponent off balance. But Shakiri realized his tactic and moved away. Neroon chased Shakiri through the room, occasionally managing to land a blow on the other man's head. "Surrender!"

 

"Never!" Shakiri now attacked himself, and landed a forceful blow against Neroon's right temple. A victorious grin appeared on his face, tasting victory.

 

Neroon gathered his strength, and recalled the evasive moves Marcus had shown him during the Ranger's stay at his home. Executing them, he saw Shakiri's surprise. Mimicking Marcus' tactic, he managed to disarm Shakiri. The other man's pike flew through the air and hit the floor with a loud thud. "Surrender!" Neroon quickly moved into position, swept Shakiri's feet away from beneath him and aimed the butt end of his pike at his fallen opponent. Rage burned in Shakiri's dark eyes; Neroon nodded his head. "You lost, renounce your position."

 

"No, never!" Acting out of pure desperation, Shakiri lunched forward, grabbing Neroon's legs.

 

Cursing Shakiri's action, Neroon lost balance and he tried to support himself by leaning on his pike, but the pike moved and slipped.

 

Shakiri's roar cut through the old hall. "No!"

 

Stunned, Neroon stared at Shakiri's chest. His pike had buried itself in the other man's flesh, penetrating Shakiri's heart. "Valen, taking your life never was my intention." He had known one of them could die, but he hadn't set out to kill Shakiri cold-heartedly.

 

Uyi and Barin moved toward them. Uyi knelt beside Shakiri, holding his stare will the dying man released his last breath. The injury was too severe and help was already too late.

 

Neroon sought out Shakiri's eyes. "It was an accident."

 

Shakiri was no longer able to reply; his fists released its tension and they opened, palm upward. Shakiri, caste leader, was no more.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nasdak ignored Sallis and let his men deal with Shakiri's guards. Followed by Gahen, he descended the stairs. Kneeling by Marcus' form, he glared at Gahen. "Marcus needs a healer! Get one!" Once they knew how badly Marcus was injured, they might be able to transport the Ranger. Should he sent Neroon a message? No, not yet. His father was probably still fighting Shakiri. He didn't know if the other clan leaders supported his father. If they didn't, they would apprehend Neroon and take him to the High Court. My father entrusted Marcus to me, I cannot fail them now.

 

He cradled Marcus' head in his lap, gently stroking the long locks. I regret acting too quickly and I will try to make up for my past mistakes.

 

"Nasdak, I found a healer!" Gahen ran down the corridor, dragging a young healer behind him. "This is Jalai, a healer."

 

Nasdak grabbed Jalai and pulled him down. "Examine him, and if he is fit for transport take him to the medical facility."

 

Jalai, who had been surprised when Nasdak had grabbed him, now realized why they needed him. He had heard rumors of the human Ranger, but hadn't been part of the elite group of healers whom Shakiri had entrusted with Marcus' pregnancy. Jalai sucked in his breath as his hands examined Marcus' abdomen. "I can no longer feel the child move about. The fall might have killed the fetus. Whether he is fit for transport or not is no longer important. The child has died and if we do not act quickly, the Ranger will die as well."

 

Nasdak and Gahen gently pulled Marcus to his feet and together they carried the Ranger to the medical facility, following Jalai and hoping they still had a chance to save Marcus' life.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon looked up from Shakiri's corpse and met Barin's eyes. The old Minbari was well revered and his reaction would determine if the others continued to support him or not. "Barin, I do not wish to be caste leader, I merely wanted Shakiri to treat his mate respectfully."

 

"But our caste is now without a leader," said Barin. "The four of us will confer and we will let you know if you are acceptable as new caste leader. If not, one of us will take Shakiri's place."

 

Neroon nodded once. "I understand, Barin, and I will accept your decision."

 

"Leave us now. We will also tend to Shakiri's body." Uyi tried to sound reassuring.

 

Neroon headed for the doorway, wondering about his feelings. Right now, he felt empty, but then Nasdak appeared, running toward him. His instincts kicked in and he realized something was terribly wrong. "Nasdak!"

 

"It is Marcus, father. During our rescue attempt he fell down the stairs and... The healer thinks that the fall killed the child. They are now operating on Marcus, trying to save his life."

 

"Where is he?" The shock was too big and too unexpected to register properly. Neroon acted on automatic pilot; his feelings still had to kick in again.

 

"In the medical facility. He was not stable enough to transport to our home."

 

"Take me to him. I need to see him now." Neroon followed his son; setting aside the way he felt about Shakiri's death. The other man had deserved to be punished for treating Marcus like that, but Minbari did not kill Minbari! Now the hand of fate had guided his pike, ending Shakiri's life. Pushing back all thoughts about the now existing void in leadership, he rushed through the corridors, desperate to find out if Marcus was going to live.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Why are they not working on him?" Surprised, Neroon noticed the large group of healers who stood in the waiting area. "Nasdak, find out what is going on."

 

Neroon resolutely marched toward the operating theatre and glanced inside through a window. His own trusted healer, Valorum, was working on Marcus, assisted by a young healer who he didn't know. Unwilling to disturb them, he watched silently from behind the glass. Marcus' abdomen had been opened and he cringed, seeing the amount of blood Marcus was losing.

 

"What did you find out?" Neroon looked at his son, when Nasdak joined him, and he immediately noticed the cold rage in his eyes.

 

"They refuse to help him because Shakiri told them to save the child at any cost. They believe the child could have been saved, but that Valorum and Jalai sacrificed the child to save Marcus' life."

 

Neroon frowned. "You told me the child had died."

 

"Accoring to Jalai and Valorum the child is dead, but Shakiri's healers fear his wrath."

 

"Shakiri is dead," said Neroon, informing his son. "He died during Denn'Sha and the other clan leaders are now choosing a new caste leader. Marcus is safe now and he has to survive! I cannot believe they are willing to let him die!"

 

"He is human, father," said Nasdak softly. "They do not care whether he lives or dies now that he suffered a miscarriage."

 

"And they call themselves healers?" snarled Neroon. "Healers? If it were not for Valorum and this young healer Marcus would be dead by now!"

 

"His name is Jalai. He does not seem prejudiced and is more than willing to assist Valorum," said Nasdak. "Jalai also told me that Marcus won't be well enough for transport for some time."

 

"Then we must stay longer." Neroon nervously licked his lips. Valorum was closing the wound; surgery was almost over. "Go to Uyi and explain Marcus' condition to her."

 

Nasdak nodded once and then turned about to leave, but he didn't. "Father? Any word on Marcus yet?"

 

"No, but here comes Valorum." Neroon watched the healer's face closely and read worry in Valorum's eyes. "How bad is he?"

 

Valorum sighed. "Bad. We removed the fetus. Jalai was right; the child did not survive the fall. Marcus was bleeding internally and he suffered a ruptured spleen, which we removed. In addition, he suffered two bruised ribs and a bruised wrist. We feared he had also suffered a concussion, but we did not find any evidence to support that theory. He is stable now, but I suggest you wait another twelve hours before moving him."

 

"That is merely his physical state," said Neroon, worried. "What about his mental state?"

 

"I cannot answer that question, Alit." Valorum moved a little closer to his old friend. "He lost a child. We are men, we are not meant to carry new life inside us. I do not know how he will react when he finds out the truth. He should be monitored closely, twenty-four hours a day. We cannot take any risks."

 

"And once he recovered sufficiently, I will take him to my home." Marcus would feel more at home there, where the memory of Shakiri didn't haunt the Ranger. "I will return shortly. Take good care of him." Valorum nodded and Neroon signaled Nasdak to wait. Now that his son knew Marcus would survive, the young Minbari was on his way to see Uyi. "Wait for me. I will join you. I need to talk to Uyi and Barin."

 

Nasdak waited for his father to join him and together they made their way to the conference rooms where the clan leaders were deciding who would be the next caste leader.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Neroon, Nasdak, please join us." Uyi smiled and gestured them to step inside.

 

Nasdak stayed one step behind his father and followed Neroon inside. They came to a halt in front of the four clan leaders.

 

Neroon quickly scanned their faces, trying to gauge their mood. "Marcus was injured and is currently in the medical facility. Shakiri's healers refuse to treat him, so I called on my personal physician Valorum and he operated on the Ranger. Marcus is stable now, but needs rest." He didn't know if they cared about Marcus' well-being, but he wanted them to know how close the Ranger had come to dying.

 

"We regret that he lost the child. Children are sacred to us now that the number of Minbari is declining, but we are relieved to hear that the Ranger is recovering."

 

The fact that Barin was taking control didn't surprise Neroon. He reckoned the old tactician had assumed temporary leadership and Barin would decide his fate. "I ordered Valorum to inform me should the Ranger's condition deteriorate."

 

Barin nodded once. "We made our decision."

 

Neroon tensed; unable to read Barin's facial expression. "When I told you that I did not desire leading the Warrior Caste I was being truthful. When I traveled to Babylon 5 to stop Delenn from becoming Ranger One, I learned a valuable lesson. I thought Delenn was a religious zealot, but it was I who was obsessed. I no longer have the ambition or the desire to attain such a powerful position." He was content being the leader of the Star Riders. Uyi would make the best caste leader; she was compassionate and wise and the clans would accept her without objection.

 

An approving smile appeared on Barin's face. "And that is exactly why we chose you to succeed Shakiri."

 

Barin's revelation stunned Neroon and he quickly exchanged a glance with Nasdak. "What?"

 

"You will succeed Shakiri. You challenged and defeated him," said Barin. "You granted him his life and had it not been for that most unfortunate accident Shakiri would still be alive. You do not wish to be caste leader; you let go of that ambition. You are the right man to lead the caste." Barin rose to his feet, supporting his old bones by leaning against the wall. "We will inform our clansmen of Shakiri's passing and that you will take his place. I advise you to stay here; we will need to confer with you. We also looked at the contract that binds the Warrior Caste and the Rangers."

 

Neroon saw the sudden gleam in Barin's eyes and grew cautious.

 

"Marcus was Shakiri's mate because Shakiri was caste leader. Now that you are taking his place, Marcus will be your official mate." Barin nodded his head once. "You seem to care about his well-being and you will treat him according to custom. We will officially proclaim you new caste leader in twenty-four hours. Until then, I suggest you ponder this new development. You are restricted in your movements until the proclamation; do not leave this residence. The caste needs to know it can count on its new leader."

 

Neroon was shocked; he didn't want this promotion! He hadn't helped Marcus for personal gain! He had helped the Ranger because he cared for him and now Marcus was his official mate. He grew enraged. This contract was a monstrosity!

 

"I want to view the contract." He would contact Delenn later and tell her what he thought of her manipulations! It was unheard of that Marcus was handed to the next caste leader because a contract stated so. But in this case, he could use the contract's stipulations to his advantage; they allowed him to take care of Marcus, to be near him. Looking Barin in the eyes, Neroon tried to remain calm. "I accept your decision, but do not think it is wise."

 

"Who would be more suited as caste leader?" asked Weyr curiously. "Name one."

 

"Uyi," said Neroon, "she would lead the caste wisely."

 

Uyi smiled and shook her head. "My place is with my clan. Neroon, I am growing old, I witnessed your birth and in time I realized your leadership potential. Do not underestimate your abilities. You are more capable of leading the caste than I ever was. Accept your rightful place. You acted honorably when you challenged Shakiri, you fought him well and you earned the right to be the new caste leader. You could do so much good for our people. Do not throw this opportunity to the wind."

 

Neroon gave up now that they were teaming up against him. "I will do my best."

 

"Good," said Barin. "You may leave now. I am sure you have personal matters to attend to and you might want to consider visiting the Ranger; it would strengthen the bond between the Rangers and our caste."

 

Neroon bowed his head and so did Nasdak. The two Minbari left the hall and stared at each other. Nasdak didn't know what to say. Congratulating his father didn't seem right as Neroon appeared displeased. "What will you do now, father?"

 

"Accept," sighed Neroon. "I cannot allow another to take the place of caste leader and take Marcus as his new mate. Marcus and I have unfinished business."

 

Nasdak grinned. "Not to mention that you love him..."

 

Neroon glared at his son.

 

"And he loves you back, remember?"

 

"I wish I could be completely sure," revealed Neroon, "but the seeds of doubt are still inside my soul. What if that call to Delenn was a mere tactic, and he counted on me to listen in and admire his 'honesty', which would conveniently convince me that he truly loved me."

 

Nasdak shook his head in disbelief. "I sometimes think you spent too much time talking to Shakiri and the other clan leaders. Did you become paranoid? Marcus sounded sincere when I listened to his message and he tried to talk to you when we found him out. He seemed driven to explain everything to you. Delenn might have ordered him to seduce you, but I believe that his feelings deepened during those weeks."

 

Neroon cocked his head. "I wish I could believe that."

 

"You should talk to Marcus and find out." Nasdak started walking toward the medical facility, knowing his father would eventually follow. "Talk to him."

 

Neroon felt tempted to follow Nasdak's advice, but still felt hesitant. He didn't want to be manipulated again, but talking to Marcus would do little harm so he gave in. Nasdak stayed in the corridor and Neroon stepped into the exam room in which Marcus was asleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Valorum? Can I sit with him?" Neroon's tone was soft and gentle, mindful of the fact that Marcus needed his sleep.

 

"Yes, you may, but do not try to wake him. I had to administer him certain meds to take away his pain. Wake him up now and they lose their effectiveness. Let him heal in his sleep."

 

"I have no intention of waking him," said Neroon. "I merely wish to sit with him and watch Marcus."

 

"That is acceptable." Valorum adjusted the two IV's Marcus was hooked up to and injected fluids, which the Ranger badly needed. "He is malnourished."

 

"That surprises me." Neroon frowned. "I thought Shakiri wanted his child to live."

 

"The child was well taken care of. The feeding tube took care of that, but most nutrients strengthened the child and not Marcus."

 

Neroon pulled up a chair and sat down. Marcus' face was only a few inches away and he caught the trembling of the Ranger's eyelids. "Is he waking up? Did I speak too loudly?"

 

"He is fighting his way back to consciousness," said Valorum, "But you are not to blame for him waking up. He has been having nightmares since he arrived. He even called out your name several times."

 

Surprised, Neroon studied the Ranger. "My name?"

 

"Yes, he was pleading with you. I was not able to make any sense of his ramblings, because Shakiri haunts his dreams as well and then he starts raving."

 

"Is there anything I can do?" Neroon raised his right hand and rested its palm on Marcus' brow, staying clear of the fading bruises.

 

"Your presence seems to soothe him," observed Valorum. "Stay, talk to him, maybe the sound of your voice will ensure a peaceful sleep."

 

Neroon nodded his head and Valorum left the room, giving them some privacy. Neroon inclined his head and closely studied the pale face. Yes, he liked the beardless face, but he would gladly have Marcus with the facial hair as well. Both had their charms. "Marcus? I am sorry I never gave you those five minutes. If I had listened to my heart instead of my head I would have talked to you. I let my pride get in the way. You were not acting, were you? Do you love me? For I love you..."

 

Marcus stirred and Neroon privately cursed talking aloud. "I am sorry, you should be resting." But the doubts never left him. Did Marcus really love him? Stroking the sweaty brow, he recalled the first time they had made love. Back then, Marcus had told him that he had never had a male lover before, but the Ranger had accepted him.

 

"Ne...roon?" Marcus stirred again, shifted in the bed and released a pain-filled moan.

 

"Yes, I am here." Neroon leaned in closer and checked the latest readings. Marcus was still asleep, maybe even dreaming, but the Ranger had no idea he was really here. "You are safe now. I am here with you and I will keep you safe."

 

A weak smile settled on Marcus' features. "Ne...roon..." His eyes remained closed and his deep and regular breathing confirmed that he was still asleep.

 

Neroon's throat constricted. "Marcus, I regret the fact that Shakiri..." Marcus began to trash at the mention of that name and Neroon acted quickly, afraid the Ranger might pull out the IV's. "Marcus, it is I, Neroon. You are safe, believe me, you are safe." As he stroked the now burning brow, Marcus calmed down. Valorum appeared in the doorway and ran a quick check on the Ranger.

 

Neroon used that time to mumble reassurances. "I will keep you safe, Marcus. I will give you a chance to explain yourself. I won't turn my back on you again." He held his breath as Marcus' eyes flashed open. The amount of hurt and anguish in them made him cringe. What had Marcus been subjected to these last eight months?

 

"I will give him something to make sure he goes back to sleep," said Valorum. "Continue to talk to him, Neroon."

 

Marcus' green eyes kept him prisoner and Neroon swallowed hard. He wasn't even sure if Marcus was coherent or not. Was the Ranger awake enough to understand him? "Marcus, you are safe, you are with me now." He desperately searched for other ways to reassure Marcus, but didn't find any. "You are safe."

 

"Ne...roon?" Marcus blinked and the sedative began to move through his blood stream. "Nice... dream..."

 

"It is not a dream," said Neroon firmly. "I am here with you." Eventually, he gently took hold of Marcus' right hand, the one without the IV's, and rubbed the hot skin. Marcus had developed a fever, which was not a good sign, considering his weakened state. "This is real."

 

Marcus' smile suddenly faded and his breathing quickened. He tried to push himself into an upright position, but failed as his strength had deserted him. "I need... need to tell... tell you..."

 

"Marcus, you need rest." Neroon did his best to calm the injured Ranger. "We can talk later, once you are feeling better."

 

"No... no! This is my only chance! I... I...I love... love you! I really... do. Love... love you... I love...you..." Making this admission sapped the last of his strength and his eyes closed, succumbing to unconsciousness.

 

Neroon's eyes swam with unshed tears, hearing Marcus' words. Any doubts he might have had were gone now. Marcus was in no shape to lie, to pretend. The Ranger hadn't counted on ever seeing him again and that explained his pleading tone. "Valen may help me, but I believe you." Bowing forward, he placed a single, chaste kiss on Marcus' brow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nasdak, who had been watching from behind the window, smiled.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon spent the next twenty-four hours alternating between his quarters and the medical facility. Now that the clan leaders had made their decision, he had to prepare for the ceremony. Whenever he got too edgy, he left to see Marcus and sit with him. Valorum had shown him the incision on the Ranger's abdomen, the bruised ribs and wrist and had talked to him to reassure him. Physically, Marcus would heal, but what about the Ranger's emotional state?

 

"Neroon," said Valorum, "do you wish to see the dead fetus?"

 

Caught by surprise, Neroon stared at Marcus. "I do not know..."

 

"Shakiri's healers will take the child away at sunset and maybe Marcus will want to know what his son looked like. If you do not look at the child you won't be able to tell him."

 

Neroon left his chair and joined Valorum. "Let us get this over with." He followed the healer to a secluded room at the back of the medical facility. Two of Shakiri's healers were already embalming the dead body. They stepped aside to let him pass and Neroon's glance hardened, looking at the little corpse. There was no sign that Shakiri had allowed the Ranger's DNA to affect the child's appearance. The dead child was a copy of Shakiri. "I have seen enough."

 

Valorum nodded once and guided Neroon back into the corridor. "According to the contract Marcus has no rights to decide what will happen with the body so Shakiri's healers stepped in."

 

"They can have the child," spat Neroon. "Shakiri only used his own DNA when creating it. There is nothing of Marcus in there. I want to sit with the Ranger a little longer."

 

"Of course, Neroon." Valorum watched Neroon head for Marcus' room and rubbed his brow. Neroon was too concerned for Marcus' well-being. Could it be the rumor that Neroon was in love with Marcus was true?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Father, they are expecting you. The ceremony is about to take place." Nasdak joined his father at Marcus' bedside. "I can sit with him while you are gone." Then he would miss the ceremony, but he knew how much Marcus meant to his father.

 

"Thank you, my son. Sit with him until I return." Neroon got to his feet and straightened out his uniform. "The ceremony is merely a formality and will only take one hour."

 

Nasdak could tell that his father wasn't looking forward to attending the ceremony. "You never expected to become the next caste leader when you challenged Shakiri?" Knowing his father's scheming, he found that hard to believe.

 

Neroon shook his head. "I did not. I only acted to secure Marcus' safety. I was not thinking rationally."

 

Nasdak's eyes widened. "That is honest."

 

"It is the truth. Now stay here and watch him closely. I do not trust Shakiri's healers. They feel personally responsible for losing the child, and even though Shakiri is not alive any longer, they may act foolishly."

 

"Marcus is safe with me," promised Nasdak. "Now do not keep them waiting."

 

Neroon nodded once and headed for the great hall.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

One by one, the clan leaders swore him allegiance and Neroon discovered that Nasdak had been named the new leader of the Star Riders now that the position had become vacant by him accepting caste leadership. His son wasn't present and would swear the required oath later. As Neroon's eyes scanned the crowd several warriors seemed to look relieved, even pleased. After the ceremony he turned to Barin. The old Minbari looked smugly pleased as well. Neroon finally voiced his thoughts. "No one seems to mourn Shakiri's passing."

 

"Why should they?" Barin met Neroon's eyes. "Shakiri was a harsh man and a leader without compassion. Most clans wished Shakiri would meet with an accident and then you came along and challenged Shakiri because of his dishonorable behavior. Most of them wish you had done so cycles ago. They lacked the courage to stand up to Shakiri, you found that courage. They admire you for that and they are hoping for better times."

 

Neroon found himself in a most peculiar situation. He had set out to save Marcus and now he was the leader of the Warrior Caste as well.

 

I should probably contact Delenn shortly and let her know what has happened. I will also tell her that Marcus is mine and that the text of the contract will be changed. Marcus will not be bound to the caste leader, but to me! I won't run the risk of losing him should someone challenge me and become the new caste leader. Marcus is mine!

 

"What will you do now?" inquired Barin. "Stay here or move back to your residence? Shakiri's home is yours now. It became yours when he died."

 

"I won't stay here. The place holds too many unpleasant memories for my new mate. I will take Marcus to my home where he can recover." Neroon suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to sit with Marcus and he started to excuse himself, but Barin interrupted him.

 

"You care for the Ranger," said Barin. "We approve of that. We discussed this arrangement while we decided whether or not to name you Shakiri's successor. The fact that you already care for Marcus weighed heavily in your advantage. Take good care of him. To my knowledge he never showed any dishonorable behavior and he deserves to be treated respectfully."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "It is true. I do care for him and I would like to check on him now."

 

"Then go, join your mate and prepare for your trip home. Uyi, Zoun. Weyr and I will be in constant contact with you. You will also need to instruct Nasdak in his new duties as clan leader."

 

"I will take care of everything," promised Neroon. "May I be excused now?"

 

Barin smiled contently. "Yes."

 

Neroon quickly turned around and headed for the medical facility.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"You will be pleased to learn that Marcus is fit for transport," said Valorum, "Provided that it is a smooth trip and does not last longer than one hour."

 

Neroon nodded once. "Flying Marcus home will take less than one hour. Prepare him for transport." Looking at Marcus' haggard face, he blamed himself for not interfering sooner. Even despite his anger he should have made sure Shakiri was sticking to the contract. His hurt pride had kept him from doing that.

 

"Father?" Nasdak approached Neroon. "Is it true? Valorum told me that I am the new clan leader of the Star Riders."

 

"He told you the truth. I will tell you about your duties we are back home." Neroon looked at Nasdak, pride shining from his eyes. "You will make an excellent clan leader."

 

"Thank you." Nasdak fought his nervousness. "I will contact one of our flyers and it can take Marcus home. Are you staying or will you join us?"

 

"I will stay close to Marcus. I am accompanying you." Neroon's fingers itched to make contact with Marcus' skin and he did. "Has he regained consciousness since that one time?"

 

"No," said Valorum, "The medication is keeping him under. He will stay asleep until we have him settled down at home."

 

Neroon sighed. "I want to do this now. Nasdak, contact the flyer. Valorum, we will prepare Marcus for transport." A young Minbari healer stepped up to him and Neroon studied Jalai closely. "What do you want?"

 

"I want to accompany you. Yes, I am a Wind Sword, but I find Shakiri's action despicable. None of the healers wanted to help Marcus and I... I do not want to stay here. May I continue to care for Marcus?"

 

Neroon considered the request. Valorum could use an assistant and although the healers at his home were preparing for Marcus' arrival, they didn't know about the nature of his injuries, Jalai did. "Yes, you may join us. Now give me a moment alone with Marcus."

 

Valorum, Nasdak and Jalai left the room and Neroon sat down on the side of the rigged platform. "We are going home, Marcus, home. And this time I won't let you go again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"How is he doing?" Neroon personally supervised Marcus' transport. Carrying out his wishes, his servants had made a comfortable bed in Marcus' former quarters. They had taken a soft mattress and tucked pillows around the edge. Lying on a hard platform would only increase Marcus' discomfort while his ribs were healing.

 

"He never noticed he was being moved," said Valorum pleased, "but he should not be moved again."

 

Nasdak and Jalai gently lowered Marcus on to the center of the mattress and Jalai proceeded to cover the Ranger with warm blankets. "Marcus should be comfortable like this," said Jalai, "Do we take turns sitting with him or...?"

 

Valorum nodded his head. "Yes, that would be wise. We need to sleep as well. I will stay with him for the next few hours. Get some rest, young Jalai."

 

Jalai left, and Neroon turned to Nasdak. "I want to have a word with Valorum in private and I want you to contact Delenn. I will talk to her soon. Tell her what happened, but don't answer her questions."

 

Nasdak bowed and left as well. Neroon and Valorum exchanged concerned looks. "Tell me," started Neroon, "what must I expect during the next few days?"

 

"Marcus has not yet realized that he lost his child. Once that happens he might suffer shock. It is important that we reassure him, make him feel safe and wanted."

 

Valorum's words made sense to Neroon. "I want to sit with him as well. Work me into your schedule."

 

"As you wish." Valorum walked over to the improvised bed and examined the Ranger. "He is peacefully asleep. Do you want me to call you when he wakes up?"

 

"Yes, I want to talk to him." Neroon didn't want to leave Marcus, but duty called. He had to talk to Delenn.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Father, I told her what happened. She seemed... shocked." Nasdak didn't know what to make of Delenn's reaction. He had expected her to be a cold hearted woman, but she appeared genuinely concerned for Marcus' well-being.

 

Neroon's eyes fastened on Delenn, who was still on screen. "Nasdak, leave me now. I need to talk to Delenn in private." Nasdak obeyed and Neroon faced Delenn.

 

"Neroon! I did not know that Shakiri was mistreating Marcus. I heard rumors, but..."

 

Neroon raised a hand, silencing her. "This is all your fault to begin with. How could you let him sign that contract, knowing damn well that Marcus was a helpless hostage once he set foot in Shakiri's residence? When I got to him, he was barely alive!"

 

"Neroon..."

 

"No, you will listen to me now. I condemn your original plan as well. How could you send Marcus here with the order to seduce me? Was it because you needed my support and my help in locating the traitor?" Neroon shook his head and felt pleased when Delenn's eyes grew big. "You knew I had feelings for him and you decided to use that against me. That is not fair play... but then again you are not a warrior so you would not understand. I want the text of the contract changed. Marcus is my mate, not the caste leader's. Do you understand? I won't risk losing Marcus in the future."

 

"You still love him..."

 

"Yes, I do, but you cannot use that against me any longer. You delivered Marcus into Shakiri's hands, knowing what lay in store for him. Marcus has been hurt enough. He will stay with me now. Do I make myself clear?"

 

Delenn nodded her head, feeling nervous. "How is Marcus?"

 

"Nasdak probably told you that he lost the child?"

 

"Yes," said Delenn, "and your son also told me that Marcus is in a bad way. Can I talk to him?"

 

Neroon laughed embittered. "Talk to him? Talk? Marcus is heavily sedated, and the one moment he was awake, he was feverish. He is stable, but his recovery will take weeks, maybe even months. I do not want you bothering him with Ranger affairs. He needs to heal!"

 

"I did not know he was that badly hurt," revealed Delenn. "I am to blame."

 

"Yes you are and you won't contact Marcus any time soon. He is too weak to deal with this. I will contact you if there any new developments." Neroon abruptly terminated the connection and checked in with Valorum. Before he went to sleep he wanted one last update on Marcus' condition. "Any changes?"

 

"Not yet, Neroon," said Valorum. "And let us hope it stays that way. He needs rest."

 

Reassured, Neroon left Valorum to watch over his charge and headed for the bathroom, where he took a long hot shower. Shakiri had managed to land a few blows and he was sporting bruises himself, but none as bad as those that marred Marcus' skin. After drying his skin, he slipped into some comfortable black robes and lay down on his tilted sleeping platform. Knowing Marcus was safe helped him sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Neroon? Marcus is waking up."

 

Neroon immediately rose from his platform. At least he had gotten a few hours of sleep. "I am on my way, Valorum." He wanted to be there to reassure Marcus when the Ranger finally came around. As he put on black trousers and a long sleeved shirt, he decided against putting on the epaulettes and armor. Marcus had been around some very unfriendly warriors these last eight months and would probably react with hostility to seeing a uniform. After putting on his boots, he walked in to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, fully waking up. After checking his appearance in the mirror, he left for Marcus' rooms.

 

The door opened and he stepped inside. Valorum stood next to Marcus' improvised bed and ran a scanner over the Ranger's body. "How much longer?"

 

"He will wake up within the next five minutes," said Valorum. "I will stay close, just in case he needs medical attention."

 

Neroon nodded once and sat down on the side of the bed. After taking Marcus' hand in his, he rubbed it soothingly. Marcus' eyelids fluttered hesitantly and then the green eyes finally opened. The startled expression in them urged Neroon to act. "Marcus, you are back at my home. Shakiri cannot hurt you any longer." He decided against telling Marcus just yet that Shakiri was dead, uncertain how the Ranger would react to that news.

 

The large, startled eyes stared at the ceiling, preventing making eye contact. Suddenly, a shocked moan left Marcus' lips and his other hand went to his abdomen. His eyes grew even bigger, finding a flat abdomen.

 

"I am sorry, Marcus, but you took a fall and the child did not survive. Valorum fought hard to save your life, but he could do nothing for the child." Even though the child had existed merely of Shakiri's DNA, Marcus would feel some connection with the child after carrying it for seven months. He gently squeezed Marcus' hand, but the Ranger jerked away from him, drawing away his hand. Helplessly, Neroon wondered what to do. "Marcus, would you look at me?" Maybe talking would help.

 

But Marcus remained silent, staring at the ceiling and rubbing his abdomen in small circles. His loss was visible in his blank stare and Neroon cringed, realizing how hard helping Marcus heal would be. "Marcus, you do not have to worry about Shakiri ever again. I took care of him. You can stay here, with me, as long as you want. Is there anything I can do to help?"

 

Neroon was desperate for a word or sign from Marcus, but the only reply he got were a few tears, sliding down Marcus' cheek as the Ranger finally realized that he was no longer pregnant. Valen, he hated being this helpless and useless. He reached out, planning to take Marcus' hand in his again, but the Ranger kept it tightly against his abdomen, not allowing Neroon to comfort him. "Marcus..." The Ranger was locking him out.

 

"Maybe he needs more rest," suggested Valorum. "He will talk to us when he is ready."

 

Neroon had monitored Marcus closely and noticed the rigid tension in the Ranger's body as Valorum approached. "Marcus, this is my healer, Valorum. He is responsible for your recovery. He won't hurt you." Shakiri's healers probably hadn't been gentle with Marcus.

 

Marcus' eyes closed again and his head lolled to the right. Only now did Neroon notice that Valorum had injected a tranquilizer in one of the IV ports. "His reaction scared me. He won't even acknowledge me."

 

"Marcus needs time, Neroon. He just lost his child, finds himself in new surroundings again and he does not know what to make of your and my presence. Is there a reason why he should feel uncomfortable in your presence?"

 

Neroon flinched; feeling guilty. "I threatened to kill him if we ever met again. He probably thinks I will carry out that threat once he feels better. Why did I say I would challenge him to Denn'Sha and not stop short?"

 

"The next time he wakes up you have to reassure him that he is safe," said Valorum. "I suggest you concentrate on your new duties as caste leader for the next few hours. Marcus won't wake up any time soon."

 

"Will you notify me when he does wake up?" Neroon got to his feet, trying to act soundlessly. When the door opened, he frowned, displeased with more visitors, but his expression softened seeing Nasdak walk up to him. His son found himself in unfamiliar territory now that he was clan leader, but so far Nasdak seemed up to the challenge.

 

"Uyi sent you a message and expects a reply," said Nasdak. "Any changes in Marcus' condition?"

 

"He just woke up again," said Neroon, "but he did not acknowledge me. I do believe he realizes that the lost the child. He is in some sort of shock."

 

"You need to be patient, Neroon." Valorum sighed. "Losing a child is a very traumatic event, give him time."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "But I worry about him."

 

"And you should." Valorum smiled reassuringly. "Go, attend to your matters and I will look after Marcus. Jalai will relieve me in two hours so do not be surprised when it is he and not I who contacts you."

 

"Thank you, my old friend." Neroon smiled thankfully and then gestured his son to follow him.

 

Valorum took his seat again, sitting close to the bed and he watched Marcus' vital signs carefully, expecting nightmares to torment the Ranger.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus didn't dare to breathe too deeply. His lungs hurt and his abdomen felt tense. His right hand rested on the bed; IV's were attached to the skin. With his other hand, he rubbed circles over his abdomen. My God, I lost him... I lost my son... Although he knew that he wouldn't have any rights to the child, it had become an essential part of him. When Shakiri's healers had implanted the embryo in his body he hadn't known how to act, how to feel, but once his belly had started to grow, he had felt the child inside him, felt him kick and move about. Shakiri had told him that the child was a boy and that he would never see the boy again after birth and it had made carrying the baby even more important, because it was the only time they could spend together.

 

His memories of the last few days were very vague. At one point he had thought he had heard Neroon and Nasdak's voice, but he had dismissed that absurd idea. Shakiri had kept him in a state of near unconsciousness since he had talked back to the caste leader. Shakiri had lost his temper and had backhanded him across the room. When Shakiri finally realized he could have hurt his son, he had fussed over him, but then he had ordered the healers to keep him sedated until the moment of birth and now he had lost his child. Knowing that Shakiri would take the child away from him, he hadn't given his son a name, trying to control the hurt that would follow after Shakiri moved in and took their son away.

 

Neroon said I took a fall and lost my child... A fall? Why don't I remember taking that fall? But then again, my memory isn't what it used to be, must be the drugs... I lost my child, lost him before I had the change to look at him. He's dead now... why am I still alive? Why couldn't it be me? It's not right, a child dying... it should have been me... Unable to control his sorrow any longer, tears dripped from his chin.

 

The healer, Valorum, had fallen asleep in his chair and wasn't paying him any attention.

 

I can't believe Neroon's here... And where's Shakiri? He must be howling mad that I lost his child...

 

Before his pregnancy, Shakiri had delighted in calling him names and humiliating him. Then the beatings had started. When he was with child, Shakiri had aimed his punches at his face, not wanting to accidentally hurt his son. These last eight months had been hell and he couldn't believe the torment was over.

 

Suddenly, Valorum stirred, opened his eyes and got to his feet. Marcus sighed, relieved, when Valorum turned away from him. He used the back of his hand to wipe away his tears. Closing his eyes tightly, he tried to ignore the images of a screaming baby, calling him a murderer. It was an accident... an accident! I wanted you to live!

 

Two strong arms suddenly pulled him upright. Startled, expecting to see Shakiri loom over him, he peeked at the man. My God, where did Neroon come from? I didn't hear him enter...

 

Neroon offered him his shoulder to cry on, but he froze, unable to show his pain and sorrow with someone close. Neroon held him, muttering soft reassurances, but they didn't register with him. Neroon had threatened to kill him if they ever met again... or was this a dream? Had to be a dream. Neroon would never hold him like this after learning about his mission to seduce the Minbari. His tears refused to fall and he grew tense, barely keeping himself from freeing himself of the embrace; he lacked the strength to do so.

 

"Marcus, you are safe. Shakiri can no longer hurt you. You are safe here. I will stay with you." 

 

No, go away! Leave me alone... I don't know what to make of this, please... But his vocal chords refused to work properly and his protest came out as a series of grunts and moans.

 

"I do not pretend to know how you are feeling, Marcus. I do know losing a child must hurt tremendously, but I am here for you. I want you to know that there is peace between us. I won't challenge you to Denn'Sha because you lured me into a trap. I am furious with Delenn, not with you. Please let me comfort you."

 

Slightly reassured, Marcus rested his head against Neroon's shoulder, soaking up the other man's warmth and closeness. Looking down, he stared at his flat abdomen, only hidden by a blanket. He wore some loose, blue robes and the improvised bed made him frown. Why a bed? Why not a platform?

 

"You should rest, Marcus, or do you wish to talk to me? I will answer your questions honestly."

 

No, I don't want to talk to you. I want my child back... Fighting back his tears, he buried his fingernails in the fabric of Neroon's shirt. He felt relieved that Neroon wasn't wearing the uniform, which he had come to hate so much. Marcus had quickly closed his eyes, unable to meet Neroon's gaze.

 

Neroon exchanged a troubled glance with Valorum, who stood in the corner of the room, keeping his distance. The old healer nodded his head and Neroon took charge of the situation, deciding to be completely honest with Marcus.

 

"Nasdak found a data crystal, which contained a conversation you had with Delenn. You told her you loved me; that I was the other half of your soul, that we fit perfectly." Marcus stayed tense, but he could tell that the Ranger was listening. It encouraged him to continue. "I regret not letting you explain things to me and... Nasdak told me that Shakiri was mistreating you so I traveled to Shakiri's residence. Nasdak and I slipped inside and we found you sedated. I had to act and challenged Shakiri to Denn'Sha."

 

Marcus stirred, groaned and buried his face against Neroon's chest. What? Neroon couldn't be serious! Shakiri was caste leader and Neroon had challenged him to Denn'Sha? Over him?

 

"Shakiri lost the fight and died... It was an accident. I wanted to let him live; Minbari do not kill Minbari. The Council elected me new caste leader and I took you here, hoping you would recover here faster than when we had stayed at Shakiri's residence."

 

My God, does that mean I'm your property now? Do you expect me to carry your children as well? I don't think I can do that... I feel dead inside.

 

Marcus trembled in his arms and Neroon frowned. He had hoped that Marcus would feel more comfortable, knowing Shakiri couldn't hurt him any more, but he had been mistaken. The trembling grew worse and Marcus started shaking. "Valorum?"

 

The healer approached the two men. "I would prefer not to sedate him again. The medication needs to leave his body. Try to reassure him by words."

 

Neroon tenderly stroked the dark locks and rocked Marcus in his arms. "You are safe. No one will hurt you."

 

Marcus forced himself to calm down. He didn't know what Neroon wanted from him and it was best to wait and see what demands Neroon had. He should rest in the meantime, try to grow strong again. Closing his eyes, he let himself relax. Neroon's arms were wrapped around him once more, holding him tight. Concentrating on feeling safe, he slowly dozed off.

 

"Good," said Valorum, "he is asleep again. You may let go now."

 

Neroon made sure Marcus was resting comfortably and tucked the blanket around the Ranger's form. "Something I said upset him."

 

Valorum considered Neroon's observation. "Marcus might realize that he is your mate now and he might fear you will treat him the same way Shakiri did."

 

Neroon stared at the healer in disbelief. "I would never hurt him!"

 

"I know that, but Marcus lived with Shakiri for eight months. He might find that hard to believe."

 

"Then I will convince him!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nasdak had watched Marcus closely for the last thirty minutes. He had relieved Valorum and Jalai was hovering in the back of the room, checking the notes Valorum had made in Marcus' medical file. Frowning, he wondered why Marcus refused to meet his eyes or talk to him. It was obvious that Marcus was awake; the Ranger's breathing gave him away and yet Marcus pretended to be asleep. His father had told him of Marcus' isolated state, but he still hoped they would find a way to get through to Marcus.

 

Leaning in closer, he cocked his head, launching another attempt to communicate with Marcus. "I know you are awake, Marcus. Why won't you talk to me? I know you are probably angry with me for keeping you away from Neroon, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I apologize for being that stubborn." Nothing. Marcus didn't react. His breathing quickened slightly, but that was about it.

 

"Any changes?" Neroon entered the room and joined his son.

 

"No, I am afraid not. He is awake though." Nasdak frowned. "I cannot get him to talk to me."

 

"I failed as well," said Neroon, "Valorum told me that Marcus might continue to act this way for some time." Neroon signaled Nasdak to join him in the corridor where Marcus couldn't hear them. "This must stop. We cannot allow Marcus to lock us out."

 

Nasdak nodded. "He keeps rubbing his abdomen, as if..." Nasdak suddenly locked eyes with his father. "What if he blames himself for the child's death? His fall was an accident, but..."

 

"We need to unleash his sorrow, but how? Marcus has been like this for two days now. It is not healthy and Valorum also worries."

 

Nasdak suddenly smiled. "I might know something... I will be back shortly... I want to try something."

 

Neroon nodded once. "Let us hope your idea works. I will sit with him in the meantime."

 

Nasdak hurried away and Neroon entered Marcus' rooms again. After sitting down, he took hold of Marcus' hand and stroked the icy skin.

 

I don't know what to do. Why won't they leave me alone? I don't need a babysitter... I fucked up, again. First, I betray Neroon and now I lost my child. I don't want to do this any longer. I'm a sorry excuse for a Ranger... Maybe I should stop trying to be one.

 

Marcus stared outside. The window gave him an excellent view of the gardens and the emerald colored lake. Valorum and Jalai had moved him to a comfortable chair so he could look at the water and the sky. Neroon had left thirty minutes ago and he had been disappointed and relieved at the same time. He didn't know what he felt, what he was supposed to feel when Neroon was close. The man totally confused him. Neroon had been so furious after finding out about his mission and now Neroon was taking care of him? That didn't make any sense.

 

He wrapped both arms around his waist, recalling how it had felt to feel his son grow inside him. His eyes teared up, staring at the lake. The sun was about to set and he wished he could still flee into a sedated state, but Valorum no longer administered him those meds. The only medication he got was to fight the pain his bruised ribs caused.

 

How could he ever go on with his life? This miscarriage had changed his life forever. He hadn't even seen the child. Sobbing softly, he rubbed his abdomen. A soft mew suddenly echoed through the room. No, he wasn't paying it any attention! Another mew, low and pitiful flowed through the room, calling out to him. A small Gok, a kitten really, stumbled into the room. Something appeared to be wrong with the kitten's legs as it stumbled and fell, stumbled and fell, unable to keep upright. The kitten finally made it to his chair and collapsed onto its stomach, mewing helplessly.

 

The black kitten's big eyes locked with his and Marcus quickly looked away, seeing the need for affection in them. No, he wasn't going to react, but the mews continued and the kitten awkwardly tried to rub against his legs, stumbling again. Unable to watch the kitten's pitiful attempts to draw his attention any longer, Marcus slowly bent forward and gently scooped it up in his hands. One IV pushed deeper in his skin, but he ignored it. He had forgotten about the healers' presence and stared at the kitten.

 

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your mother? And what's wrong with your legs?" Instinctively he massaged them to increase the leg's flexibility. The kitten mewed softly, trying to get away from the probing fingers. Marcus released the small animal and stared entranced, as it began to gently massage his abdomen with its soft feet. "No, stop doing that, please." But the kitten continued and tears escaped his eyes. Somehow the kitten's action released his anger and sorrow and he clutched it tightly to his chest, ignoring the soft mews.

 

"I'm sorry, sorry, didn't want you to die... It was an accident. I did love you..." Marcus rubbed his face against the soft fur and the kitten purred softly. "I'm so sorry..." Sobbing violently, he refused to let go of the kitten, smothering it.

 

"Marcus..." Neroon sneaked closer, pulled up another chair and leaned in closer, folding his arms around the Ranger. "Do not hold her so tightly. The little one won't run away... Release your hold just a little." Watching Marcus shake like a leaf, he rescued the struggling kitten and placed her on Marcus' lap. He held Marcus tightly, rubbing his back with soothing strokes. "Let go. Let go of the pain..." He privately thanked his son for coming up with this idea.

 

"I didn't want to lose the child... I know Shakiri wanted the baby for himself, but I... Why did I lose the child? I wanted to see him just once. I knew Shakiri wouldn't allow me close, but I felt him grow, move about, kick. I wanted my son to live."

 

Neroon swallowed hard. "I saw the child."

 

"What?" Marcus finally looked up and made eye contact with Neroon.

 

"He was a perfect copy of Shakiri. I doubt he used any of your DNA, wanting the child to be purely Minbari." Neroon slowly raised his right hand and brushed Marcus' lips with his fingertips. "I am so relieved that you are finally talking to me."

 

Marcus grew pale. "You set me up."

 

"Actually, it was Nasdak who came up with the idea. This little one's mother does not care for her. The kitten's legs are deformed and..."

 

Marcus didn't know how to react to the revelation that they had set him up. "All this to make me talk?"

 

"All this to make you admit your pain." Neroon cupped Marcus' chin in the palm of his hand and raised the Ranger's face, locking eyes with him. "I care about you... I still love you..."

 

Marcus fought his nervousness. "Even after the things I put you through?"

 

Neroon lowered Marcus back into the chair, realizing he was putting pressure on the bruised ribs. "I regret judging you like that, and Nasdak regrets not giving you a chance as well. Now we are hoping you will give us the chance we denied you."

 

Marcus nodded once and stroked the kitten's back. The Gok settled down on his lap and put her little head on her paws, feeling content. "What do you want from me?" It was better to get this over with.

 

Neroon frowned. "I do not understand."

 

"I'm not sure I can carry your children, not after... after losing..." His breath hitched and more tears surfaced in his eyes. "I'll try to be the mate you always wanted."

 

Neroon gently caressed Marcus' face. "I already have a son. If you ever decide to have our child it will be because you want it. I will not force you to carry my child. I am too old to raise a newborn."

 

"You already have a son?" He hadn't known that, but it did calm him down. His biggest fear was suffering a miscarriage again.

 

"Yes, and I am very proud of him." Puzzled, Neroon watched Marcus. Hadn't he told Marcus that Nasdak was his son? Suddenly he wasn't that sure anymore. "Do you wish to meet him?"

 

"Can I?" Marcus felt uncertain, wondering what this meant.

 

"Valorum, send for my son!"

 

"Yes, Neroon." Valorum left at once.

 

"So you don't need me to carry your children?" Marcus wasn't sure what he felt. The Gok felt warm on his lap and one of Neroon's arms was still wrapped tightly around his waist.

 

"No," said Neroon, "I want you as my lover. I want back what we shared those weeks when you were living here as my lover."

 

"I'm no longer that man, Neroon." warned Marcus, "I changed."

 

"And so did I." The door opened and Neroon gestured Nasdak to approach them. "Marcus, meet my son." He carefully monitored Marcus' reaction to seeing Nasdak. At first, the Ranger tensed, but then a puzzled expression appeared in his eyes. "Yes," said Neroon, taking pity on Marcus, "Nasdak is my son and my successor."

 

Marcus tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "Son...?"

 

"Yes," said Nasdak, "Neroon is my father." He approached slowly, giving Marcus time to get used to his presence. "I am sorry I misjudged you, but I am very protective of my father and I feared you were using him."

 

Marcus' body suddenly went limp against his and Neroon looked up, alarmed. "Valorum?"

 

"He fainted. This was too much information at once." Valorum quickly checked Marcus' pulse and breathing. "Let us put him back in bed."

 

Neroon lifted the Ranger and carried him to his bed, gently lowering him in to the comfort of the mattress. The kitten clung to Marcus, having buried her claws in his shirt. Neroon tried to convince the kitten to let go, but it actually hissed at him!

 

"Let the Gok stay. She helped Marcus get in touch with his feelings. She is a poor excuse for a child, but she will help him deal with the loss." Valorum made sure Marcus was resting comfortably. "I am confident that his recovery has started. He is no longer locking you out. Now you have to persevere and support him as he deals with the loss of his child."

 

Nasdak rested a hand on Neroon's shoulder, assuring his father that he would be there for Marcus as well. "We will both support him."

 

Pleased, Neroon nodded his head once. He was determined to find the free spirit that had attracted him in the first place and that had now been pushed to the background after everything Marcus had been through. I will prove my love to him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Marcus woke again, he found himself cocooned in warm blankets. Nasdak was sitting in a chair next to his bed and was reading some reports. "Why is it that every time I wake up either you or Neroon are here?"

 

Nasdak smiled, pleased that Marcus was addressing him. "Your health is very important to Neroon and therefore it's also very important to me. I want my father to be happy."

 

"You never told me Neroon was your father." Marcus grew aware of movement beneath the blankets and curiously, he checked it out. The Gok had curled up against his chest, keeping him company. "She was your idea?"

 

"Guilty," admitted Nasdak, "I hoped she would help you get in touch with your feelings. I... feel guilty, you know."

 

"Guilty?" Carefully, Marcus pushed himself in a sitting position. His ribs and wrist hurt, but the pillows supported him nicely.

 

"It is my fault you lost your son."

 

Marcus' eyes widened. Why was Nasdak bringing this up now? "Why is it your fault?" Seeing Nasdak's surprise, he explained. "I don't remember much."

 

"Gahen, my second in command was carrying you and I slammed into you, sending you down the stairs." Nasdak closed his eyes. "When we finally got to you, you looked..." Nasdak tried to push away the memories. "I found a healer and Jalai told me that you had lost the child. I am sorry... This is my fault."

 

Marcus' heart thundered. "No, it isn't your fault." Hesitantly, he reached for Nasdak's hand. "It's Shakiri's fault for keeping me drugged and it's my fault for ever signing that contract. You merely tried to help me."

 

Nasdak placed his hand on top of Marcus'. "I need to apologize for Shakiri's actions. The way he treated you was without honor. You do know that neither Neroon nor I will ever hurt you?"

 

Marcus managed to smile. "Yes, I know that I'm safe here." The Gok stretched and stumbled over her feet when she tried to move toward his face. Marcus gently scooped her up and smiled at her. "What do I do with her?"

 

"She would make a good pet. If we put her back with the rest of the litter she would not survive."

 

Marcus gave Nasdak a thoughtful look. "I never knew you're Neroon's son."

 

Nasdak shrugged. "It never came up."

 

"Is Shakiri really dead?"

 

Marcus' question took Nasdak aback. "Yes, Shakiri is dead."

 

"There were times when I wanted him dead," revealed Marcus. "I... hated him."

 

"Nasdak? I will sit with Marcus now." Neroon had heard the last few sentences and wanted to be the one Marcus confided in.

 

Nasdak rose from the chair, bowed slightly and left. Neroon took his place and clasped Marcus' hand in his. The Gok gave him a hard look and then curled up in Marcus' arms, feeling totally comfortable resting against the warm body. "Marcus, what did Shakiri do to you?"

 

Marcus licked his lips and averted his eyes. "Nothing major. He called me names, humiliated me in front of his men...Then he started to beat me up. At first, I fought him, but it's hard to defend yourself when two Minbari are holding you. When I was with child, I merely accepted the blows. I didn't want to endanger the child."

 

"That is in the past now," promised Neroon, "but I need to ask you one more thing."

 

"Yes?" Marcus steeled himself for every possible question, not knowing what Neroon wanted to know.

 

"Are you still my lover? Do you want to be my official mate? I still love you and I want to be with you. I want you to be my mate in every sense of the word. My men will respect you, I will respect you. You will hold the position that is yours by right of marriage."

 

Marcus smiled saddened. "Neroon, I'm a mess... Shakiri never touched me intimately; don't get me wrong, but... I don't know if I can be around you all the time. You're Minbari, your bone crest, your way of speaking, acting, they remind me of Shakiri. I don't want to exchange being his prisoner for being yours. Shakiri made it very clear that I was his property, that I no longer had the right to make my own decisions. It will take me a while to... to be me again."

 

"I understand that, Marcus, but I can help you heal. Our love was true, I know that now. It can help you heal. I still want to hold you, make love to you... That has not changed."

 

"I want that to," admitted Marcus, "but... Bugger, I'm not going to cry again!" When he had been Shakiri's prisoner he had never cried and now he wasn't able to stop.

 

"Marcus, move over..." Neroon got to his feet and sat down on the side of the bed. "Sleeping in the horizontal is tempting death, but I gladly risk eternal sleep for you."

 

Luckily the bed was big enough for both of them. It took Marcus some time to move over, careful not to pull out the IV's. The Gok stirred, displeased, but when Marcus moved her closer to him, she settled down again. Neroon lay down as well, facing Marcus, opened his arms and gave the Ranger the time he needed to make himself comfortable.

 

"I like this," confessed Marcus. "I missed this. When I was lonely at night I tried to remember what it was like, waking up in your arms. This feels surreal. I can't believe I'm here, that Shakiri's dead and that... that I lost..." His hand searched for the kitten and gently stroked the smooth fur.

 

Neroon tightened the embrace. "You will heal, I promise."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

One week later.

 

Marcus clenched his teeth, trying to walk for the first time since Neroon had rescued him from Shakiri. Whenever he had sat in the chair near the balcony one of the Minbari had carried him, now he wanted to try on his own. "I can do this..." Marcus accepted Neroon's help, knowing damn well he couldn't make it on his own.

 

"Slowly, Marcus. Just place one foot in front of the other." Neroon supported Marcus as the Ranger walked toward the balcony. It was a warm day and they had placed the chair outside so Marcus could feel the rays of the sun on his skin.

 

"I made it..." sighed Marcus. "I wasn't sure I could do it." Marcus released a deep breath and leaned into the comfort of the chair. It felt good to be back in the sun after such a long time. Neroon had pulled up a chair and now sat beside him. The silence and serenity of the sunset made him feel at peace.

 

"Here, she wants to be near you." Neroon placed the now slightly larger Gok on Marcus' lap. "You should name her."

 

"I don't know what to call her," admitted Marcus. "I don't want to grow too attached to her..."

 

Neroon understood. "Goks grow very old. She will keep you company for the largest part of your life." Marcus still mourned his son's death, which was perfectly understandable. "You are recovering, Marcus, give it time."

 

Marcus patted the kitten, who was kneading his still sensitive stomach. "Stop doing that..." He picked up the kitten and stroked her tummy. She purred appreciatively. "Can I ask you something personal, Neroon?"

 

"Yes?" Neroon moved a little closer, noticing the cautious tone to Marcus' voice.

 

"If I ever decided I wanted a child... your child... what would you do?"

 

Aha, a test... Neroon cleared his throat and gazed into Marcus' eyes. "I would make sure you want to do this and that you are not feeling pressured in doing that. I told you before, I have a son, I do not require more children, but if you really wanted one... I would give it to you. I would stay close during your pregnancy and pamper you. I am not Shakiri. I would not sedate you and humiliate you. I will love you and care for you." Neroon felt relieved, seeing Marcus' pleased smile. "But why would you want to go through that ordeal again? You barely survived your last pregnancy."

 

Marcus briefly closed his eyes. "I wanted to have this child, my son, even if it was Shakiri's. And I... I'm wondering what kind of parent I would be. Yes, I know that Shakiri would never have let me close to the child, but... I feel cheated, like I lost something really precious and..."

 

"If you want to have my child in the future, we will discuss that and... you do not have to put yourself through pregnancy again. I can carry the child." Marcus' eyes changed to blue and Neroon loved seeing that particular shade.

 

"You'd do that for me?" whispered Marcus in disbelief, "You'd..." His voice failed him. "I shouldn't be thinking about this just yet."

 

Neroon smiled warmly. "You are healing, Marcus. You are moving on." Neroon cleared his throat. "Valorum thinks your recovery is satisfactory and... I was wondering... Would you move in to my quarters? Share them with me? I will understand if you want to stay here where you can have your privacy."

 

"Neroon, are you serious? I..." Marcus briefly lost himself in patting the Gok, who was purring and rolling on to her back, offering him her tummy. "Do you really forgive me for playing you the way I did? I really fell in love with you... I thought that having sex with you would be horrible, but I loved it, loved the way you touched me..."

 

"If we are careful we can make love tonight," suggested Neroon. "I won't put any pressure on your ribs and I would be very careful not to cause you any discomfort."

 

Marcus blushed. "Do you really want me? Really? After everything that happened? I love you too, but..."

 

Neroon reacted quickly and placed his hands on either side of Marcus' head. "You are my mate, my lover, let me love you. Let me prove my love to you."

 

Speechless, Marcus stared into Neroon's dilated pupils. "Yes, I want that too."

 

"And you will share my quarters with me? My life?"

 

"If you want me..."

 

"Stupid question..." remarked Neroon. "Of course I want you..."

 

Marcus smiled brilliantly and leaned in to kiss Neroon. Thank you for coming after me, Neroon. I'll always love you. I'll love you as long as I'll live.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"It's strange to be back," whispered Marcus. "I never thought I'd ever set foot in here again." Marcus followed Neroon's instructions and sat down in a chair, letting Neroon put away the few things he possessed. "Uhm, Neroon? Where did those turtlenecks and shirts come from? I don't remember owning that many trousers and what are those robes doing in my drawer?" Neroon had assigned him some drawers and Marcus frowned, seeing Neroon put away boots, socks and underwear.

 

"I talked to Sech Turval," revealed Neroon. "He was glad to help and sent some clothes and other items, like..." Neroon opened the duffle bag, "something called shampoo?"

 

Marcus smiled. "Good old Sech Turval. I always liked him."

 

Neroon put the toiletries in the bathroom and then joined Marcus. "Are you tired? You have been too long on your feet. Valorum told me you still need rest."

 

"Neroon, what happened to your sleeping platform?" Marcus wondered about the Minbari. Why the changes?

 

"I had the single removed and a larger one placed. I covered it with a comforter and added some pillows. I want you to be comfortable as long as you are healing."

 

Marcus averted his eyes. It had been months since someone had been this kind to him and he was still getting used to it. "You didn't have to do that."

 

"But I wanted to. Would you like to rest until dinner? I will ask the cook to serve dinner in my... our rooms." Neroon grabbed a blanket and covered Marcus with it. "Are you comfortable?"

 

"Yes, but where's Legs?" The kitten stumbled up to him. She would probably always be handicapped and Marcus fully accepted that, caring for the Gok anyway. "Come here, you." He picked up the kitten and waited for her to settle down in his lap. "Wake me for dinner?"

 

Neroon placed a tender kiss on Marcus' brow. "Sleep and do not worry, agreed?"

 

"Agreed..." His eyes were already closing. The trip to Neroon's quarters had exhausted him.

 

Now that Marcus was asleep, Neroon started to prepare for a very special night.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A sweet fragrance woke Marcus several hours later. What's that smell? Roses? Confused, he opened his eyes and briefly forgot to breathe. Neroon's quarters had undergone another transformation. Scented candles emanated a sweet smell and graced the room with a soft, warm light. Dinner was already served and Marcus discovered fruits, bread and several other food items on Neroon's desk. He wasn't that hungry and ignored the food, searching for Neroon. In the center of the room stood the large, rigged, platform and Neroon stood next to it. My God, he's naked... I missed him, missed feeling him, seeing him like this...

 

Confidently, Neroon strutted over to Marcus and extended his hand. "Let me help."

 

Marcus cocooned Legs in the blanket and placed her safely on the floor. "What?" Stunned, he closed his eyes as Neroon's hands gently caressed his face, throat, neck and then began removing the loose robes he was wearing.

 

"Do you wish to eat or make love first?"

 

Marcus trembled. The passionate tone in Neroon's voice told him what the Minbari preferred. "I want to feel you..." Neroon's strong and yet incredibly gentle hands guided him to the rigged platform. He placed one hand behind Neroon's neck and allowed the Minbari to lift and place him on the platform. "I want this, I need this... I had no idea how badly I missed you until..."

 

Neroon silenced him with a kiss. Agile fingers quickly removed Marcus' underwear and Neroon sighed appreciatively. Most bruises were gone and only the bandages reminded him of the abuse Marcus had suffered at Shakiri's hands. "I love you, Marcus."

 

"I love you too. I wish I had told you before you found out, but..."

 

"I silenced you that night with a kiss," recalled Neroon. "You did try to tell me."

 

Marcus' breath caught. "Yes, that's right, I..."

 

"Let us not dwell on the past. We are here now and I want to make love to you..." Neroon straddled Marcus' hips, but was careful not to put any weight on the healing ribs. "Let me love you..." Bowing forward, he licked Marcus' lips, suckled his bottom lip and then moved down, licking the Ranger's throat. "I missed you... missed feeling you beneath me..." Marcus tried to raise his hips, but Neroon admonished him. "Do not do that. Let me do the work. You are still healing."

 

Marcus licked his lips. It had been eight, almost nine months since he had been in Neroon's arms. "I won't last long..."

 

"Only pleasure, only joy." Neroon showered Marcus' chest with butterfly kisses, slowly descending to the Ranger's groin, finding Marcus hard and eager. "Tell me what you want, my love."

 

"You inside me..." Tears pooled in Marcus' eyes, remembering how complete he had felt when Neroon had been inside him.

 

"Your ribs?"

 

"I can manage." Marcus bit his bottom lip as Neroon's tongue twisted around his leaking cock, lapping, teasing and blowing cool air over the sensitive head. "Neroon, please..." He felt like a rag doll, having lost control over his body. He wanted this union, wanted to put Shakiri behind him. Yelping softly, he buried his fingernails in the blankets as Neroon closed his lips over his cock, taking in more, deep throating him until he was mumbling incoherently. "I love you, Neroon, I really do."

 

Neroon pulled back and met his lover's gaze. "I know you do." He reached for the oil and generously coated his cock with the slippery substance. "Marcus?"

 

"Please do it, I need you!" Marcus grabbed Neroon's head, pulled the Minbari close and brutally kissed him. "Now, please..."

 

Taken aback by his lover's need, Neroon positioned himself and slowly pushed past the ring of muscle. He was inside, barely. I should have prepared him, but... Their pace had been frantic, both of them seeking union and he had let passion overwhelm him.

 

"Deeper, please..." Marcus raised his hips, and pulled Neroon closer. His eyes widened, feeling Neroon ease inside and he finally felt whole, complete. "Yes..."

 

Neroon stayed perfectly still, not moving at all. Thrusting would put too much pressure on Marcus' mending ribs and he wrapped his fingers around Marcus' cock, stroking gently, slowly, prolonging their union. Licking Marcus' earlobe, he whispered soft words of love. "I love you... Marcus. You are my mate, my love, my life. I will never let you go."

 

Marcus groaned and climaxed. His come dripped into Neroon's hand and he trembled, sobbing softly.

 

Neroon released his own orgasm and took a moment to savor the ecstasy before kissing Marcus again. Slowly, he pulled out and rolled onto his side, facing Marcus. "Your ribs?"

 

"I'm fine, more than fine. I... I love you, Neroon, and I'm so sorry for all the problems I caused..." His eyes were swimming with joy. Neroon had made love to him, still loved him. "Please hold me?"

 

Neroon carefully wrapped his arms around him, staying clear of the bruised ribs. "We are together now and we will be until the day we die. We will be happy."

 

Exhausted, Marcus rested his head against Neroon's shoulder. "I was being honest, you know... You're the other half of my soul..."

 

"And we fit perfectly. Now go to sleep. When you wake up I will still be here..."

 

Content, Marcus closed his eyes and snuggled up to Neroon. "Lo...ve... you..."

 

You were right, Marcus... You are the other half of my soul. Now sleep tight. We got the rest of our lives to make love.

 

 

The end

June 2002

 

Concluded in Burning Bridges


	3. Burning bridges.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sequel to Forgiveness)Third in the series; Marcus recovers while staying at Neroon's home. When he finds out that Nasdak's fiancé is pregnant, he relives his own horrors and realizes he longs for a child of his own. Neroon learns about Marcus' true feelings and suggests becoming parents themselves. Then they find out that Marcus can no longer bear any children due to the trauma done during his fall. Neroon then considers carrying the child instead. (Male pregnancy and this time it's Neroon.)

Burning Bridges 

 

 

Neroon eyed Marcus closely. For the last thirty minutes, Marcus had been staring outside, at the gardens to be precise. Marcus' hands twitched while patting Legs and the Ranger's feet seemed to gravitate toward the doorway. He constantly shifted in the chair and his green eyes carried an explicit desire.

 

"Marcus, would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?"

 

Marcus' eyes grew big. "Are you saying I can?"

 

Neroon suddenly realized what was going on in Marcus' head. "Shakiri forbade you to venture outside?"

 

Marcus nervously nodded his head. "I was confined to my rooms. They only let me go outside when Shakiri needed me to attend a formal meeting."

 

Neroon reminded himself that Marcus had been Shakiri's prisoner for eight months. It would take more than two weeks to undo the damage Shakiri had done. "Then why do you not take Legs for a walk? She needs the exercise, even if she stumbles over her own two feet. You can always carry her if she grows tired."

 

"Alone?" Marcus' breathing hitched. "You want me to go out on my own?"

 

"Yes." Neroon encouragingly nodded his head. Seeing the shocked expression in Marcus' eyes, Neroon tried to reassure him. "I can accompany you if that is what you prefer... Or Nasdak can keep you company. Unfortunately I need to study these reports. I would rather spend that time with you."

 

Marcus blushed. Neroon's work load had doubled since he had become caste leader and it meant a lot to him to hear Neroon say that. "I..." His voice trailed off. He didn't know if he was ready to venture out alone yet. He still expected to see Shakiri or Sallis walk up to him to grab him. During these last seven days he had calmed down, but he still felt uncomfortable around groups of Minbari warriors. Legs had been his constant companion and he clung to the kitten when Neroon wasn't around. "Maybe we can go for that walk when you're done reading those reports?"

 

Neroon sighed, but didn't pressure Marcus. "Yes, we will go for a walk later." Unable to concentrate on the reports, he studied Marcus who seemed lost, stroking Leg's fur. He had saved Marcus from Shakiri's reign of terror two weeks ago, and although some of Marcus' old sparkle was returning, the Ranger was still withdrawn and very cautious around him and Nasdak.

 

In the end, Neroon placed the reports aside. "These can wait. We will go for that walk now." He noticed Marcus' surprise and the Ranger seemed to push deeper into the comfort of the chair, retreating. Neroon rose from behind his desk, offered Marcus his hand as support and waited for his mate to get to his feet.

 

Marcus hesitantly accepted the support. His right wrist was still bandaged and he couldn't use it to carry Legs, now that his left hand rested in Neroon's.

 

Neroon realized Marcus' problem. "I will carry her." The disbelief that stared back at him from behind Marcus' draped eyes almost broke his heart and he wished he could hurt Shakiri and his healers as deeply as they had hurt Marcus, but Shakiri was dead and so was the child. Neroon realized that Legs had taken the place of the child Marcus had carried and so far, Marcus had avoided discussing losing his son. Maybe it was time he addressed it for Marcus' sake. He supported Marcus and guided him outside. Legs protested against being moved to Neroon's arm, but she settled down eventually.

 

Marcus sighed, blissfully, as the warm sun caressed his face. His beard and mustache hadn't grown back yet and he wasn't sure he wanted them back. He allowed Neroon to lead him to a bench, hidden in the shade of a large tree.

 

"Sit down." Neroon handed Marcus Legs once the Ranger had seated himself. The kitten purred and curled up on Marcus' lap.

 

"I love it here," admitted Marcus. "It's beautiful. I missed being out in the open..."

 

"Tell me more about those eight months." Neroon watched Marcus carefully, seeing the Ranger tense up.

 

Marcus swallowed hard, rubbed Legs' tummy and hesitated to re-open that wound. "They hated me. I don't know who hated me more, Shakiri or Sallis."

 

"Did Shakiri beat you often?

 

Marcus shrugged, careful of his still mending ribs. "Whenever he was in a foul mood. He also liked to watch Sallis beat me up. The pain didn't really faze me, but when I was with child, I feared for the little one's life."

 

Neroon rested a hand on Marcus' knee, gently squeezing it. "Would you like to have seen your son?" Marcus almost stopped breathing and Neroon regretted his directness. "Marcus, I am sorry..."

 

"No." Marcus raised his hand, indicating that he wanted to answer that question. "I'm not sure. You told me that he was a perfect replica of Shakiri and seeing that would have hurt. Now I can pretend he was my son as well. I never imagined being pregnant, even when reading the contract. I never expected Shakiri to take that step."

 

Neroon was at a loss for words. He simply held Marcus' stare and tried to share his lover's pain, respecting it.

 

Neroon's calm helped Marcus to find some peace with what had happened. "I'm so lucky to have you, Neroon. I dread to think of what would have happened if you hadn't believed I really loved you." Marcus shuddered. "I would have been dead by now."

 

Neroon reached out at once. "Marcus..." He pulled his mate close, and smiled when Marcus rested his head on his shoulder. "You are alive and I love you. We will be together for the rest of our lives. I will always love you and never doubt you again. I want you to know that you can talk to me about your pain and sorrow. I never lost a child, but I cannot imagine the pain if I ever lost Nasdak."

 

Marcus smiled against Neroon's shoulder. "Yes, I'm sad, sad because I lost my baby, but..."

 

Neroon heard Marcus' choke up and hugged him tight. "I am here. You are not alone."

 

Marcus managed to wipe away the few tears that had left his eyes. "I feel like a nutcase, Neroon. You must be mad to want me as your mate."

 

"Mad with love and desire for you, yes." Neroon placed a gentle kiss on Marcus' hair.

 

Marcus needed to distance himself from Neroon, but was unable to pull away. He used Legs as an excuse to move about. "She should try to walk..."

 

"Are you still massaging her feet?" Neroon had wondered about that, but Marcus had told him that he was trying to increase the feet's flexibility.

 

"But it isn't working." Marcus placed Legs on the grass and watched her stumble. She tried to run, chase a butterfly, but always ended up on her butt. "She's cute... It's just a shame that her feet are deformed."

 

"You gave her a home. You care for her. What more can she wish for? Without you, she would have died." Marcus flinched and Neroon wondered what he had said wrong.

 

"I would have died without you... Is that how I appear to you? Stumbling, needing a home?"

 

"No." Neroon was honestly shocked to hear Marcus say that. "You are still healing, yes, and you will stumble before you learn how to deal with life again, but I did not take you as my mate because of pity! I love you!"

 

Marcus instantly regretting making those accusations. "I know you love me..."

 

"Good. Now we will go back inside. You have an appointment with Valorum. He still needs to check on you. It worries me that your wrist and ribs are still troubling you."

 

Marcus actually smiled. "Neroon, I'm not Minbari! Humans heal slower!"

 

"Hum... That is not acceptable," teased Neroon.

 

Marcus shook his head, let Neroon gather Legs in his arms and then followed Neroon back inside. "Cocky bastard..." muttered Marcus, softly.

 

"Yes, I am!" Neroon grinned smugly.

 

Marcus yelped, startled.

 

"I used a Standard-Minbari dictionary to look up those words... I will think of it as a compliment."

 

Marcus' smile was honest and genuine. "And that's why I love you."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon woke during the night because Marcus was shivering against him. Marcus had been warm when they had retreated for the night. They still slept in the improvised bed; Neroon slightly vertical, popped up against some pillows and Marcus lay facing him, in his arms. Legs had curled up close to Marcus' chest and was pushing against the bruised ribs so Neroon removed her and put her in a warm spot near Marcus' feet. His mate was still cold though and that wasn't acceptable. Suddenly Neroon stared in to alert green eyes. "You are awake?"

 

"Yes." Marcus shivered again. Although Neroon and he were skin on skin, it wasn't enough to keep him warm.

 

"Would you like another blanket?" Why hadn't Marcus asked him to get one when the Ranger was awake anyway?

 

"You don't have to get out of bed for me. I'm used to the cold... kind of."

 

Neroon shook his head; once more reminded of Shakiri's ugly legacy. "Stay, I will raise the room temperature and get you another blanket to keep you warm."

 

"Neroon, don't... Not on my account."

 

Neroon tightly controlled his rage, aimed at Shakiri and his men. "I want to do this."

 

Marcus gave in and his teeth chattered when Neroon left their bed. A warm blanket descended on to him and Neroon even tucked it around his back before sliding back beneath the covers.

 

Marcus sighed, finally feeling warm. Neroon folded an arm around Marcus and spooned up behind him, trying to warm his mate with his body heat. "Are you comfortable like this?"

 

"Oh, yes..." Marcus pushed closer to Neroon's body. He relaxed in the embrace and allowed himself to think back to his imprisonment. He had always been cold in his rooms, even when his baby had been growing inside him. He had been so afraid that the cold would somehow hamper the child's development.

 

"Are you thinking of Shakiri?" Neroon buried his face in Marcus' hair, inhaling his lover's scent, needing him close.

 

"Yes, how did you know?"

 

"You are trembling."

 

"I felt lonely at night. I was afraid to remember our nights together; remembering the things I had lost. When I saw you for that first time, I couldn't believe you had come for me. I thought I was hallucinating."

 

Neroon hugged Marcus tighter. "I am sorry that I did not act earlier."

 

"I don't blame you, Neroon, I never did. I know I dug my own grave when I signed that contract."

 

"Then why did you do it?" Neroon really wanted to hear Marcus' reason for handing himself over to Shakiri.

 

"Guilt," admitted Marcus. "I felt guilty for using you and... There's more but I don't want to talk about them."

 

Them? Who's them? Neroon stored this information away for later. "Do you still feel this guilt?"

 

"It's grown less these past few weeks, since you're back in my life. You're the first person I really dared to confide in."

 

"I feel honored," growled Neroon. "But you should rest. Do you think you can go back to sleep now?"

 

"I never slept in the first place."

 

Neroon was stunned. He hadn't even noticed that Marcus had been merely pretending to be asleep! "Then go to sleep now. You are still recovering from that fall."

 

"Neroon?" Marcus trembled, about to make a request.

 

"Yes?"

 

"I love hearing your voice... Could you just talk? It doesn't matter what it's about. It was always so damn silent in my rooms."

 

Neroon swallowed convulsively. He would talk until he lost his voice if it soothed Marcus. "I will tell you about my youth, my parents, my time served on the Ingata with Branmer... Close your eyes, listen to my voice, and let yourself drift off in to sleep."

 

Marcus smiled and eagerly obeyed Neroon's instructions; closing his eyes. He tried to stay awake when Neroon regaled him with tales of his early childhood, but the warm voice quickly lured him into sleep.

 

Neroon continued to talk long after Marcus' breathing had deepened and slowed down, indication that his lover was finally sound asleep.

 

You might not blame me for acting so late, but I blame myself. I carry my guilt as you carry yours. Damn Delenn for ordering you to seduce me! Neroon absentmindedly stroked Marcus' back and listened to his lover's steady breathing. But you are in my arms now and the present is the only thing that matters. We are together now...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon walked up to Marcus who had finally gone outside on his own. Legs was tumbling in the grass, reaching out to bury its sharp claws in Marcus' boots. He enjoyed seeing the smile on his mate's face and hoped that Marcus would continue to grow stronger with every passing day. That the bruised ribs and sprained wrist kept Marcus from working out was a pity. Pike training would have given Marcus some of his old confidence back.

 

"Marcus, you look well today." Neroon seated himself on the bench beside Marcus and gently took his lover's hand in his.

 

"I didn't expect to see you at this early hour. Weren't you caught up in a meeting?" Marcus tried to stay away from larger groups of Minbari who he didn't know and had opted out of the meeting; unknown Minbari still intimidated him.

 

"Actually, that is why I am here. I called for a meeting of clan leaders; I need to stay in close contact with them now that I succeeded Shakiri. They will join us for dinner tonight." Marcus' reaction to hearing that news surprised Neroon. The Ranger grew pale, tensed up and trembled. The little spark that had resided in those green eyes now extinguished. "Marcus, did I say something wrong?"

 

"A formal dinner?" Marcus' voice shook violently.

 

Neroon wondered why this upset Marcus. "Yes, a formal dinner. We will eat, discuss caste matters and then retire for the night."

 

"Why do I have to be there?" Marcus' hands opened and closed; became claws and he completely ignored Legs who was trying to climb on to his lap.

 

"You are my mate. You belong at my side."

 

Marcus abruptly got to his feet, staring blankly ahead of him.

 

Alarmed, Neroon picked up Legs who was mewing pitifully. Marcus' reaction puzzled him.

 

"I'll be there," said Marcus in an emotionless tone. Without giving Neroon or Legs a second glance, he headed for their home.

 

Neroon frowned, followed Marcus and decided to stay close to the Ranger whose behavior had him worried.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon watched Marcus closely, puzzled by the void in his lover's eyes. Marcus had showered and put on his Ranger uniform, which he hadn't worn since his rescue. Marcus had been comfortable wearing loose robes or a warm shirt and trousers. Neroon's concern increased when Marcus sat down, fully dressed and staring blindly at the door. What was he missing? What had set off Marcus' peculiar behavior?

 

Slowly, giving Marcus time to grow used to being approached, he lowered himself on to his heels. "Marcus?" He hated the way the Ranger flinched at hearing his name.

 

"I'm ready." Marcus' voice still lacked emotions. He sat frozen, waiting for something terrible to happen.

 

"Why do you not carry Legs? She is much more comfortable around you."

 

But Marcus rose from his chair without ever hearing Neroon's words. He moved to the doorway and stepped in to the corridor, completely ignoring Neroon and Legs.

 

Truly worried by now, Neroon quickly followed Marcus, leaving Legs on their bed, where the kitten would quickly fall asleep after playing in the gardens for hours.

 

Marcus rushed to the hall, but didn't enter, waiting for Neroon to join him.

 

"Marcus?" Neroon's heart missed a beat, seeing the downcast eyes. In Valen's name... What was wrong?

 

One of the guards opened the antique, wooden door and Marcus fell in to step beside Neroon.

 

Neroon didn't like this one bit. The five clan leaders, Zoun, Weyr, Uyi, Barin and his son Nasdak, rose from their seats to welcome them.

 

"Shai Alit Neroon," said Barin in greeting, "we are honored to be your guests."

 

Neroon heard Marcus' sharp intake of breath at hearing his title. Why did it upset Marcus to hear them call him Shai Alit? That title had become his when Shakiri had died. Valen, was that it? Was this somehow tied to Shakiri?

 

They had reached the dinner table and Neroon gestured everyone to take their seats. Sitting down himself, he realized that Marcus was still standing, trembling on his feet. Marcus' eyes were still lowered and the Ranger was staring at the floor.

 

"Marcus?" Nasdak sounded worried and exchanged a glance with his father.

 

"Marcus? Please sit down." Neroon got to his feet and rested a hand on Marcus' arm. Stunned, he watched Marcus jerk away from him.

 

"Don't..."

 

Neroon felt utterly helpless, hearing Marcus' soft plea. "I am not going to hurt you. Valen, are you afraid of me?"

 

But Marcus' lips remained sealed, standing rigid like a statue and barely daring to breathe.

 

"Neroon..." Barin rose to his feet and gestured Neroon to follow him in to a corner of the room where Marcus couldn't hear them.

 

"Yes?" Neroon never took his eyes off of Marcus.

 

"Shakiri used these dinners as an opportunity to humiliate Marcus. While the Ranger was tired and hungry, Shakiri refused to let him sit down or serve him any food."

 

"Even when Marcus was pregnant?"

 

"Yes and Sallis followed Shakiri's example to torment Marcus whenever he could. Maybe this dinner triggered his memories and Marcus expects history to repeat itself?"

 

Of course... That is it! Marcus startled when they called me Shai Alit and... He expects me to treat him like Shakiri did. Somehow he was catapulted back to the past.

 

"Neroon, keep in mind what he has been through," Barin paused briefly. "I doubt Marcus told you the truth about the way Shakiri mistreated him... and he lost the child... Be considerate of that."

 

Stunned, Neroon realized that Barin was pleading on Marcus' behalf. "Do not worry about his well-being, my good friend. No hurt will come to him, but I need to talk to him now."

 

Neroon found Nasdak trying to pull Marcus from his catatonic state, but his son was fighting a lost battle. Approaching Marcus, he tried to lock eyes with him, but Marcus refused to meet his gaze. He carefully wrapped an arm around his mate. "Please excuse us," said Neroon, addressing his guests. "But I need to take care of my mate. Marcus, come with me. Nasdak, entertain our guests."

 

Neroon guided Marcus out of the hall, in to the corridor and then led him back to their rooms.

 

Marcus allowed it. It never occurred to him to protest.

 

Neroon gently pushed Marcus down on to the bed until his lover sat upright; his body still tense. Acting instinctively, Neroon hugged him close and held him tight. "Marcus, it is over. You will never be hurt again. You do not have to attend these dinners if they make you feel uncomfortable." Slowly, Marcus relaxed, but Neroon continued his reassurances. "I will never disrespect your wishes. You are my mate, my beloved." Marcus collapsed against him and Neroon took that as a sign that the Ranger felt more at ease now. "Why don't I help you out of your uniform and back in to your robes? I know you find them more comfortable."

 

Marcus sighed, listening closely to Neroon's soothing voice. It had become his beacon in the darkness that had unexpectedly caught up with him.

 

"Lean against me and let assist you." Neroon helped Marcus out of the long cloak and tunic, removed the belt that pressed against bruised ribs and heard Marcus' relieved sigh. He briefly released Marcus to help him in to the soft and warm robes. "Better?"

 

"Yes, thank you..." Marcus suddenly realized what a fool he had made out of himself. He had utterly embarrassed himself and Neroon. "I'm so sorry... I... I froze up."

 

"That is understandable after everything you have been through."

 

"But what will they think?" Marcus finally met Neroon's glance. Ashamed, he wondered how he could ever make up for embarrassing Neroon like that. "But when you told me about the dinner... That they would be there... They called you Shai Alit and..."

 

Neroon realized his mistake; he had assumed that Marcus had recovered enough to understand that everything was different now, but hearing the title of Shai Alit had reminded Marcus of Shakiri and the abuse he had suffered at the dead man's hands.

 

"You should go back, Neroon. They are your guests." Marcus still leaned against his lover and had even wrapped his good arm around the Minbari's waist. His injured wrist rested against his chest. He didn't want Neroon to leave but knew the new caste leader couldn't neglect his duties.

 

"Marcus?" Neroon cupped Marcus' chin in his hand and waited for his lover to look at him. "I won't ever force you to do something against your will, but would you accompany me? Barin, Uyi and Nasdak greatly worry about you. Even Weyr never approved of Shakiri's actions and..."

 

"And Zoun? Shakiri and he were friends."

 

"Did Zoun ever participate in Shakiri's attempts to humiliate and hurt you?"

 

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. "He let it happen. They all did."

 

"I know that Barin and Uyi regret never standing up to Shakiri." Neroon searched Marcus' green eyes. "Forgive yourself and forgive them?"

 

Marcus knew it was the truth; the only real way to recover from Shakiri's abuse. "But it's hard..."

 

"But I will be there, right at your side." Neroon rose to his feet and offered Marcus his hand.

 

Sighing, Marcus placed his hand in Neroon's. "Stay close, please? I don't feel up to facing them yet, but I'll try... for you."

 

"I know this is hard on you, beloved, but you will find that they respect you."

 

Marcus clung to Neroon's words as they headed back to the hall. Barin, Uyi, Weyr and Zoun had witnessed Shakiri's cruelty, had seen him collapse in pain and exhaustion. They would never accept him as an equal, merely tolerate him because he was the caste leader's mate, but for Neroon's sake he had to confront them.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus reluctantly shuffled inside, trying to hide behind Neroon's broad back. Having Neroon close calmed him down, but he still felt out of place. Seeing the clan leaders' faces, he flashed back to Shakiri and Sallis. Neroon's hand gently squeezed his and he took heart, sitting down beside Neroon. This is different. Shakiri isn't here and Neroon loves me. He won't ever hurt me like Shakiri did.

 

A servant placed a plate, filled with fruits, in front of him. Cautiously, he looked at Neroon, who was still holding his hand above the dinner table, in plain view of everyone. He ignored the pain in his wrist and ate a peach-like piece of fruit. Neroon smiled, obviously pleased that he was eating and encouraged him to try another. He still avoided making eye contact with most of them; he only glanced at Nasdak now and then.

 

"Marcus?" Uyi tried to catch the elusive green eyes, but Marcus quickly looked away. "We regret that you suffered at Shakiri's hands. We never agreed with him, but... We acted like cowards, unworthy of our caste."

 

Marcus held his breath; he could barely believe that Uyi was apologizing to him. "I hold nothing against you."

 

"No, this needs to be said." Barin sounded determined. "We also regret that you lost the child. We could have saved his life if we had acted honorably."

 

Marcus felt paralyzed now that Barin mentioned the child he had lost. "I don't want to talk about... about my son."

 

Neroon exchanged a look with Barin, pleading with him for understanding. "It is too soon, my friend."

 

"And we respect your pain," said Barin. "We just wanted to offer our condolences."

 

"Marcus nodded, feeling tired. "Neroon, can we please change the subject?"

 

Neroon was tempted to remind Marcus that Barin was merely expressing his support, but reconsidered; his lover had suffered enough and deserved leniency. Looking at Marcus, he found the Ranger trembling, on the verge of fainting. Supportively, he squeezed his lover's hand and tried to distract Marcus by addressing Nasdak. "My son, did you already find a worthy mate?"

 

Marcus' head jerked back in surprise. "Mate?"

 

Neroon nodded once. "Now that Nasdak is the leader of the Star Riders he needs a mate as his side."

 

"Actually, father, I found someone. Her name is Brid and she belongs to our clan... She is beautiful." Nasdak smiled shyly.

 

Neroon returned that smile. "Marcus and I are looking forward to meeting her. Do not keep us waiting too long." Glancing at Marcus, Neroon privately thanked Nasdak for mentioning his love to them. It surely distracted Marcus who looked stunned. "Tell us more about her." He would do anything to keep Marcus from brooding.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus remained quiet and subdued through dinner and Neroon decided to retire early. After saying goodbye to his guests, he walked Marcus back to their quarters. He planned on having a private conversation with Nasdak later, once Marcus was sound asleep.

 

Neroon closed the door behind them and watched Marcus collapse on the improvised bed. Eyes downcast, Marcus looked miserable.

 

"Neroon? Did I... did I do all right?"

 

Neroon's heart contracted painfully. "Marcus..." Sighing, he joined his lover and felt at a loss for words.

 

"I messed up, I know that. I only had to attend dinner and I utterly embarrassed you."

 

Marcus shrunk before his eyes, retreating within himself. "No, Marcus, you did well. I am very proud of you. You faced them, knowing they stood back and let Shakiri abuse you. You were very courageous to face them." Marcus' ashamed expression made him cringe. "You did nothing to embarrass me. I am proud of you."

 

Marcus looked lost and Neroon reacted by pressing a gentle kiss on his lover's lips. "But you look tired; we should get some sleep." Although Marcus still looked unconvinced, the Ranger got up and went in to the bathroom to change for the night.

 

The rage, that had been boiling beneath his calm exterior, surfaced. His hands turned in to fists and Neroon wished he had stopped Shakiri earlier.

 

As Marcus returned, now dressed in soft blue robes, Neroon pushed back his anger and changed his clothing as well. A moment later, he slipped beneath the blankets. Marcus rolled onto his left side, offering him a chance to spoon behind him.

 

He caressed the dark locks, rubbed Marcus' back and tried to warm the cold skin. He offered his silent support, knowing Marcus well enough to know that the Ranger didn't want to talk right now.

 

He continued the caresses until he was certain that Marcus was asleep. After kissing his lover's soft hair, he left the bed and tucked the blankets around Marcus' sleeping form. He would hurry back here after talking to Nasdak.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Father." Nasdak respectfully rose from his chair when Neroon entered. "I hope Marcus is doing better? I did not expect him to be so... hurt."

 

"It is a slow recovery process." Neroon embraced his son. "But I am here to discuss your choice of a mate. Tell me more about her."

 

They sat down in front of the window and Nasdak sighed, glancing at the dark sky, filled with sparkling stars. "I fell in love with her some months ago. I should have told you earlier, but there was no time. Marcus had just entered your life and then we found out about Delenn's orders. I considered telling you when Marcus was with Shakiri, but you were so sad that I did not feel happy myself."

 

"She belongs to the Star Riders' clan?"

 

"Yes, she is Umor's daughter."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "Umor is a well respected warrior." He had met the elderly Minbari on a few occasions. "He belongs to a very old house and most families will approve of you marrying his daughter. You need the clan's permission first though. Summon them, explain everything to them and see if anyone objects."

 

"I already sent out the invitations for the meeting. I was hoping you would be there to support me." Although getting the clan's permission was merely a formality, they could stop him from marrying Brid and he didn't want to take the risk of losing her. With Neroon, their caste leader, backing him up they would give in more easily.

 

"I want to meet her first." He had to be sure that Brid was acceptable as his son's mate.

 

"I will arrange for a meeting," promised Nasdak. Nervously, he made eye contact with his father. "There is something else you need to know."

 

Neroon frowned; Nasdak sounded worried, almost apprehensive. "What?"

 

"Brid is pregnant with my son."

 

Neroon's fingernails buried themselves in the wooden armrest. "Pregnant?" Rationally, he knew he should be congratulating his son, but his heart went out to Marcus after his lover had suffered a miscarriage.

 

"Maybe Brid and I can stay at our residence at Rathor? At least until the child is born? I am worried about Marcus' reaction to seeing her pregnant. It might worsen his own pain." He had come to care greatly about the Ranger and didn't want to expose him to Brid's pregnancy. It would only remind him of the pain he had suffered when he had lost his child.

 

Neroon nodded his head once. "I worry as well. Seeing her pregnant might cause his own pain to awake again and he is still too weak to face his past."

 

"How is Marcus doing? He did not act like himself during dinner, at least during the first half of dinner."

 

"Shakiri always humiliated him during these dinners. He expected history to repeat itself."

 

"That must have hurt you..."

 

Neroon met his son's glance. "I could not believe that he expected me to act like Shakiri. I underestimated the trauma he suffered."

 

The expression in Neroon's eyes told Nasdak that his father wanted to return to his mate and he got to his feet, indicating he was about to leave. Neroon walked him to the doorway and he sighed deeply, hoping his father wouldn't give up on the Ranger. "This will take time, father."

 

Neroon nodded once. "He is strong, Nasdak. Marcus will make a complete recovery."

 

I hope so, father...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus pulled Legs close, hugging the feline tight. He had been alone in bed when he had woken up half an hour ago and he wondered what had driven Neroon out of their bed. He felt lonely, realizing how used he had become to sleeping close to Neroon.

 

Stroking the soft fur, he felt guilty for no longer being intimate with Neroon. They had made love that night when Neroon had taken him home, but since then he had felt distance, not even once encouraging Neroon to make love to him. That had been three weeks ago and although he wanted to feel Neroon inside him, he felt too depressed to actually act on his desires.

 

Maybe that was why Neroon had left; to take care of his personal needs. He cringed at the thought of Neroon jerking off in the bathroom.

 

When did everything go wrong? When Neroon found the lotion, that's when. Being exposed led me to accepting Shakiri's terms and signing that bloody contract. I hate the damn bastard for what he did to me and the baby. Why did I sign? Guilt. I can never get away from it; it follows me everywhere I go and it only deepens.

 

Marcus pulled the blankets closer around his shivering body. Life without Neroon seemed cold and void and he was determined to keep the Minbari pleased. He would behave the way Neroon wanted him and try to read Neroon's moods and act accordingly.

 

The door opened and he quickly closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Neroon lay down behind him and pulled him close. Legs softly mewed her protest, but Marcus didn't react. Apparently Neroon didn't want him to know he had briefly left and he wasn't going to question the Minbari.

 

"You are awake." Neroon was more alert now and realized Marcus was merely pretending.

 

"Yes." Marcus didn't know what Neroon wanted to hear so he grew quiet again.

 

"I had to talk to Nasdak. I am sorry you woke up alone." Neroon tried his best to reassure his lover. "You looked tired and I did not want to bother you... And no, I am not cutting out out. You need the rest."

 

Marcus bit his bottom lip.

 

Neroon suddenly needed to know Marcus still wanted to be with him, and for the first time in three weeks, he licked Marcus' neck and let his hands slip beneath the Ranger's robes to caress the smooth skin, hoping it would lead to making love.

 

At first, Marcus didn't know how to react to Neroon's advances. He really wanted Neroon, but...

 

"Marcus, talk to me. I feel like you are slipping away from me. There is this barrier between us now." He watched Marcus closely, worried how Marcus would interpret his words. "I feel like I cannot reach you any more. I do not want to lose you to Shakiri's ghost."

 

Marcus fought back tears. He hadn't thought that Neroon would be so brutally honest. Encouraged, he turned in the embrace and firmly meet Neroon's dark eyes. "I love you, Neroon, I really do, but... I'm not used to expressing my feelings. I always denied their existence. Since you rescued me I... I don't know what's wrong with me." Marcus searched deep within his soul and then forced himself to admit the truth. "I'm hurting... I never wanted to lose the baby and... I don't know how to act around you. You are all I have left and I can't lose you!"

 

"You will never lose me, Marcus." Neroon opted for action now that words weren't reaching Marcus. He claimed his lover's lips and let his passion speak for him.

 

Marcus hesitated, surprised, but then returned the kiss. Neroon deepened it, let his fingers trail down Marcus' back and loved the smooth feel of his lover's skin. "Do you want to make love tonight?"

 

Marcus smiled. "Yes, but... I doubt I have the necessary energy..."

 

"Then let me pleasure you." The prospect of making love to Marcus thrilled Neroon. "I better place Legs in the chair. We do not want to roll on top of her by accident."

 

Marcus nodded and watched as Neroon climbed out of bed, gathered Legs and placed the sleeping feline on a comfortable pillow in the chair. While returning to the bed, Neroon dropped his robes. Concentrating on his lover, he peeled back the blankets and almost reverently removed Marcus' robes as well.

 

He took in Marcus' haggard appearance. The Ranger was too skinny and his skin tone awfully pale, even in spite of sitting in the gardens. The bandages emphasized his injuries and reminded Neroon that he had to be careful. His fingers bestowed featherlight caresses to Marcus' skin and he worshipped his lover's body that raised to meet his caresses. Licking, caressing and kissing, he rediscovered Marcus' body, taking his time.

 

Marcus had closed his eyes and was hard, leaking pre-ejaculate. He raised his hips in a mute plea and Neroon obliged him, closing his lips around the erect cock.

 

"Oh..." Marcus sighed and his eyes flashed open at the exquisite contact. Looking at Neroon, he briefly forgot to breathe. Going down on him was something Neroon obviously enjoyed, judging from the smug expression on the Minbari's face. "Neroon..."

 

"Yes?" Neroon released the throbbing erection long enough to whisper the word.

 

"Would... would you make love to me? It's been so long since..." Marcus swallowed the rest of his words, reading the same desire in Neroon's eyes.

 

"Yes..." Neroon gave him a thoughtful look. "But your ribs are still causing you discomfort. How about on your side?"

 

"No, I want to see you... I need to see you."

 

Neroon sighed, pleased. "I will be careful." He uncovered the little jar of oil which they used as a lubricant and prepared Marcus carefully. His lover easily took his fingers, feeling relaxed and wanting this as much as he did. "You are ready for me..." Neroon placed his hands on either side of Marcus' head and supported himself, careful not to put any weight on the still healing ribs. "Guide me inside..."

 

Marcus licked his lips, nervously, and reached for Neroon's cock, placing the hard flesh against his entrance. "Now..."

 

Neroon obliged him and pushed inside, gently, slowly. At the same time he claimed his lover's lips, engaging his tongue in a duel. Marcus moaned in to his mouth and he buried himself inside the hot and willing passage. His heavy balls slapped against Marcus' skin and he grinned. "I will never grow tired of making love to you." Marcus' big eyes begged him to end their torment and he began a gentle rhythm, mindful of the bruised ribs.

 

Marcus briefly closed his eyes, and then smiled, feeling Neroon's lips kiss his eyelids. The gentle thrusts massaged his prostate, but they lacked their usual force, prolonging his pleasure. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes and smiled lazily at Neroon. "I don't think we ever went this long."

 

"Do you like it?" Neroon licked beneath Marcus' collarbone, sending shivers down his lover's spine. Marcus' nod caused him to smile. "Stroke yourself. I want us to climax together." He would gladly have pumped Marcus himself, but he needed his hands to support himself. Marcus blushed slightly, but then wrapped his fingers around his cock.

 

Stroking in rhythm with Neroon's thrusts, it took him longer than usual to reach orgasm and when he climaxed it felt much more intense than it normally did. In a reflex, he raised his hips so Neroon's cock battered against his prostate. "Oh yes..."

 

Neroon suckled already bruised skin and gently nipped without drawing any blood. Marcus threw back his head, exposing more of his throat. Neroon accepted and licked the skin, playfully nipping and suckling. Marcus' muscle contracted around him, causing him to reach orgasm himself. "Mar...cus..." He almost collapsed on top of his lover, but kept back. Instead, he gently rolled Marcus on top of him. He parted his legs and Marcus settled between them. He looked up at Marcus and claimed his lover's lips once more.

 

Marcus suddenly found himself on top and Neroon beneath him. The Minbari was still hard and inside him and he slowly realized that Neroon was ready to go again. "Bloody hell, Neroon, I..." He felt wasted, ready to fall asleep and certainly wasn't up for another round, no matter how gently Neroon was.

 

"I will pull out now..." Neroon took his time and left his lover's body. His arms came up behind Marcus' back and he held him close. Marcus had buried his face against his chest and was trembling.

 

"You're still hard..."

 

"It has been three weeks since we last made love..." Neroon brushed some stray locks away from Marcus' face. "I will always desire you."

 

Marcus nervously moistened his lips. "Do you want to make love again?"

 

"No... you are tired and need rest. My erection will fade eventually."

 

Marcus felt a little hesitant, but went ahead with his question anyway. "Would you... take care of that... for me?"

 

Neroon chuckled. "You want to watch? I never knew you were a voyeur, Marcus."

 

"You don't have to do it." Marcus already regretted his question.

 

"No, I like the idea, but you need to roll on to your side first." Neroon maneuvered Marcus on to his right side and then met his lover's eyes. "Now watch."

 

Marcus stared as Neroon stroked himself slowly. "I never thought you'd actually do it."

 

"You were teasing me?" Neroon smiled and played with soft dark locks while pumping himself. The expression in Marcus' eyes told him that they stood stronger now, united after making love. "Give me your hand..." He gently took hold of Marcus' hand, closed the Ranger's fingers around his cock and then covered Marcus' hand with his.

 

Marcus swallowed hard, following Neroon's lead. He leaned in closer and instigated a long kiss. Minutes later, warm come dripped down his fingers and Neroon's sated sex grew lax in his hand. "I love you..."

 

Satiated, Neroon sighed. "We will rest a little longer and then I will prepare a bath. We need to clean up." Not getting an answer from Marcus, he frowned and searched the Ranger's face. "Valen, he is asleep. I worn him down!" Chuckling, he enjoyed holding his lover.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon terminated his call to his son. He had confirmed that he would attend the clan meeting to express his approval of Nasdak courting Brid. However, there was one problem: Umor had offered to hold the meeting at his residence and Marcus wasn't fit to travel the distance yet. That meant he had to leave Marcus alone and he wasn't sure his lover was ready for that.

 

Sighing, he realized that he didn't have a choice. He left his office and headed for his quarters where Marcus was resting after a walk in the gardens. On his way there, he instructed a servant to gather his staff members and to tell them to meet him in his quarters.

 

Neroon entered his rooms and found Marcus sitting on the balcony, bathing in warm sun light. He was massaging the kitten's little paws. Pleased, he noticed that Marcus looked better this morning. Making love had lifted his spirits. "Good morning, beloved." Neroon came to a halt behind Marcus' chair and pressed a kiss on his mate's hair.

 

"Morning, Neroon." Marcus smiled brilliantly and leaned into the caress.

 

Neroon pulled up a chair and sat down, watching Marcus. His mate's expression pleased him. "You look well today. Rested... and you are smiling."

 

"I feel better... Thanks to last night. I really missed... You know... Making love." Marcus placed Legs on the floor. "Off you go."

 

Neroon frowned. "She seems more balanced and her right paw is back at the correct angle." The stumbling had lessened.

 

Marcus observed the kitten and reached the same conclusion. "Maybe massaging her ligaments is paying off?" Marcus called Legs and she ran over to him, still stumbling, but more balanced than before.

 

Neroon drew in a deep breath, not looking forward to informing Marcus about the upcoming meeting he had to attend. "I need to tell you something." He hated the way Marcus' eyes lost their sparkle.

 

"Something bad?" Marcus had spent the morning in his personal heaven and was coming down hard.

 

"No," said Neroon, trying to reassure Marcus. "But clan matters require my presence at Kador. And I need to find out if Brid is the right mate for my son before I can make any arrangements for Nasdak's wedding ceremony."

 

Marcus wrung his hands, which were twitching nervously. Neroon was leaving and he couldn't bear the thought of being alone at night. The nightmares would surely return, but he couldn't ask Neroon to stay; the clan and most certainly Nasdak came first. Neroon was caste leader and it was his duty to lead his men. "Tell Nasdak I'm happy he found someone. I'm sure they'll be happy."

 

"I will convey them your congratulations." Neroon tried to find the best way to tell Marcus what was expected of him. "During my absence my staff will assist you."

 

"Huh?" Puzzled, Marcus locked eyes with Neroon. "Your staff? Assist me? Why?"

 

"You will be in charge here after I leave." Neroon chuckled softly, seeing the disbelief in Marcus' eyes. "This is a rather large estate, nearly five hundred Minbari live here and they require guidance." A knock on the door interrupted him. "Enter." Neroon observed Marcus while his confidants joined them on the balcony.

 

"Neroon?" Marcus recognized Valorum, but the other three Minbari were strangers to him.

 

"You already know Valorum; he is the head of my medical staff. To his right is Seel, my second in command."

 

Seel nodded once. He wore the traditional warrior outfit and his bonecrest had been sharpened and looked aggressive. Marcus felt intimidated and tried to hide his feelings of unease. Seel reminded him just a little bit too much of Sallis.

 

"If you encounter any problems with our defenses or communications consult Seel." Neroon ignored Marcus' apparent unease, hoping his mate would grow more confident in time. "This is Rom, she is in charge of the household. You can turn to her in case there are any unexpected guests. She will also consult you about meals and the food supplies. And Jana here will be your personal assistant and secretary. Should you wish to contact me Jana will arrange for it."

 

All four Minbari respectfully bowed and Marcus felt shy and embarrassed. "Neroon, can we talk? In private?"

 

"Thank you for joining us," said Neroon, dismissing his staff. "Marcus will contact you shortly."

 

The four Minbari exited the rooms, leaving them alone.

 

"Neroon, what do you think you're doing? You can't put me in charge! Neroon, I know nothing of..."

 

"Marcus." Neroon quickly silenced him. "You will do excellently. My assistants will help you, and you are perfectly capable of managing my household."

 

"I'm not so sure, Neroon." Marcus felt distressed. "I'm human, Neroon, human. They won't take orders from me!"

 

"Marcus, stop doubting yourself! There is no reason for you to feel this insecure!"

 

"You don't understand!" A distant look appeared in Marcus' eyes. "I can't be in charge! I always screw up. I'll get them killed."

 

Neroon acted, hearing the frantic, panicking tone in Marcus' voice. "You won't get anyone killed, Marcus. Why do you think that?" How had Marcus reached that conclusion?

 

"But it happened before!" Marcus grabbed Neroon's hands. "It will happen again!"

 

Neroon realized that Marcus was finally revealing bits and pieces of his past to him and it had probably something to do with those feelings of guilt Marcus had hinted at earlier. "What happened? Who died?"

 

Marcus suddenly felt unable to breathe. Oh God, what had he done? What had he said? Neroon's hand rubbed his, encouraging him, but he couldn't confess his horrible mistakes.

 

"Marcus, please trust me. Confide in me. I am here for you." Neroon hoped Marcus would entrust his pain to him.

 

Marcus drew in a deep breath. Could he tell Neroon the horrible truth? Delenn was the only one he had ever confided in. Neroon respected him now, but would the Minbari still feel that way later? "I was in charge of a mining colony on Arisia. My brother, William, had joined the Rangers and returned to negotiate a contract on their behalf. He also warned me that the Shadows would attack the colony, but I ignored his warning." Marcus closed his eyes, reliving horrid memories. "Willie died in my arms and none of my workers survived." Oh, Hasina, I am so sorry you died! "I was the sole survivor."

 

Neroon gently squeezed Marcus' hand in sympathy. Survivor guilt, that explains his feelings. "I did not know about your past and I am truly sorry you lost your brother and your men."

 

"That's why I can't be in charge, Neroon. I joined the Rangers because I couldn't be responsible any longer; the only thing I do now is follow orders and then you came along. You changed everything." Marcus was at a loss. "Put Valorum in charge, or Seel!"

 

"No, I am putting you in charge and no one else." Marcus needed to experience success after his presumed failures. "I will only be gone for a few days and I have the utmost confidence in you."

 

"You're making a mistake." Marcus shook his head, realizing Neroon wouldn't change his mind. Legs managed to climb onto his lap and seemed surprised when she didn't topple over. Marcus smiled, saddened. "You're a good girl, Legs." But his thoughts were no longer with the kitten's progress. Neroon had put him in charge and he would mess up. He always did.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon's aides had packed his belongings for his trip and a pilot was already checking the flyer for lift off. It was time to say goodbye to Marcus. Neroon was surprised at how hard that was.

 

"Marcus?" He walked over to his mate, who was staring out of the window, back turned toward him. Marcus was still displeased that he had been put in charge.

 

Marcus turned around and failed to hide his unease. He nearly begged Neroon to stay, but didn't. "Don't stay away too long?"

 

"I will always hurry back to you." Neroon folded his arms around Marcus and held him close. "I will be back soon."

 

Marcus didn't trust his voice and simply returned the hug. "I miss you already."

 

A knock on the door announced Seel's arrival. Neroon had instructed his second in command to keep a close eye on his mate. "I will be back within the week."

 

Marcus swallowed nervously; he had to let Neroon go. "Tell Nasdak I miss having him around."

 

Neroon nodded once, turned around and marched out of the room without looking back.

 

Marcus felt alone and not even Legs' purrs managed to distract him. He had a bad feeling about this.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus felt distinctly uncomfortable sitting behind Neroon's desk, reading reports that were meant for Neroon's eyes only. Jana had translated them into Standard so he could read them, but it still didn't feel right.

 

Seel guarded the door and was getting on his nerves. Seel had been close since Neroon had left, never letting him out of sight for long. At night, he heard guards take up position in front of his door and he began to feel like a prisoner all over again.

 

"Marcus, may I enter?"

 

"Yes, Valorum." He had expected the healer to show up. His appetite had left with Neroon and the healer had noticed.

 

Valorum entered and bowed. "You should rest for a while. You have been in here for hours."

 

"I'm fine!" Marcus immediately regretting snapping at Valorum like that.

 

"You miss Neroon."

 

"Yes... I do." Marcus leaned back in his chair and hissed as his mending ribs protested. "And Seel's making me nervous. Can't he leave me alone?"

 

Valorum signaled Seel to step outside and then sat down in front of the desk. "Is his presence evoking memories of Sallis?" That had never been Neroon's intention.

 

Feeling caught, Marcus nodded his head. "It's like I traded Shakiri's rooms for Neroon's. I know it's not true but..."

 

"That is the way you feel and it is understandable. Did you tell Seel that this is troubling you?"

 

"No..." Marcus looked up apologetically. "I know their attitude. They're following Neroon's orders... not mine."

 

"And that is where you are mistaken..." Valorum gave Marcus a long and thoughtful look. "Please call Seel back inside for me."

 

Marcus wrung his hands. "Valorum..."

 

"Just do it, Marcus."

 

Marcus sighed, giving in. "Seel? Could you join us?"

 

The door opened and Seel stepped back into the room. After bowing his head, he stood there, waiting.

 

"Now tell him what you just told me," Valorum instructed. "Seel cannot read your mind, he is not a telepath."

 

Bloody hell, was Valorum really making him do this? He looked pleadingly at the elderly healer, but Valorum was waiting for him to address Seel. Bugger, the old Minbari wasn't giving him a way out! He couldn't tell Seel about Sallis, but Valorum wouldn't leave until he had done so. In a trembling tone he finally found the courage to address Seel. "I... I don't feel comfortable with you being so close all the time. You remind me of a time when..." Valorum nodded his head, encouraging him to continue. "When Sallis guarded my every step." There, he had said it. Now Seel had lost the little respect he had for him.

 

Seel remained quiet and Marcus feared having insulted the warrior. Seel was Neroon's second in command and he didn't want to offend the man. He was about to apologize when Seel spoke first.

 

"I should have known, but Neroon entrusted me with your safety and I take my responsibilities very seriously. But I understand that this situation reminds you of Sallis guarding you. I was there when Nasdak launched his rescue attempt."

 

"You were?" Marcus frowned. "I don't remember a thing about that day. I only vaguely recall falling..."

 

"I will try to be more discreet, but I will make sure that you are safe."

 

Marcus nodded once. Knowing that Seel had participated in his rescue made the warrior more sympathetic. "And I will try to accept your presence..."

 

Seel bowed again. "Do you wish me to take up position in the corridor or in here?"

 

Marcus hesitated. Now that they had had this conversation he didn't feel that edgy anymore, but... "In the corridor?" He did need a little privacy.

 

"As you wish." Seel turned around and left the room.

 

"Was that as hard as you thought it would be?" asked Valorum. "Seel is a respected warrior, one of Neroon's oldest friends. He would never let harm come to you."

 

"I feel better now." Marcus felt grateful that Valorum had made him do this. "Sometimes it's hard to distinguish the present from the past."

 

"I understand, Marcus." Valorum got back to his feet. "And now I want to check your ribs and wrist. If the results are satisfactory you can do without the bandages. After the examination I want you to rest."

 

Marcus gave in gracefully, knowing better than to defy the old healer.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Marcus?" Jana waited for Marcus' permission to approach him. "I am sorry to disturb you when you are resting, but..."

 

Marcus signaled the young Minbari to come closer. Valorum had removed his bandages and he still felt a little apprehensive moving about without their support. "What is it?"

 

Jana nodded his head. "I just received a message from Barin. He is on his way here and requests your hospitality. He would like to talk to you and spend the night here."

 

"Barin?" Barin was one of the clan leaders, an elderly Minbari who seemed to like him, but he feared that the kindness was merely an act. "Did you tell him that Neroon isn't here?" Marcus finally got up from the bed and bit his bottom lip when his ribs twitched in his chest. Maybe he still needed those supportive bandages after all.

 

"Yes, Barin knows that. He requested to talk to you specifically."

 

"Shouldn't Barin be at that meeting Neroon's attending?"

 

"No, only Star Riders are required to attend it. I need to send Barin a reply. What do you want me to say?"

 

Marcus sighed. He couldn't turn Barin away. "Tell him that he's welcome here and that I would like to have dinner with him." He checked Jana's expression, trying to find out if he had given the correct answer. When Jana smiled, Marcus felt relieved. The Minbari left to carry out his orders and Marcus contacted Rom. He told her to prepare guest quarters for Barin and his guards and to make sure dinner included dishes Barin liked. Rom had made lists of all the clan leaders' favorite foods.

 

After making all necessary arrangements, Marcus leaned back in his chair and longingly looked at his bed. Once his ribs were completely healed, Neroon would probably replace it with a traditional sleeping platform, which would cause him back aches. Oh well, it was a small price to pay. And now Barin was on his way to see him. Why him? Why not Neroon? Feeling apprehensive, he picked up Legs from the floor and patted her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Seel's presence this time soothed him instead of making him nervous. Seel had offered to stay close during Barin's visit and he had welcomed the suggestion. "Please don't let me screw up..."

 

"Marcus?" Seel frowned, hearing Marcus' words. "Is something wrong?"

 

"No." Marcus hadn't realized he had spoken those words aloud. 'I'm just nervous." Seeing Seel's nod, he cringed. Apparently Seel expected him to be nervous. Even Valorum had offered to join them for dinner, but Marcus had declined, not wanting to appear weak in front of Barin. They grew quiet while Barin's flyer landed. Marcus pulled the robes closer to his body. Although his first reaction had been to dress in a Ranger's uniform, he had changed his mind later. The black robes were way more comfortable and this wasn't a formal visit.

 

Barin exited the flyer and approached them. "Marcus, Seel..."

 

Marcus bowed slightly and barely kept back the hiss as his ribs protested. "I welcome you to Neroon's residence."

 

Barin frowned, but didn't voice his thoughts. Instead he said, "Thank you, Marcus. I look forward to have dinner with you."

 

Marcus grew pale; something about Barin made him alert. "Please follow me inside." Seel stayed close the entire time, guarding him and Marcus suddenly realized that he was the only human here. It hit him like a wave of icy cold water and he began to tremble. Fortunately they had reached the dinner hall and Barin took his seat opposite him while Seel remained at the doorway. Rom appeared and served an appetizer and tea.

 

Barin sipped his tea and sighed. "It is good to see you again. You seem to be recovering nicely."

 

Marcus blushed. "Thank you. Neroon takes good care of me." And where was Neroon now when he needed him? "I was quite surprised when I received your message. Neroon isn't here so if you came to talk to him..."

 

"No, I am here to see you." Barin sounded firm and determined. "I am here to warn you."

 

Marcus' hand shook and he quickly placed his glass on the dinner table. "Warn me?" What was this about?

 

"Sallis is on the loose and reports reached me that he plans to extract his revenge on Neroon and you." Barin carefully studied Marcus. "I do not know who he will target first."

 

"Neroon," said Marcus, convinced. "Seel, send Neroon a warning. Tell him to be careful."

 

"Seel, stay. I already informed Neroon and he replied that he would be careful. I am here to offer you my protection if you need it." Marcus' eyes went from shocked to surprised. "Neroon did not ask me to come here and keep you safe, I volunteered. There is a debt of honor between us and I intend to make up for my former cowardice."

 

"You don't have to stay. Seel is perfectly capable of keeping me safe." Marcus refused to ponder the emotions running through him. Sallis was on the loose and might be headed here! Sallis had tormented him more brutally than Shakiri ever had. Shakiri liked to humiliate him, but Sallis had been the one who had delighted in inflicting physical pain.

 

"Marcus?" Seel reached out and placed his hand on Marcus' arm. The Ranger jumped back, shaking it off and Seel realized he had to keep his distance. "I will increase the number of guards. We will be very careful."

 

Marcus absentmindedly nodded his head. Sallis... He hoped Sallis would come for him first. Then Seel could take out Sallis and Neroon would be safe. It didn't matter if he got hurt in the process as long as Neroon was safe!

 

The rest of the dinner passed in silence. Each man was busy sorting out his thoughts. As the dinner came to an end, Marcus thanked Barin for the warning and then excused himself. Seel followed him to his rooms, but he hardly noticed the Minbari. Once inside his quarters, he contacted Jana. "I want to talk to Neroon."

 

Jana immediately supplied the connection and Marcus sighed relieved, seeing Neroon's face on screen. "I was worried Sallis had gotten to you."

 

"Barin told you?" Neroon tried to appear calm, but he desperately wanted to return home. The meeting would end tomorrow, but he wouldn't reach his home for another day and that meant Marcus was alone with his fears.

 

"Barin's here..."

 

"He is?" Neroon frowned. "I did not expect him to join you, but I approve of it."

 

"Neroon, are you all right?" Marcus barely refrained from placing the palm of his hand on the screen in an attempt to make contact with Neroon.

 

"I am fine. I am quite safe here, surrounded by my clansmen. That is why I suspect Sallis will come for you first. You have to be careful, Marcus. Make sure Seel is close at all times. Where is he now?"

 

"In the corridor."

 

"Marcus, you need to let him inside otherwise he cannot guard you properly." Something in Marcus' eyes alerted him and he recalled what Valorum had told him. "I am sorry that his presence brought back unpleasant memories, but you need to allow him close."

 

Marcus wasn't surprised that Valorum had informed Neroon, it was the healer's duty to update his caste leader. "He reminds me of Sallis..."

 

"But his duty is to guard you. Give him the opportunity to carry out his task."

 

Marcus nodded. "I'll let him in after we terminated the call."

 

"How are you doing, Marcus? I am sorry I cannot be with you."

 

"I miss you..." Marcus straightened out his shoulders. "So what about Brid? Do you like her?"

 

"Yes, she will make a good mate for my son and the clan has approved of the wedding."

 

"When will the ceremony take place?" He would like to attend it.

 

"In one week." Brid was pregnant and Minbari custom required they married as quickly as possible. "Marcus, be careful and trust in Seel."

 

"I will..." Marcus wanted to add something, but a Minbari walked up to Neroon, blocking his view.

 

"Marcus, I have to end our conversation. I will contact you tomorrow before I leave for home."

 

"Neroon... I love you..."

 

Neroon smiled. "I love you as well."

 

Marcus terminated his call and remembered his promise. "Seel?" The Minbari stepped inside, obviously puzzled. "I talked to Neroon and he thinks Sallis might be headed here first. He wants you to stay close to me and..."

 

"Yes?"

 

"You may stay here. You can't guard me efficiently when standing in the corridor."

 

"I won't bother you, Marcus. You won't even notice I am here."

 

"I doubt that..." Marcus disappeared into the bathroom to change his clothes for the night. Tomorrow he would indulge himself in a long, hot shower. He was too tried to do that now. Stepping out of the bathroom, he found Seel talking to Jana. Ignoring them, he headed for the bed, where Legs had already curled up.

 

"Marcus, before you retire for the night..." Seel hurried toward Marcus and Jana left the room. "Keep this close, just in case."

 

Marcus wondered what Seel was placing into his hand. It's a pike... but it's not mine. This cylinder is decorated with the sign of the Star Riders. I don't even know if I can wield it. My wrist still isn't a hundred percent and my ribs... Not wanting to appear ungrateful, he whispered a thank you. Slipping beneath the blankets, he tried to forget that Seel would be inside his quarters for the rest of the night. He pulled Legs close and she nestled in the crook of his arm purring pleased. Sleep came quicker than he had expected.

 

Seel stood guard over the sleeping Ranger, determined to take out Sallis should the Wind Sword dare to attack Marcus.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus' eyes suddenly flashed open as a hand covered his mouth. What? Startled, his eyes quickly adapted to the darkness and he identified the Minbari towering over him. No, it can't be Sallis! Seel would stop him! But there was no denying that it was Sallis who was silencing him. He struggled, tried to kick off the covers and escape Sallis' hold, but the Minbari was so much stronger! Sallis' other hand gained a vice-like grip on his throat, slowly suffocating him. No, I refuse to die! I don't want to die like this! The closed pike was still in his hand and Sallis had made the mistake not to restrain his wrists. Raising his hand, he pressed the hidden mechanism which opened the pike. One end hit Sallis hard in his chest and sent him onto the floor.

 

Ignoring the pain in his chest and wrist, Marcus jumped to his feet and increased the distance between him and his attacker. He registered Seel's fallen body near the doorway, and a small pool of blood was forming beneath him. Sallis must have taken him by surprise. How am I supposed to take him out? I can't even fight properly. His only chance was reaching the doorway and fleeing into the corridor to find help, but Sallis blocked his escape route. 

 

"First, I will take out you and then Neroon. He is the worst traitor. He killed another Minbari! Killed Shakiri over you!" Sallis' eyes flashed dangerously in the dark. "I will make sure you suffer before releasing your last breath."

 

Marcus didn't have the time to worry or to feel scared. He had to save himself! Sallis attacked and he awkwardly managed to block. Sallis had moved away from the doorway and Marcus realized this might be his only chance. Running away from Sallis, he reached the door and opened it. Suddenly, Sallis threw his pike like a spear and it hit him in the back, toppling him over and sending him face first to the floor.

 

"Bloody hell! I need some help in here!" Marcus heard Seel moan and saw that the warrior was trying to get back to his feet. "Stay down, damn it! You're injured!" He couldn't protect Seel if Sallis decided to take him out first!

 

Suddenly, footfalls echoed in the corridor and Marcus hoped someone had heard his cry for help. Looking over his shoulder, he found that Sallis was still advancing on him. Sallis picked up his pike and aimed the butt end, ready to deliver a lethal blow. Marcus lacked the strength to react and closed his eyes, realizing resisting wouldn't get him anywhere.

 

"Stop it." Barin's calm voice filled the corridor. His pike caught the blow Sallis aimed at Marcus' head. "I said stop it!"

 

"No." Sallis shook his head. "He must die."

 

"I will stop you."

 

"You are an old man," Sallis sneered. "Leave."

 

Marcus had managed to catch his breath and found that Seel was sneaking up behind Sallis. Lying on the floor, there was not much he could do and his back hurt like hell.

 

Seel and Barin exchanged a glance and carried out an attack at the same time. Barin landed a blow to Sallis' head, knocking him unconscious. "Not bad for an old man," cracked Barin.

 

Now that Sallis was unconscious, Seel quickly contacted his guards and then slid down the wall, leaving a bloody trail behind on the bricks.

 

Marcus scrambled to his feet and made his way over to Seel, ignoring the burning pain in his lower back. Jana was the first to reach them and Marcus yelled at him. "We need Valorum... And take Sallis away. Make sure he can't escape. Don't stand there, move!"

 

Jana sprung in to action, carrying out Marcus' orders. Barin moved over to Marcus while one of the arrived guards monitored Sallis. "Marcus, how badly injured are you?"

 

"I'm all right. You should worry about Seel instead of me!" Seel was bleeding and he only had a back ache!

 

Valorum quickly arrived and directed his healers to take care of Seel while he personally looked after Marcus. The guards arrested Sallis and took him away. Barin still stood protectively over Marcus, making sure no one would hurt the Ranger.

 

"Seel will be just fine," said Valorum, trying to reassure Marcus. "Minbari tend to heal quickly." His healers carried Seel to the medical facility to examine him further. "Now let me have a look at you." Valorum waited for Marcus to sit down on the floor and then checked the Ranger's vital signs. "Did Sallis hurt you?"

 

"My back, but... I can deal with it."

 

"Lean against me," instructed Valorum while running a medical scanner along Marcus' back. "You managed to break one rib, Marcus and there's severe bruising."

 

Marcus felt vulnerable, leaning against Valorum like this and tried to get back to his feet. However, a wave of vertigo hit him, and nearly made him throw up dinner.

 

"Barin, help me. Marcus needs to go to the medical facility." Valorum worried about the new injury.

 

Barin wrapped one arm around Marcus and together they managed to pull Marcus to his feet.

 

"How did he get inside?" Marcus' brow grew knitted. "He managed to take out Seel..."

 

"I will find out," promised Barin. "But you need to rest now. Let us worry and rest instead."

 

Marcus allowed them to take him to the medical facility. Several healers were fussing over Seel and his worries increased. "How bad is he?"

 

"He suffered a punctured lung," said Jalai, "but he will recover in time." The young healer concentrated on treating Seel's injuries.

 

Valorum steered Marcus to a private exam room where he helped the Ranger lie down. "I need to examine you more closely."

 

Marcus closed his eyes and let Valorum run his tests. The adrenaline was wearing off, causing him to faint.

 

"I will inform Neroon," offered Barin. "He is probably worried."

 

Valorum nodded his head. "Reassure Neroon. I will tend to Marcus' injuries."

 

Barin left the medical facility and contacted Neroon. The other man's features were worried, seeing who was contacting him.

 

"Barin?"

 

"Neroon, I am afraid that I have some bad news for you."

 

"Did something happen to Marcus?" Neroon shifted in his chair. Damn this meeting! He should have been at Marcus' side to protect his mate!

 

"Sallis found a way inside and attacked him, but Marcus bravely fought him. Sallis is in our custody and Marcus merely suffered a broken rib."

 

Neroon sighed relieved. "Thank Valen."

 

"Seel however suffered a punctured lung and probably needs surgery."

 

Neroon gravely nodded his head. "I want to know how Sallis managed to get to Marcus."

 

"I will look in to it. Do you want me to stay until you return?"

 

"Yes." Neroon nodded once. "I will arrive late this evening. Stay with Marcus if you can."

 

"I will," promised Barin. "Marcus is safe now."

 

"I hope so."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus woke several hours later and flinched, realizing he was back at the medical facility. Looking about, he realized that he was alone and swung his feet onto the floor. Ouch, that hurt... Damn, the bandages around his ribcage were back! Now his memories returned as well. Sallis had tried to kill him and Seel had gotten injured in the process. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he stumbled out of the room. A guard immediately joined him and Marcus realized he had been monitored the entire time. "How is Seel?"

 

Valorum nodded his head. "Already recovering. Do you wish to see him?"

 

"I don't want to disturb him."

 

"Seel is asleep. If you are quiet you won't wake him." Valorum guided Marcus to Seel's room.

 

Marcus sighed, seeing Seel sound asleep. "He will make a complete recovery?"

 

"Yes."

 

Marcus leaned against the wall. "Can I return to my quarters now?"

 

"No, they are being cleaned."

 

Of course, they had to remove Seel's blood. "Is there anywhere else I can stay?"

 

"Yes, here, until Neroon returns."

 

"And what about Legs?"

 

"Rom is taking care of the Gok." Valorum gently guided Marcus back to the exam room. "Lie down and sleep. The next time you wake up Neroon will be here."

 

Valorum's advice was tempting and he closed his eyes. "Thank you... And I should thank Barin as well."

 

Valorum smiled. "You will get your chance to talk to Barin later, now rest."

 

Marcus drifted off into sleep, dreaming of Neroon.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Where is he?" Neroon marched in to the medical facility. Jana had met him at the landing site and had informed him that Marcus was still at the medical facility.

 

Valorum hurried to meet Neroon. "Marcus is resting and I do not want you to wake him!"

 

Neroon halted in his tracks and calmed down. "I need to see him."

 

"Of course." Valorum opened the door and Neroon stepped inside.

 

"Marcus..." Neroon pulled up a chair and sat down at his mate's side. Part of the Ranger's chest was exposed and bruises had begun to form on the smooth skin. "I should never have left without you." But Marcus remained asleep, unable to give Neroon the absolution he craved.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Marcus finally opened his eyes, he immediately noticed the weight on his thigh. It was Neroon's head; the Minbari had fallen asleep while resting his head on his leg, careful not to put pressure on his bruises. "You're back..."

 

Marcus' words woke Neroon and his eyes dashed open. "Marcus..." He sat upright and drew in a deep breath. "I was so worried about you."

 

"I'm all right, except for the broken rib. Why do people always target my ribs? I’ve got other body parts as well!" Marcus tried to sound unconcerned and he did feel better now that Neroon was back at his side. "This means we get to keep the bed a little longer?"

 

"If that is what you want." Neroon frowned. Why would Marcus' first thought be about their bed? He would figure it out later. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Tired. I always wonder if Valorum doesn't slip me sleeping meds when I'm in here. When can I leave?"

 

"Once you are rested... in a few hours. I need to check on our rooms first."

 

"How is Seel?"

 

"Already on his feet again. He feels rather guilty for letting Sallis get to you."

 

Marcus smiled saddened. "Tell him that he shouldn't feel guilty. Sallis probably surprised him." Growing uncomfortable discussing Sallis, he changed their topic. "Tell me more about Brid and the wedding. Where and when will it take place?"

 

"Here and in one week." Neroon smiled, seeing Marcus' pleased expression. "Yes, you can attend, even more, you are required to attend as my mate."

 

Marcus nodded his head. "I hope they'll be happy..."

 

Neroon almost told Marcus that Brid was pregnant, but decided to wait for a better opportunity when his mate wasn't hurting this much. He had no idea how Marcus would react to that news, and he wasn't looking forward to finding out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

One week later.

 

Everyone was busy preparing for the wedding ceremony that would be conducted here tonight. Nasdak and Brid were supposed to arrive within the hour and he still had to tell Marcus that she was pregnant. He just hadn't found a way yet to bring it up, but now he was running out of time.

 

Marcus sat on the balcony, nursing his tea and stroking Legs' fur. The Gok purred, pleased by all the attention she was getting. Neroon sat down beside his mate and admired the sunset as well.

 

"Everything should be ready for Nasdak and Brid. Rom prepared rooms for them and the guests, and made an excellent dish for dinner. Seel assured me security is at maximum and the priest who will perform the ceremony arrived as well."

 

Neroon nodded, pleased. After his return he had asked Marcus to continue to care for his household and the Ranger had finally gotten comfortable with being in charge. That gave him more time to attend to caste matters. "Marcus, you did an excellent job." Marcus blushed and Neroon still felt amazed at finding out how vulnerable his mate was at times. A mere compliment made Marcus blush!

 

"Thank you. I hope the bride and groom will like everything as well." Marcus looked up and smiled at Neroon. Raising his hand, he gently caressed Neroon's face.

 

Neroon swallowed hard. "I need to tell you something."

 

Marcus' hand dropped. "What?"

 

"It is about Brid." Neroon wished he knew what Marcus' reaction would be like. No matter what happened, he would be there for his mate. "She is pregnant."

 

Marcus closed his eyes. I should have expected something like that. Glancing at Neroon's expression, he found unease in the dark eyes. "Then I should congratulate her when I meet her."

 

"Marcus? They will take up residence in Rathor..."

 

"They won't live here?" He hadn't known that.

 

"I was not sure if you could deal with... with seeing her pregnant after... after your miscarriage." Neroon hardly ever stumbled over his words, but he felt nervous now.

 

"I understand..." Marcus' tone was emotionless. "I hope she will enjoy her pregnancy and give birth to a healthy child. Nasdak's a very lucky man."

 

"Marcus..."

 

"No," said Marcus, raising his hand to stop Neroon. "Don't say it. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault I lost my child."

 

"Neroon? Marcus?" Jana shuffled inside, regretting interrupting when there were tears in Marcus' eyes. "Nasdak and Brid just arrived."

 

"Thank you," said Neroon, while getting to his feet. "Marcus, do you need a moment or...?"

 

"I'll accompany you. Jana, would you keep an eye on Legs?"

 

Jana nodded his head. "Yes."

 

Marcus and Neroon left their quarters and headed for the great hall where the ceremony would take place. Marcus felt empty inside, like his emotions had been erased from his mind. Brid was pregnant, and would be a mother soon, Nasdak a father... Don't do this to yourself! Focus on their happiness, not on your misery. You lost your son... be happy for them that they get this chance to experience parenthood. But a gloomy darkness moved throughout his soul, spreading pain and sorrow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Nasdak and Brid were inspecting the hall and finding it to their liking. Several guests swarmed around them, offering congratulations. Nasdak searched the crowd and finally discovered Neroon and Marcus. "They are here." He exchanged a look with Brid. Although he hadn't asked his father's permission, he had told Brid bits and pieces of what had happened to Marcus.

 

Brid felt nervous. She had met Neroon before, had talked to him in depth and he had approved of their wedding, but she had never met Marcus. Once she met the Ranger's green eyes, she sensed the pain and loss in them. Losing a child would be hard on anyone, no matter what gender they were. She bowed respectfully and felt Marcus' eyes on her abdomen. She didn't show yet, but it was obvious that Marcus knew she was pregnant.

 

Nasdak addressed them, breaking the silence. "Father, Marcus, this is Brid."

 

Neroon inclined his head and Marcus felt at a loss. What was he supposed to say or do? "I hope you'll have a great day." It sounded stupid and he chided himself for speaking up without thinking it over.

 

"The hall looks perfect," said Brid, surprised to find Marcus this nervous. "We are honored that you will attend the ceremony."

 

Marcus instinctively liked her, but her pregnancy made him wary. He didn't want to grow attached to her; he wasn't ready yet to face his past, the child he had lost. She didn't need him around, spreading depression and he took a step back. "You're marrying Neroon's son, I hope you know he can be stubborn, just like his father." He was babbling, speaking nonsense and he just had to get away from her.

 

"We need to prepare as well, change our clothes." Neroon had registered Marcus' discomfort and steered him toward the exit. "We will join you when the ceremony starts."

 

Brid stared at them until they had vanished from sight. "I like Marcus."

 

"And I am sure he likes you." Nasdak held her hand, gently stroking her skin. "But he is still recovering from losing his child."

 

Brid nodded her head. "I cannot imagine losing our son, Nasdak. My heart goes out to him."

 

Nasdak gently squeezed her hand. "Give him time..."

 

Brid frowned. "He needs more than time, he needs love."

 

"My father loves him..."

 

Brid had seen the affection in Neroon's dark eyes. "Maybe when the time is right, Marcus will find the courage to try again?"

 

Nasdak shook his head. "I cannot imagine Marcus going through pregnancy again. He has been hurt too deeply..."

 

Brid remained quiet, wrapped an arm around her waist and cherished the new life growing inside her.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

During the ceremony Neroon kept an arm wrapped around Marcus' waist. It was custom for all guests to remain standing throughout the ceremony, but the broken rib made things painful for Marcus. "Lean against me."

 

Marcus did. He hated feeling this weak, but his body didn't allow him a choice. Leaning against Neroon, he watched the ceremony with a smile on his face. "They look happy." He flashed back to his own 'wedding ceremony' when Shakiri had demanded his complete submission. Nasdak and Brid exchanged looks, caresses and would speak their vows in a few moments.

 

Neroon wondered about the tone of Marcus' voice and then his thoughts went in the same direction as his lover's. He had witnessed Shakiri accepting a docile Marcus as his mate and then dismissing him. And I never bothered with vows or ceremony myself. Holding him in my arms was more important than speaking the official words.

 

"Neroon?" Marcus had felt Neroon tense up against him and tried to catch his lover's gaze. "Is something wrong?" Brid began speaking her vow and he grew quiet, not wanting to miss the moment.

 

Neroon quickly reached a decision. He whispered the words into Marcus' ear, making sure only his lover heard them. "I love you, Marcus. I will cherish, love, respect and protect you until death parts us. My heart and my Den'bok are yours to command. I will never desert you. My heart belongs to you. Please accept my love and keep it safe."

 

Marcus' eyes widened, looking at Neroon. "What?" A moment later, Nasdak spoke the same words to Brid and Marcus' eyes filled with tears. Neroon had just officially made him his mate in the only way that really counted to him, by pledging himself to him. "Oh, Neroon, I don't know what to say..." At a loss, he stared in to Neroon's draped eyes.

 

"Then do not say a thing right now... I owed you that. I took you as my mate without ever pledging myself to you." Neroon watched Nasdak and Brid closely. "I think you are right. They will be happy."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Nasdak and Brid left for Rathor the next morning. Saying goodbye had been a rather emotional affair. Marcus really hated to see them go, and would have liked them to stay a little longer, but he understand that the newly married couple wanted some time alone. Neroon had hugged his son and daughter and had walked them to the flyer.

 

Marcus sighed, watching the flyer disappear from view. Neroon hugged him close and he rested his head on Neroon's shoulder. "Now it's just me and you."

 

"Yes, at last," sighed Neroon, pleased. "Do not forget that you have to check in with Valorum so he can examine your ribs."

 

"I am getting so tired of that. Why my ribs? You targeted my ribs, Sallis did... twice and... By the way, what happened to Sallis?"

 

"I handed him over to Weyr and he promised to punish Sallis. The warrior council will probably banish Sallis for (life)."

 

"So Sallis won't be back?"

 

"No." Neroon smiled and kissed his lover. "Let us go inside now. You need to see Valorum and I need to talk to Jana."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Eight months later.

 

Marcus couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous before and he knew Neroon probably felt even worse. "You are a grandfather now," teased Marcus. "Doesn't that make you feel old?" Brid had given birth to a boy this morning and they had immediately traveled to Rathor to congratulate the parents. Pacing the hall, they waited for Nasdak to greet them. Although he felt extremely apprehensive about seeing the baby, he had let Neroon convince him to come along and share their joy. He still felt like an outsider and that would probably remain so, being the only human in this family.

 

"Neroon?" Neroon was staring at him and Marcus ginned. "You're spacing out on me!" He had learned a lot about Neroon during the nine months that they had been living together at the Minbari's estate. At times, it was hard to believe that he had been Shakiri's prisoner once. But he carried the scars on his body and in his mind and they were a constant reminder of what had happened to him.

 

Amused, Marcus looked at Neroon, who was aggressively pacing the hall. "I'm sure Nasdak will be here in a second."

 

"I want to see my grandchild, see if he is healthy."

 

Marcus understood. "I'm sure the boy's okay." He wanted to add more reassurances but thankfully Nasdak entered, carrying his son in his arms.

 

"Father, Marcus, may I present my son to you?"

 

Marcus tried to keep it together, but when the tiny hands and fingers reached for him, he lost all semblance of control. Staring at the little bundle, his heart contracted, reminded him that his son would have looked like this, if his child had lived. "Excuse me, I can't do this." Embarrassed, he fled the hall, running blindly into a corridor.

 

"Father?" Nasdak had expected some fierce reaction on Marcus' part, but not that intense.

 

Neroon looked at his grandson and offered the child his thumb. The baby grabbed it and cooed in pleasure. "Marcus overestimated himself. He has been trying to convince himself that he could do this, but..." Neroon sighed. "You have a precious child in your arms, Nasdak, always cherish him. How is Brid?"

 

"Resting, but I suspect she will be on her feet again tomorrow. There were no complications."

 

"I am glad to hear that." Neroon's glance drifted over to the doorway. He should go after Marcus, but the Ranger probably wanted a moment to compose himself. "Did you already decide on a name?"

 

"Zahar..."

 

"Ah, my father's name. A good choice," praised Neroon. "You have my blessing." Neroon studied the baby. "He has your eyes."

 

Nasdak smiled. "Brid made that same remark... Now go after him and stop being civil, father. I know you want to be with Marcus." Nasdak shooed his father out of the hall. "I will tell Brid you visited. Now go take care of Marcus."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "We probably won't be back."

 

"That is all right. I have your blessing. Come visit us when Marcus feels up to it."

 

"Now excuse me. I need to find Marcus." Neroon left the hall in search of his mate.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus had found a secluded place in the gardens and collapsed on a bench. His hands were shaking and his eyes filled with tears. He had lost it, had lost his tight reign over his emotions. He had felt edgy and nervous since they had left for Rathor, and he had feared something like this would happen. When he had seen the little baby, cooing and smiling it had been his undoing and he had run.

 

"Marcus?" Neroon sat down beside him, but didn't offer Marcus any physical comfort yet. Marcus had to take the initiative.

 

"I'm sorry," apologized Marcus. "I don't know what came over me."

 

"I think you know very well what happened. Seeing their son reminded you of the one you lost."

 

"I couldn't help wondering..." Marcus raised swimming eyes and met Neroon's. "What would it have been like if my son had lived? I would have held him in my arms like Nasdak held his son. I could have rocked him, held him, raised him and now... I have nothing..." He cringed. "I didn't mean that... I have you..."

 

Neroon slowly folded an arm around Marcus. "If you had the choice... Would you try again?"

 

Marcus frowned. "I don't understand."

 

"Would you try having another child? My child?"

 

Marcus sobbed softly, finally realizing what Neroon was hinting at. "I don't think I can. I can't go another pregnancy, knowing... knowing..."

 

"Knowing what?" Neroon gently rocked him, but never lost eye contact. Marcus was hiding something that really hurt him.

 

"That I don't have a say in the matter. According to the contract the child would be yours. If you ever got tired of me, I'd never see my child again..." Marcus wiped away his tears and tried to regain his composure. "It's stupid really."

 

Neroon seethed. The contract. It always returned to haunt him or Marcus. "Marcus, I had the text changed."

 

"Uh, what?" Confused, Marcus frowned.

 

"I forced Delenn to accept some changes. You are no longer the caste leader's mate, but mine. I could not bear the thought of ever losing you, or you having to submit to someone else in case I died."

 

"You did what?" Marcus trembled, the remaining tears drying on his face.

 

"And about the child... If we ever decide to have a child I want that section deleted from the contract." Neroon's passion made him talkative. "Marcus, are you seriously telling me you want a child? My child?"

 

"I was afraid to bring it up," confessed Marcus. "But yes. The pregnancy itself wasn't that bad. I didn't even suffer from morning sickness. If it hadn't been for Shakiri and Sallis I would have enjoyed being pregnant."

 

"Then we should discuss this with Valorum. I am fairly sure that creating an embryo with our DNA won't be a problem."

 

Marcus blinked. "Neroon, are you serious? You told me you already had an heir and that you felt too old to become a parent again."

 

"I am sure, Marcus. And yes, I do feel old, but I want to give you this. I have the feeling that you wanted a child since you started to feel secure in our relationship, a few months back. Am I right?"

 

"Yes, but..." Marcus shook his head. "I can't believe you want to have a child with me!" Then something Neroon had said registered. "Our DNA? You would let me contribute? I'd understand if you want to keep your blood line pure..."

 

Neroon cringed. "Your DNA will enrich it. I am not Shakiri. I do not feel like you would contaminate my blood line." Marcus pressed closer to him; it was getting cold. "Are you up to seeing Nasdak, Brid and the baby?"

 

"Honestly?" Marcus sought out Neroon's eyes.

 

"No." Neroon read the answer in the green eyes. He would suffer another breakdown. We will head home and talk to Valorum.

 

Marcus felt relieved when Neroon announced his decision to go home. "I'm truly sorry, Neroon. I screwed up again. I know how badly you wanted to see your grandson."

 

"I saw him, Marcus, and he is perfectly healthy." Neroon carefully chose his next words. "And our child will be healthy as well."

 

Marcus lowered his eyes and sighed. "Our son... I want that..."

 

I know you do and I will find a way to make it happen. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Marcus, Neroon, I am honored that you would visit an old man like me," said Valorum. "Please sit down." Something was troubling them, why else seek him out? Valorum offered them some tea and sipped his own. "How can I be of service?"

 

Neroon exchanged a glance with Marcus. They had agreed that he would do the talking. "We decided that the time is right to have a child."

 

Valorum chided himself for not seeing this coming. "A child?"

 

"Yes." Neroon caressed the skin of Marcus' hand. "We carefully thought everything over and reached the conclusion that we are ready to have a child."

 

Valorum didn't look too pleased. "Marcus, is this not too early? Only nine months have passed since you had a miscarriage. Maybe it would be wise to wait."

 

Marcus shook his head. "I want a second chance."

 

Valorum gave in. "You made up your mind..."

 

"Yes, we did. We want you to create the embryo from our DNA material and to supervise Marcus' pregnancy." Neroon smiled at Marcus. Yes, they were doing the right thing. Marcus was right; he deserved a second chance.

 

Valorum nearly choked on the tea he was sipping. "What? Neroon..."

 

"What is it?" Neroon leaned forward and tried to read Valorum's expression.

 

"Marcus cannot carry another child. The fall did too much damage and the trauma was extensive."

 

Marcus closed his eyes. "No..." No, this couldn't be happening. "This isn't fair."

 

"Marcus, the fall caused a lot of damage. You would suffer another miscarriage within the first two weeks of your pregnancy." Valorum hated being blunt, but Marcus had to understand. "I am sorry."

 

Marcus fought his tears and stared at Neroon's fingers, clasping his hand. "Then that's it. No more children." He would never hold his child in his arms. He'd had one chance and messed it up.

 

"No, wait." Neroon raised a hand, attracting Valorum's attention. "Are you absolutely sure Marcus cannot carry a child to term?"

 

"Yes." Valorum wished he had better news for them, but it was the truth. "It is impossible."

 

"Neroon, let it go. It's all right. I don't need..."

 

"No, you deserve that second chance." Neroon firmly held his lover's stare. "I will carry our child."

 

"You?" whispered Valorum and Marcus simultaneously.

 

"Why are you staring at me like that? I can carry a child." Neroon felt indignant that they doubted his words. "I would need to take leave of absence for two months, but Marcus can take my place, acting as my replacement. The caste will still have guidance... What?"

 

"Neroon, you can't be serious!" Marcus wasn't sure whether he should be crying or laughing. "You? Pregnant? Never!"

 

"I must concur with Marcus.." Valorum shook his head.

 

Neroon grabbed Marcus and forced the Ranger to take him serious. "Minbari males are perfectly capable of carrying a child full term. Why do you doubt I can do that as well?"

 

"Because you're caste leader, Neroon. You are a warrior!" Marcus gasped. "Shakiri told me that..." Suddenly he covered his mouth with his hand. No, he wasn't ever going to repeat that man's words.

 

"What?" Neroon glared at his lover. "What did the bastard say?"

 

"That... that..." Marcus bowed his head. "I can't say it."

 

Neroon relented. "You will tell me one day. Valorum, I want you to examine our DNA. I want the child to be human and Minbari!"

 

"A halfbreed?" Marcus shuddered. "Do you know how they will treat him?"

 

"Him? Valorum, I want a son." Marcus had given himself away. "And our son will be treated respectfully. Times are changing, Marcus."

 

Marcus stared at Neroon in disbelief. "I can't let you do this."

 

"Why not?" Neroon sighed. "Marcus, we want a child and you cannot deal with another pregnancy. Let me do this."

 

Marcus suddenly burst out in to tears. "I want this, but..."

 

"No more buts, Marcus. We will do this. We will have our son and love and raise him. Yes?" Neroon pleadingly looked at his mate.

 

"Yes..." whispered Marcus, brokenly. "Yes... I want that... I want a son and... I want you."

 

Neroon opened his arms and caught Marcus in them. "Valorum, you have your orders. Carry them out."

 

The healer nodded. "I will keep you informed of the results."

 

"Come with me, Marcus." Neroon pulled Marcus to his feet and guided him back to their quarters. "Do you want this? Really want this?"

 

"Yes, but it's not fair that you have to go through this!"

 

"Fair, life is not fair Marcus, and I can deal with the pregnancy..." Neroon held his lover close. "We will do this together."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Marcus had finally fallen asleep in his arms after tossing and turning for nearly an hour. Neroon cursed privately; he should have talked to Valorum in private first! He was comfortable with the idea of carrying their child, but he had seen the shock in Marcus' eyes when the Ranger had realized that he wouldn't be the one to carry their son. Marcus' world had collapsed until he had offered to take his place. He wouldn't forget the disbelief in those eyes as long as he lived.

 

But things could work out. Minbari didn't experience any discomfort for the first six months and only started to add weight in the last two months. He would have to hand over leadership of the caste to Marcus for two months and his lover needed training to take his place, but the caste would accept his mate as a temporary replacement. Barin and Uyi could assist Marcus during those two months.

 

Sighing, he remembered seeing his late wife through pregnancy. When Nasdak had been born, he had been there, holding her hand. And she had been in pain, but had refused any pain killers. He still missed her at times.

 

But I have Marcus now and I love him with all my heart. Tomorrow he would talk some more to Valorum and find out what would happen next.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"I studied your DNA and Marcus'," said Valorum, showing Neroon several DNA strands on screen. Minbari technology was very advanced and creating an embryo was standard procedure even if the mates were male and female. "You want the child to have Minbari and human features? Are you sure about that?"

 

"Yes." Neroon drew in a deep breath. Maybe he should have talked this over with Marcus first, but his mate was too emotional right now. "I want the child to have dark hair and green eyes, like Marcus has."

 

"That should be doable." Valorum studied the DNA strands. "Any more human characteristics?"

 

Neroon shook his head. "Can you show me a holographic representation of my son? I want to know what he will look like."

 

Valorum entered the necessary data. "Look."

 

Entranced, Neroon stared at the hologram of a young boy which dark hair and beneath it a bone crest. The eyes were open and feline, green eyes stared back at him. "He is perfect."

 

Valorum smiled, pleased. "I thought you would like him. Do you want Marcus to see him as well?"

 

"No," whispered Neroon. "If something happened to the child, knowing how he would have looked like would only add to his pain."

 

"Do you want me to do this now?" Valorum presented a syringe to Neroon. "I can inject this now and you will come in again in one month when I need to create a skin fold for the embryo to develop in."

 

Neroon raised his shirt. "Do it."

 

Valorum wanted to remind Neroon that Marcus had a right to be present, but seeing Neroon's expression, he didn't pressure him. Gently the needle slid beneath the skin of Neroon's abdomen. "It is done."

 

Neroon grinned. "I do not feel any different."

 

Valorum shook his head. "Of course not! It will take the embryo a month to settle down. Now go and tell Marcus the good news."

 

Neroon hurried back to his rooms and found Marcus in the bathroom taking a shower. He quickly shed his clothes and joined his lover.

 

"Neroon?" Marcus tried to identify the form in front of him, but he had gotten shampoo in his eyes and everything was blurry.

 

"Yes, it is I." Neroon rinsed Marcus' eyes and kissed him hard.

 

Neroon's passion surprised Marcus. During the last few months, their lovemaking had been tender and lazy and he sometimes wished Neroon would be a little more forceful. It was his little, private fantasy, but he had never confided in Neroon. "What are you doing?"

 

Hungrily, Neroon stared at him. "Yes?"

 

Marcus understood at once. "You want to make love? Here?" Tempting... "Yes." Neroon squeezed his buttocks and teased his cleft. "Oh, that's the way we're going to play it?" He chuckled. He was already hard and eager. "Oil?"

 

"I brought it with me." Neroon opened his hand and showed Marcus the flask. "I need you... I crave you..."

 

"You have me." Marcus quickly grabbed on to Neroon when the Minbari lifted him, sliding his back against the wall. He wrapped his arms around Neroon's neck, holding on. They hadn't made love in this position before and he wondered if if would make a difference.

 

Neroon quickly rubbed the oil on to his cock and positioned himself at his lover's entrance. "Wrap your legs around me."

 

Marcus obeyed and held on to Neroon for dear life. He bit the Minbari's shoulder hard when Neroon entered him. White pain/pleasure flashed through him and he threw back his head, uttering a helpless yelp. "Oh... Neroon!"

 

Neroon's hands cradled his lover's buttocks, kneading them and his thrusts grew hard and frantic. "I want all of you..."

 

Marcus felt dizzy as Neroon continued to brush his prostate. Making love had never been this intense! Neroon pushed him against the wall, offering him the support and he leaned against the tiles. Neroon's thrusts became faster and he yelped softly, coming hard.

 

Marcus' muscle contracted around him and usually it was enough to push him over the edge, but not this time. Going down on his knees, he gently laid Marcus on the floor and continued the erratic rhythm. Marcus' eyes had grown big and his lover mumbled incoherently. Finally, after burying himself to the hilt, he climaxed, grunting and biting Marcus.

 

Marcus stared at the ceiling, clinging to Neroon. His insides filled with his lover's come and Neroon remained hard. "Neroon, what?" What was causing Neroon's odd behavior?

 

Neroon grinned. "You are going to be a father in eight months, Marcus..."

 

Marcus was speechless. "Wha..."

 

"I am pregnant..." Neroon silenced him by claiming his lips. Still hard, he set up a gentle rhythm, manipulating Marcus' cock until the Ranger was hard again. "No more words," chided Neroon as Marcus tried to speak. "Let us cherish this moment... We are creating new life here..." While engaging Marcus' tongue in a duel, he thrust gently, stroking his lover's cock as well.

 

Marcus was boneless, spent and yet Neroon continued to make love to him. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sensations washing over him. Seconds became minutes and their lovemaking continued. Oh, he was going to be sore for the next few days, but he didn't mind. This was intense!

 

When they finally came, they came together. Spent, Neroon pulled out and rolled his lover on top of him. Hugging him close, he stared into big green eyes. "I love you and I will love our son."

 

"Oh, Neroon..." Marcus was lost for words. He kissed Neroon's lips and rested his head on the Minbari's chest. His hand moved to Neroon's abdomen and found the tiny wound the needle had left behind. "I can't believe you're doing this for me."

 

"For us, beloved, for us." Neroon tucked Marcus' head beneath his chin and imprinted this moment in time so it would stay with him forever.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 1

 

Marcus studied Neroon closely as the Minbari sat reading his reports. Although Neroon was officially pregnant, the Minbari acted 'normal'. Marcus vividly remembered his own panic when he had realized what Shakiri had done to him and for the first few weeks he had felt like the embryo was a hostile intruder, a parasite. Neroon however, paid his pregnancy hardly any attention. The Minbari didn't have morning sickness and seemed to function as always. Marcus felt a little disappointed and envious.

 

"What are you thinking of?" Neroon put down the reports and met his lover's gaze. Marcus had been strangely quiet these last few weeks and he felt a little worried that getting pregnant might have been the wrong thing to do. Maybe they should have waited.

 

"You seem so bloody at ease with the whole situation."

 

Neroon frowned. "Situation?"

 

"Being pregnant." Marcus shrugged apologetically. "I lived in a constant panic for the first four months. In the end I accepted my condition and even started to look forward to holding my son until I realized that Shakiri would never let me hold him."

 

Neroon rose from his chair and walked over to Marcus, joining his lover in front of the window. Standing behind Marcus, Neroon wrapped his arms around him. "I will never keep you away from our son."

 

"Can I ask you something?" Trembling, Marcus leaned against Neroon, craving the close contact.

 

"Anything," breathed Neroon. "What do you want to know?"

 

"I... You..." Marcus lost his courage before he managed to ask his question. Neroon had consulted Valorum on his own, making all the decisions and although he looked forward to having a son with Neroon, he also felt apprehensive. He tried again. "You told me that our son would have human and Minbari characteristics..."

 

"Ah, you want to know how he will look like?"

 

"Kind of..."

 

Neroon smiled against the dark locks. "He will have green eyes and dark hair... but my temper."

 

Marcus chuckled in spite of his nervousness. "Your temper? Valen help me!"

 

Neroon relaxed now that his mate felt more confident. "Our son will be born in seven months..." Minbari pregnancy generally lasted eight months, sometimes even shorter.

 

"When will you start to show?" Marcus turned around and placed his right hand on Neroon's abdomen. "I still can't believe you're having our child." Neroon's move had utterly shocked him. He just couldn't imagine Neroon, a proud warrior, being pregnant.

 

"Two more months... Valorum will give me hormone injections by then and I might act slightly out of character."

 

Marcus blinked. "In what way?"

 

Neroon hesitated. "I might become aggressive, or extremely aroused... It is unpredictable."

 

"Aggressive?" Marcus quickly lowered his eyes. He didn't want to think about that possibility.

 

"It can happen," admitted Neroon. "But there will always be guards near and I suspect Seel will keep a close eye on you. He still feels like he owes you."

 

"Neroon?" Marcus looked the Minbari in the eyes. "What will the next months be like? What must I expect?"

 

Neroon guided Marcus to a window seat and pulled the Ranger close to him, hugging him. "The hormones will upset my balance. Just be prepared for anything. The next two months will be the hardest. And then my hormones will settle down for the following three months. During the last two months I will add considerable weight and you will have to be very patient with me."

 

"I will always be patient with you," promised Marcus. "When can I feel him?" His fingers caressed Neroon's abdomen through the shirt.

 

"Another two, maybe three months. You are impatient, my dear."

 

"Can't help it." Marcus paled. "What if everything goes wrong? What if..." Unable to finish, he fought back tears. What if Neroon had a miscarriage? Would they survive the loss? Would their relationship hold or break in to pieces?

 

"No dark thoughts," decided Neroon. "You suffered horribly at Shakiri and Sallis' hands. Had they treated you right you would have been stronger and the child might have lived. His death was not your fault."

 

Marcus moaned softly. "Sometimes, at night when I wake up from a nightmare I blame myself for his death."

 

"You are not to blame, Marcus. Shakiri used you." Neroon gave Marcus a thoughtful look. "What we share is completely different. We have love, desire and passion. This child is welcome and you will spoil him rotten."

 

Marcus smiled through the tears that had fled his eyes. "Neroon..." He kissed the Minbari, hard and passionately.

 

Neroon nodded his head once. "Our son will be loved. He will be happy, do not ever doubt that."

 

"I love you, you cocky bastard..." teased Marcus. "We're going to have a child, a son..." He gently rubbed Neroon's abdomen. "You're giving me a second chance..."

 

Neroon smiled, saddened, and tucked Marcus' head beneath his chin. "You were hurt badly in the past, but from now on there will only be pleasure."

 

Marcus sighed, hearing those words. I was right when I told Delenn that Neroon's the other half of my soul...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 2

 

Marcus woke to an awful retching sound which emanated from the bathroom. Finding himself alone in bed, he quickly reached the right conclusion. It looked like morning sickness had taken hold of Neroon after all. He quickly lifted Legs and placed her on the mattress and then jumped out of bed, heading for the bathroom.

 

"Neroon?" Marcus cringed in sympathy, seeing Neroon bowed over the toilet, emptying his stomach. He vividly recalled spending the biggest part of his days like this for the first four months of his pregnancy.

 

He walked up to Neroon and gently rubbed the Minbari's back. "Is there anything I can do?"

 

Neroon shook his head, suffering an exhausting round of dry heaves. His stomach was empty, but the gagging reflexes remained.

 

"It'll pass eventually, Neroon. Just relax and try to breathe through it." Marcus felt helpless, wishing that he was the one having their child instead of Neroon. He wasn't sure the Minbari could deal with the unpleasantries that came with pregnancy.

 

"I am fine..." Neroon's voice was raw and he reached for some water to rinse his mouth. "Valen, do not let this happen every day."

 

Marcus cringed. "It might happen during the day as well, not just in the morning. You'd better eat light meals for the next days."

 

"How did you deal with it?" Neroon thoroughly rinsed his mouth.

 

Marcus shrugged. "I didn't have a choice. And I only threw up in the morning... I didn't get that much to eat and in the end they were using the feeding tube and kept me sedated."

 

Neroon sighed. "My discomfort is nothing compared to what you suffered." His insides revolted again and his eyes widened. "No... Not a second time."

 

Marcus had a hard time hiding his amusement. If Neroon thinks this is bad, he's in for a big surprise. "Are you all right?" He rubbed Neroon's back, wondering how the proud warrior would deal with having morning sickness every day. "You know, you should try to eat something."

 

"Eat?" Neroon shook his head. "No."

 

"You can't stop eating because you're nauseous. You have the baby to think of. If you eat breakfast I will give you a backrub tonight."

 

Neroon's eyes narrowed. "A long backrub?"

 

"Yes, a long backrub... and maybe a hot bath?"

 

Neroon cheered up. "Well, your hands are talented. I will try to eat, but I expect an exceptionally long backrub tonight."

 

"You got it, Neroon." Marcus discretely left the bathroom, giving Neroon some privacy to take his shower. Sitting down on the bed, he realized that his hands shook. My God, Neroon had no idea how lucky he was to be fussed over during his pregnancy. Shakiri and Sallis had beaten him daily and the verbal abuse had almost made him break. He jumped nervously when hands settled on his shoulders. Panting slightly, he looked over his shoulder, finding Neroon standing there, frowning at him.

 

"Did I do something wrong?"

 

"I didn't expect you... I thought you were taking a shower."

 

"I forgot to take some towels with me. Marcus, why did my touch scare you?"

 

Marcus closed his eyes. "I was remembering... Shakiri... and Sallis, they..."

 

Neroon opened his arms and hugged him close. "I know the memories are hard to defeat, but you have to look forward, to the future."

 

Marcus smiled. "I know that... Now go shower and we will have breakfast together. Jana and Rom want me to inspect the food supplies and there are some messages from Uyi and Barin that I have to answer... We can have dinner together if you want."

 

"I would like that." Neroon kissed Marcus and then retreated back in to the bathroom to gather his thoughts. Marcus' expression had been wild when he had jumped up. It had never been his intention to startle his lover. Damn Shakiri, damn Sallis! Feeling nauseous, his face contracted and he grabbed hold of the sink to steady himself. Would he feel this bad every morning for the next six months? He hoped not. Maybe he had underestimated this pregnancy.

 

He forced himself to step beneath the shower and once the water cascaded down his body, he began to feel better. Well, it would be a good idea to stop training for the next few months. He didn't want to accidentally hurt the child and he had to be more careful in general. If he suffered a miscarriage, Marcus might never recover from the shock.

 

After drying his skin, he slipped into his uniform. Hmm, clothes would become a problem as well. Maybe Rom could make him a new wardrobe. He would ask her later. Fully dressed, he marched in to their bedroom. Marcus still looked lost in his memories, but the eyes were clear, assuring him that his mate had control over his feelings. "Are you ready to go?"

 

Marcus nodded his head. He wasn't hungry at all, but he would eat, knowing how important it was that they both remained healthy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

No, this cannot be happening again! This is torture! Worse than what any enemy ever did to me! Neroon clutched the ceramic toilet bowl with his hands, throwing up last night's dinner. He had been relieved when he had been able to go to sleep without being sick, but now his stomach revolted again. Will every morning be like this? No...

 

Feeling miserable, he drank some water, then realized his mistake as it came straight back. Tears appeared in his eyes as dry heaves tormented his throat. Suddenly, gentle hands rubbed the back of his neck and a cool, wet towel was pressed against his brow. "Oh yes..." The wet coolness felt wonderful.

 

"I'm so sorry..." whispered Marcus, supporting Neroon as the Minbari threw up the rest of the water. "I should be the one suffering from morning sickness, not you. It was never supposed to be you."

 

Neroon leaned against the wall and raised his head. The urge to throw up was growing less and he stared at Marcus' draped eyes. "What?"

 

"I'm sorry I can't have this child... It seems so wrong for you to suffer through this." Marcus barely dared to meet Neroon's eyes. "I..."

 

"Marcus, listen to me!" Neroon clutched his lover's head, forcing him to meet his stare. "I chose to do this. You did not force me into this. I am facing unpleasant months, but I can deal with that, knowing we will have a son once those months have passed."

 

"But you were sick yesterday and now you're throwing up again. I know how exhausting that is and..."

 

Neroon realized that Marcus was close to tears. "You are looking after me. Valorum monitors me closely. Nothing bad will happen to me or the baby."

 

"I feel so helpless..." admitted Marcus. "I was pregnant, I know what you're going through and I can't do a bloody thing to make you feel better!"

 

"Marcus, do not do this to us." Neroon saw the hint of hysterics in Marcus' eyes. "You are my mate and you will see me through this. You are strong."

 

"I'm not... I'm weak..."

 

Oh Valen, he didn't have the energy to go through this right now. "Marcus, I need some water..." His throat hurt and talking was only making things worse.

 

"I'm such a bloody egoistic bastard..." Marcus immediately felt guilty for wallowing in self-pity when Neroon needed him. He filled a glass with water and placed it at Neroon's lips. "Sips only, take it slow or you'll throw up again."

 

Neroon followed Marcus' advice and sipped slowly. He was relieved when he managed to keep the water down. "Six months, Marcus. We can do this."

 

Marcus swallowed hard. I'll try to be strong for you.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 3

 

Valorum placed the tip of the needle against Neroon's skin, then pushed it beneath the skin. "During your pregnancy you need a mixture of hormones to help build the placenta and stimulate the fetus' development. I expect you to come in every five days for an injection."

 

Neroon nodded his head. "Understood." His gaze drifted over to Marcus, who sat frozen beside him, eyes locked on the syringe. "Will I act and feel differently now that you started the hormone injections?"

 

"Yes, your body will adapt to the alien substance and it might be a violent process. Every Minbari reacts differently." Valorum cleared his throat. "There might be an increased urge to have intercourse, or to avoid intercourse completely." Valorum shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know for sure how you will react, Neroon, but..." He paused to lock eyes with Neroon. "You might also become frustrated and aggressive. Should that happen, call for me at once. As a precaution, I would suggest that your guards stay close."

 

"Neroon mentioned this to me before," said Marcus. "Do you really think he would attack me?"

 

Valorum met Marcus' gaze. "The hormones can do strange things to Neroon. He won't be himself for a while. If he attacks you it will be because his system cannot deal with the hormones in his bloodstream at that particular moment. I am merely giving you a warning. I am not saying it will happen."

 

Neroon disliked seeing the worried expression in Marcus' eyes. "I will order Seel to stay close at all time. When he is resting one of his best men will take over."

 

Marcus averted his eyes. "We'll manage." But his words lacked conviction.

 

Neroon shook his head, indicating to Valorum not to probe deeper. They couldn't take away Marcus' insecurities now and would deal with them later. "Anything else?"

 

"The usual symptoms, Neroon. Food cravings, frequent urination, feeling tired. This will increase toward the end of your pregnancy."

 

Neroon caught Marcus' hand in his and rubbed the skin. "Five more months, Marcus. We are doing all right."

 

Marcus found the courage to meet Neroon's gaze. "I love you and I trust you."

 

"I am not Shakiri, always remember that." Neroon got to his feet, pulling Marcus along with him. Valorum had already run several tests on him and he and the fetus were healthy. "I will check in with you in five days, Valorum."

 

Valorum nodded once. He would monitor Neroon closely.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Late at night, Marcus woke, alone on the sleeping platform. He still felt thankful that Neroon had it permanently rigged. The Minbari's side of the platform was filled with pillows, enabling Neroon to sleep vertically, sitting up.

 

"Neroon? Are you in the bathroom?" Not getting a reply, Marcus pushed back the covers and got to his feet. What if Neroon had fainted and knocked his head in the process? He might be lying on the floor, unconscious. He had fainted himself due to malnutrition and exhaustion while he was Shakiri's prisoner. Neroon might have fainted without having had the chance to warn him!

 

"Neroon?" He hesitantly entered the bathroom, finding it empty. If Neroon wasn't here, where was he? It wasn't like Neroon to leave during the night without informing him of his destination. After sliding into a robe, Marcus stepped in to the corridor, finding Seel standing guard. The Minbari gave him a curious look. "Seel, do you know where I can find Neroon? Did you see him leave?"

 

Seel nodded once. "He is in the kitchen."

 

"The kitchen?" What was Neroon doing in the kitchen in the middle of the night? "Then I'll be heading there too." When he started to walk, Seel followed him. "I don't need a babysitter."

 

"Neroon feels differently. I have explicit orders to guard you at all times." Seel was determined not to fail again.

 

Resigned, Marcus gave in. Living with Neroon had taught him how useless it was to argue with a Minbari. They were quite pigheaded. Seel followed him and he tried to ignore the warrior. As he reached the kitchen, he signaled Seel to wait outside. He wasn't giving up his privacy completely. Seel obeyed and Marcus sneaked in to the kitchen.

 

Neroon stood at the kitchen counter. Next to him were empty plates, which had contained leftovers from dinner. Neroon was still eating and emitted soft, pleased noises whenever he put something into his mouth.

 

Marcus soundlessly approached Neroon and raised an eyebrow. "Fudge Drops? Neroon! They're sugar bombs!" Neroon had gone through great lengths to import these Earth sweets for him. "Are you binging?" Valorum had mentioned food cravings.

 

Neroon looked startled, trying to swallow the Fudge Drops in his mouth. “Wha..reyoudo..nghere?"

 

"It's impolite to speak with your mouth full," teased Marcus. "I can't believe you ate the whole package! That's two pounds of Fudge Drops. Neroon, you'll be throwing up all morning!"

 

Neroon wiped some melting fudge from his lips. Looking caught, he shrugged apologetically. "I could not stop myself. I never craved anything that badly before!"

 

Marcus smiled gently. "Neroon, you'd better stick to some healthier foods for the next few months." He grabbed a towel and removed the remaining fudge that had settled on Neroon's chin. "Now we're out of fudge."

 

"Tell Rom to buy more... Larger quantities." Neroon finally felt full. He had been eating for thirty minutes!

 

"Neroon..." Marcus' voice trailed off, wondering how sweet Neroon would taste right now.

 

"What?"

 

"What about a kiss?"

 

"You just want to lick the fudge from my lips..." But Neroon easily relented, kissing Marcus.

 

The Ranger moaned softly, encountering several tastes. "What the hell have you been eating?"

 

"Flarn, fudge... Nata... and something called Butterscotch? You really have an excellent taste concerning food items."

 

"You ate the Butterscotch as well? Bloody hell..." Marcus shook his head in disbelief. "I'd better tell Rom to stock up on sweets."

 

"Yes, you do that... Let us go back to bed, I feel tired..."

 

"Tired? With all that sugar in your blood?" Marcus leaned against his lover, pulling him toward the doorway. "You don't have to come down here at night. You can tell one of the servants to bring you something to eat."

 

Neroon noticed Seel in the corridor and nodded approvingly. Seel hadn't followed him when he had left the bedroom, but had stayed to guard Marcus. Seel had followed his instructions to the letter. "I did not think of that. I was hungry and the kitchen is close."

 

They had reached their rooms and Marcus closed the door behind them. "You'd better brush your teeth, Neroon..." The Minbari smelled of fudge and Butterscotch; it was unbelievable that he had managed to eat all that!

 

Neroon followed up on Marcus' advice and brushed his teeth. Five minutes later, he joined his lover on the sleeping platform. Marcus helped him to get comfortable, kneading and pushing the pillows in the desired position. "Did you have food cravings as well during your pregnancy?" He regretted his words the moment they left his lips. "I am sorry. I spoke without thinking first. You did not have the option to give in to any food cravings." He still remembered seeing Marcus hooked up to the feeding tube.

 

Marcus ignored any unpleasant memories that tried to get through to him. "I do know that I'm not envious of your food cravings, Neroon. This way you will add a pound a day! You'll add weight all right."

 

"Will you stop loving me when I am fat?" teased Neroon, while caressing his lover's face.

 

"I'll never stop loving you, Neroon." Marcus kissed the Minbari and settled down in the embrace, loving the feel of Neroon close to him. "Try to sleep, Neroon. You need the rest. Once morning sickness hits..."

 

"That is over," stated Neroon pleased. "I have not been sick for the last week."

 

Marcus smiled. "That's good news. You don't need morning sickness."

 

Neroon studied Marcus' relaxed eyes before tucking his lover's head beneath his chin, their favorite way of falling asleep. While listening to Marcus' breathing, which told him that his lover was falling asleep, he surrendered to oblivion as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 4 

 

Marcus felt sore. For the last week Neroon's sexual appetite had been insatiable. The Minbari woke him in the morning to make love and tried to gain his attention again before falling asleep again. That meant making love twice a day and he was always on the receiving end. Not that he usually minded, but he hard a hard time sitting these days and was using the ointment he had found in the bathroom when Valorum had decided to take precautions once it was obvious they were together again.

 

So far he had avoided addressing the issue, realizing Neroon wasn't his usual self and the hormone injections were altering the chemical balance in his brain. Four more months and then things would get back to normal or what passed for normal; they would have a baby by then. If nothing goes wrong...

 

But if Neroon wanted to make love to him again tonight, he wasn't sure he would give in to the Minbari. He loved Neroon, truly loved him, but his body was telling him to take a break.

 

"Good morning, Marcus." Valorum entered the study Neroon had assigned to Marcus and sat down in front of the desk, studying the Ranger. Marcus looked pale and exhausted and he grew worried about his charge. Neroon would be furious with him if he missed something important concerning Marcus' health. "You look tired today."

 

Marcus cringed. He didn't want to tell Valorum what was troubling him as he considered it a private matter, but Valorum was his physician and had ordered to confide in him when something upset him regarding Neroon's pregnancy. In the end, he decided to trust the healer. "You mentioned that the hormones might have side effects..."

 

"Yes?" Puzzled, Valorum tried to read the expression in Marcus' eyes. Was it embarrassment?

 

"Neroon, he..." Marcus blushed, feeling ill at ease. "He wants to have sex all the time."

 

Valorum smiled, knowingly. "Yes, that is one of the side effects I mentioned. Is it a problem?"

 

"It's becoming one..." Marcus shifted uncomfortably. "I... feel sore. Not even the ointment is taking away the sting anymore."

 

"I see." Valorum nodded his head. He should have seen this coming. "And did you tell Neroon that the act of love has become uncomfortable for you when you express your love in that particular way?"

 

"No, I feel too embarrassed to bring it up. He loves me and I love him and being together in that way is the best thing there is, but..."

 

"It is too much... I understand. Marcus, did you ever suggest to Neroon to express your feelings in other ways? Penetration is not necessary to reach orgasm."

 

Now Marcus blushed a fiery red. "I like it when he makes love to me in that way and... We never considered doing things differently."

 

Valorum leaned in closer. "Is that a half-truth? I believe that you did consider alternative ways to make love... But you never told Neroon."

 

Marcus felt busted. "True..."

 

"Then tell him. The hormones might cause Neroon's sexual drive to go overboard, but that does not mean you have to suffer because of it. Neroon would not want that in the first place. But he is not telepathic, so he does not know what you are thinking or feeling. Talk to him." Valorum got back to his feet. "I also talked to Neroon today. He is very happy right now and loves you with a passion, but you have to communicate your feelings to him."

 

Marcus nodded his head. "I'll try."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Neroon licked his lips, finding Marcus naked in the shower. He loved to make love beneath the warm water beams, gently kneading his tired muscles. He removed his clothes and joined Marcus in the bathroom. Even after all these years, he felt thankful for hiring the most expensive and creative architect on Minbar to design his home. The bathrooms were spectacular and the plants and small waterfalls always calmed him down.

 

He resisted the temptation to sneak up on his lover, knowing that Marcus still startled easily even though Shakiri had been gone for a year now. "Marcus?" He cleared his throat and watched Marcus quickly spin around. The Ranger seemed uncomfortable, finding him here. "Is something wrong?"

 

Marcus swallowed his reply and shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong. Everything is fine." Looking at Neroon's body, he found the Minbari painfully erect, already leaking pre-ejaculate. Bloody hell, I still feel sore... I can't go again, not yet!

 

Neroon advanced on his lover and wrapped his arms around him. "You look good enough to eat." Needing the close physical contact, he licked his lover's skin, kissing closed eyes in the process. Possessively, he rubbed against his mate, demonstrating his desire and eagerness to make love to him. "Oh, I want you... I have been thinking about you all day long. It was difficult to pay attention to boring speeches when all I could think about was you."

 

Marcus closed his eyes, hating the fact that he was going to disappoint Neroon, but he was simply too sore to make love right now. He tensed when the head of Neroon's eager cock teased his entrance. "No, stop..."

 

Neroon's eyes widened. "What?" Marcus had never denied him before!

 

"I can't... yet." Marcus trembled and took a step away from Neroon. "I'm sore! You took me twice each day for the last week! The discomfort's outweighing the pleasure... I'm sorry." Lowering his eyes, he stared at the water, running over his feet. "I want to, but..."

 

Neroon shook his head in disbelief. "Why did you not tell me the moment the discomfort started? I would never ask you to be with me when you are hurting!" He felt slightly betrayed that Marcus hadn't confided in him earlier. "Since when...?"

 

"This morning was bad... I didn't want to disappoint you and I love it when you take me, but... it burns and itches..."

 

"What about the ointment Valorum gave you?"

 

"It's not helping any more. I need some time... off." Marcus hesitantly met Neroon's eyes. "I know it's the hormones that cause you to make love to me all the time and I like being craved, but maybe... we should look in to... different ways... of making love." His tone became nearly inaudible, uttering that last word.

 

Neroon covered the distance between them and enfolded Marcus in his arms. His arousal had faded now that he had learned about his lover's discomfort. "You should have told me earlier..." He caressed his lover's moist skin, teasing a nipple in to hardness. "And yes, we should study other, new ways to express our love."

 

Marcus sighed, relieved. "You're not mad at me?"

 

"Mad at you?" Neroon's features changed, became thoughtful. "No, I am proud of you. You told me to back off and did not let me impose my will on you." Something Shakiri had done for eight months and Marcus hadn't had any means of defending himself. He hoped that Marcus had finally shed his fears and self-doubts, now that he was standing up to him. Equals at last. If it had not been for Shakiri's torture we would have reached this point earlier. He took Marcus' hand in his and rested it against his abdomen. "I love you."

 

Suddenly Marcus' eyes grew big and Neroon wondered what he had done wrong this time. "What?"

 

Marcus grinned brilliantly. "I can feel this little bulge..." His fingers gently rubbed Neroon's abdomen. "Is this where our baby's growing?"

 

"Yes." Neroon pressed Marcus' hand closer against his abdomen. "Another two months and he will be kicking."

 

Marcus' eyes filled with tears of joy. "Can I?"

 

"What?"

 

Marcus went down on his knees and pressed a passionate kiss on his lover's abdomen. "Hello, little one... I'm one of your daddies..."

 

Neroon's eyes grew hooded, hearing Marcus' words. Yes, they would be parents soon... "Marcus..." He pulled his lover back to his feet and grabbed the soap, washing his lover. Sex was the last thing on his mind right now. He wanted to hold and cherish his lover and assure him that everything was fine.

 

"Marcus, we still need a name for the child. I want you to choose one."

 

"Me?" Marcus was surprised. "I thought you wanted to give him a Minbari name."

 

"You choose the name," repeated Neroon. "I am sure you will pick a name worthy of our son." Leaning in closer, he gently kissed Marcus. They held each other close, sharing their love and affection for each other.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 5

 

 

"Neroon?" Marcus purred the name, hoping to convince Neroon to make love. These last months had been crazy. First Neroon had nearly chased him, wanting to make love to him until he had to tell the Minbari no, and now Neroon no longer seemed interested in him sexually.

 

Standing behind his lover, Marcus wrapped his arms around Neroon, resting his head on the Minbari's shoulder. "You studied those reports for hours now. It's time to take a break."

 

Neroon had been in his study for several hours, bent over reports and crystals. His right hand slid lower, until it rested against Neroon's abdomen. Neroon was adding weight each day and Valorum assured them that the baby was perfectly healthy. They would become parents in three months.

 

"You have to consider our baby, Neroon. Even if you don't need the rest, he does." Marcus still hadn't decided on a name. He was inclined to call their son William, but wasn't sure how Neroon would react to that. Maybe Neroon secretly hoped he would pick a Minbari name.

 

"Marcus, I need to concentrate. Take Legs for a walk, talk to Valorum or Jana, but leave me alone."

 

Marcus raised an eyebrow, but didn't back down. Neroon had been grumpy lately, but his tone had never before been this sharp. "Is everything all right? Is the pregnancy getting to you?" Marcus hissed in surprise when Neroon tightly grabbed his hand.

 

"I said, leave me." Neroon growled the words, not even looking up from his reports.

 

Suddenly putting some distance between them seemed a good idea to Marcus, but Neroon still had a tight hold on his hands. "Neroon..." The grip was starting to hurt. His breath caught when Neroon jumped to his feet, slamming him against the wall. His heart thundered when Neroon raised his hand to backhand him. Bloody hell, Valorum had warned them that Neroon could become aggressive in this stage of his pregnancy, but he had never thought Neroon would ever raise his hand against him!

 

"Get out of my sight!" Neroon's eyes burned with intensity. "I need to finish these reports."

 

Marcus was about to point out to Neroon that he couldn't leave as long as the Minbari held him in place, and tensed when Neroon grabbed his throat. Involuntarily he flashed back to Shakiri, beating him. No, this is Neroon. He doesn't know what he's doing or why he's acting like this. I've got to get through to him! Talk to him, damn it! But his mouth was dry and he could only stare at the raised hand, moving closer toward his face. He couldn't fight off Neroon, too scared he would hurt the child.

 

Just when he expected Neroon to backhand him, something or someone moved between them, pushing Neroon forcefully away from him.

 

"Alit Neroon, control yourself!" Seel opened his pike, just in case Neroon wouldn't react to his tone. "You attacked your mate!"

 

Neroon's eyes grew big, realizing what he had done, what he had been about to do. His arm dropped to his side and he stared at Marcus with a beaten expression in his eyes. His hands trembled and he quickly averted his eyes. He couldn't believe he had slammed Marcus against the wall, trying to backhand him. "I am truly sorry. That should never have happened."

 

Seel quickly contacted Valorum and told the healer what had happened, while keeping a close eye on Neroon.

 

"Marcus, I truly regret attacking you." His eyes filled with tears, hoping he hadn't done too much damage. Would Marcus now distrust him for the rest of his life? Had he become a monster like Shakiri in Marcus' eyes? Shakiri had attacked Marcus and so had he! "I lost control." It was a frightening admission. What if it happened again and this time Seel wasn't around to stop him? Maybe it was best that he moved to separate quarters, putting some distance between them.

 

Marcus straightened out his robes, needing the moment to compose himself. My God, for a moment he had been back in his deserted quarters, under Shakiri and Sallis' mercy. Seeking out Neroon's eyes, he saw the tears in them. Acting instinctively, he folded his arms around Neroon, holding him close. "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

 

Neroon swallowed hard, touched by the fact that Marcus still seemed to trust him, still wanted him close. "I do not know what came over me."

 

Marcus shushed him. "I know you didn't want to hurt me. You love me. It's because of this pregnancy, the hormones... Didn't Valorum give you a shot this morning?"

 

"Yes, and a larger dose than normal." Neroon met Marcus' eyes, immensely grateful to read unconditional love and trust in them. "I never wanted to hurt you."

 

"I'm fine, Neroon, no harm done. At least you didn't go for my poor ribs this time," teased Marcus, hoping to lift Neroon's spirits. Seeing the lurking tears in Neroon's dark eyes made him cringe. "It wasn't your fault." From the corner of his eye he noticed Valorum's arrival and listened as Seel informed the healer.

 

"Marcus? Neroon?" Valorum stepped up to them, scanning them with his eyes. "Seel told me what happened. Did you attack Marcus?"

 

"I lost my patience, and yes... I attacked him." Guilt was written all over Neroon's face. "I never meant to."

 

"Neroon, sit down." Valorum pulled up a chair and uncovered his scanners. "I just need to run one specific test..."

 

Neroon allowed the examination, but never took his eyes off of Marcus. "What did you find?"

 

"You are having a bad reaction to this morning's injection. I can remedy that." Valorum uncovered a syringe and injected a greenish fluid in to Neroon's vein. "That should take care of the imbalance. You were wise to call for me."

 

"Can this happen again?" If the answer was affirmative he was moving out. No way would he endanger Marcus' safety! Spending these last three months in seclusion would be a small price to pay for Marcus' safety!

 

"I do not think so. We caught the reaction and dealt with it." Valorum met Marcus' eyes. "But I suggest you keep Seel or another warrior close just in case."

 

Marcus nodded once. "I understand." He went down on his heels and waited for Neroon to look at him. "Don't feel guilty, Neroon. You couldn't help it."

 

"But what if it happens again? What if I succeed in hurting you?" Neroon's tone edged on panic.

 

"I won't let it happen. I know what to expect now... And why worry? Valorum restored your hormone balance. We'll get through this." Marcus tried to radiate confidence and calm. "Valorum, help me out here?"

 

"Your mate is right, Neroon. I will adjust the dose of hormones and this will never happen again."

 

"You heard Valorum. You trust him, don't you?" Marcus waited for Neroon to nod. "And I trust you... trust you with my life."

 

The raging hormone cocktails in his body finally overwhelmed Neroon and tears slithered down his face. "Valen, I hate being like this."

 

"Three more months, Neroon. We can do this." Reassuringly, he placed Neroon's hand on the warrior's abdomen and covered it with his own. "This is where our future lies, as a family, and I won't let any bloody hormones, or memories of Shakiri, take that away from us."

 

Valorum smiled and soundlessly crept away, trusting Seel to watch over the couple. They will be all right. In three months they will have a beautiful baby and they will see that everything was worth it.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Month 6

 

"You will temporary replace me as head of the Warrior Caste," announced Neroon. "You need to know what to expect, how to act." Neroon sat in one of the comfortable chairs on the balcony, mustering Marcus who was pacing in front of him. "I need to teach you."

 

"Neroon, I still think this is a bad idea." Marcus turned and walked up to Neroon, coming to a halt in front of the Minbari. He didn't worry about Neroon getting angry with him. Since Valorum had adapted the hormone composition, Neroon had been calm, never showing any aggressiveness again. Still, Seel was close, just in case. "I'm human, Neroon. I can't lead the Warrior Caste, no matter for how brief a time!"

 

Looking at Neroon's growing belly, he realized damn well that his lover had to rest. Leading the Warrior Caste was too stressful right now, and with the recent Raiders attacks Neroon would be placing himself in danger when going after the intruders. "Why can't Barin take your place? Or Uyi? You once told me she would make a good leader. Why me?"

 

"Because you are my official mate and race does not matter. Even if you were Drazi, my men would be honor bound to follow you." Neroon slowly rose from his chair, privately cursing the added weight. "Marcus, you are a Ranger and my mate, they will accept you." Neroon rested a hand on his lover's shoulder. "Trust me."

 

"I'll always trust you," admitted Marcus within a heartbeat, "but what if...?"

 

Neroon didn't need to be a telepath to understand that Marcus' thoughts were on Arisia. "You did not bring them death back then and you won't lead my men to disaster now. I will coach you, advise you, but you have to be available in case of an emergency, and considering the fact that the Raiders' attacks are growing increasingly bolder, you might need to put a stop to them."

 

Marcus sighed. "I still think this is a dumb idea."

 

"I know you do, my beloved, but I cannot lead them in my current condition and as a Ranger you should be able to handle a situation like this."

 

"I don't feel like a Ranger any more," confessed Marcus. "It's been over a year since I wore that uniform." He had been wearing the comfortable robes ever since.

 

"That is the first thing we need to discuss," said Neroon, "your clothing."

 

"My clothing? Do I have to dress up for them?" Marcus tried to smile, but his features contracted in to a grimace.

 

Neroon nodded his head in sympathy. "I know how you feel about wearing our uniform and I won't force you to wear one." After they had rescued Marcus from Shakiri, the Ranger had trembled when seeing a black uniform. "May I make a suggestion?" He proceeded after Marcus nodded once. "Wear the robes," started Neroon," it will show them that you are a bridge between the Rangers and the Warrior Caste. You might want to wear the necklace though, visible. It will convince them that you are loyal to me and the Star Riders. Once they have been around you for a while they will reach the only logical conclusion; that you are loyal to the entire caste."

 

Marcus knew it was useless to fight Neroon on this. Neroon was determined to put him in charge of the Warrior Caste for the time being. "What else do I need to know?"

 

"As caste leader, you must act as a supervisor. The clan leaders will direct their clans and you must make sure they are making no mistakes. If you find anything goes wrong, correct them. Do not try to do everything yourself, delegate."

 

"Delegate? All right, I think I can do that." Marcus forced himself to smile and placed his hand on Neroon's belly. "Bugger, he's kicking!"

 

"The little one has been moving about all morning," admitted Neroon. "And you still need to pick a name for him."

 

"I haven't decided yet." He had tried to lure Neroon in to mentioning suitable names for their son, but the Minbari had refused, telling him it was his task to pick a name. "And everything is going according to plan?"

 

"Yes, the baby is developing nicely. He will be born in two, maybe three, months. Valorum will tell us when he can perform surgery and bring our son in to this world."

 

Feeling nervous, Marcus wished time passed faster. "I can hardly wait."

 

Neroon smiled. "I feel the same way."

 

Their perfect moment in time was interrupted by Seel who had to deliver a message from Barin. "Alit Neroon? Marcus?"

 

"Yes?" answered Neroon and Marcus simultaneously, making them smile.

 

"The Raiders attacked again. This time they utterly destroyed a freighter carrying Q 40, which was heading to one of our colonies. Fifty Minbari, belonging to the Worker Caste, were killed."

 

Neroon growled. "By Valen! We have to stop them!" He turned toward Marcus. "The Trigati will take you to our fleet where the clan leaders will be waiting for you. Coordinate a possible attack. We need to deal with the Raiders."

 

Marcus swallowed hard now that Neroon was looking to him to stop the Raiders. Seeing the expression in Neroon's eyes, he knew he couldn't change his lover's mind. "You want me to take care of this?"

 

"Yes. Seel, get Marcus an escort and make sure he reaches the Trigati. Never leave him alone until he is back at my side. You are personally responsible for his safety."

 

"I understand, Alit." Seel nodded his head. "Please follow me, Marcus. The clan leaders are already awaiting your arrival."

 

Marcus suddenly realized that he had to say his goodbyes to Neroon. "I'll be back..."

 

"I know you will." Neroon kissed Marcus and searched the green eyes. "You can do this, always remember I have faith in you."

 

Marcus licked his lips. "Thanks, Neroon." The child couldn't hear him, but he had to speak the words for his own sake. He sat on his heels and whispered against Neroon's belly. "I love you, and I will be back... I promise." Marcus got to his feet again and claimed Neroon's lips one more time. "I love you..."

 

Neroon nodded once. "Do not keep them waiting. They need guidance." Neroon's heart contracted painfully when Marcus disappeared in to a corridor. He would keep in close contact with his mate and the clan leaders, but Marcus was basically on his own now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 7

 

Marcus followed Neroon's advice and slipped into some fresh dark robes. He wore the necklace proudly, literally feeling the stares directed at it. He tried to act politely and adapted some of Neroon's firmness when dealing with the warriors. Although he still feared running into Shakiri's guards, who now might be serving in the fleet, he managed to keep his nervousness under control.

 

Barin and Uyi greeted him when he boarded the Ingata. The Trigati would stay close, but the clan leaders had gathered on board of Branmer's war ship and he followed Barin and Uyi to the command center. Surprised, he realized they were updating him, feeding him confidential information.

 

"As far as we can tell the Raiders are using five large battle ships to surround and then board our ships. They struck yesterday again. Our ship was on route for Minbar, back from the outer rim, when the Raiders struck. They killed thirty Minbari, all Religious Caste." Barin's tone revealed his anger.

 

"Any survivors?" asked Marcus.

 

"No," replied Uyi. "They killed everyone onboard."

 

"Did someone register any of the attacks? Do we have footage?" Marcus saw their puzzled expressions and explained. "We need to study their tactics if we want to fight them successfully."

 

"I will look in to that matter," promised Uyi.

 

Marcus involuntarily sucked in his breath when they entered the command center. He had seen Minbari technology at work before, but it still astounded him. Suddenly, he stood at the center of the universe; stars, planets, nebulas and other ships surrounded him. It was a perfect replica of what was happening close to the Trigati. With a polite nod, he greeted Zoun, Weyr, and he smiled when meeting Nasdak's eyes. The young Minbari also looked uncomfortable at being there, which was understandable. Nasdak didn't have much battle experience yet. "The Raiders?"

 

Zoun whispered a command in Vik and the holographic display changed. "Uhm, interesting... Those are Narn battle cruisers... How many ships do we have at our disposal?"

 

Weyr replied, "Four war ships... I thought that would be enough to force them in to submission, but I might have underestimated them."

 

Marcus nodded once. "We need some back-up."

 

"We sighted two White Stars in the vicinity. Maybe they would be inclined to help?"

 

"That's an excellent idea, Barin." Marcus smiled. "Can we contact them?"

 

"Yes..." Uyi worked on establishing a connection. "You can speak now."

 

"White Star, this is Marcus Cole, requesting assistance against the Raiders."

 

"Marcus? This is Paul! What are you doing out here?"

 

"Paul..." Yes, they had trained together. "We need some back up. The Raiders just destroyed a Minbari ship, killing thirty members of the Religious Caste."

 

"Minbari? Marcus, where the hell are you? We aren't picking up any White Stars, except for Phil's and I'm in constant contact with him!"

 

"I'm with the Minbari." Marcus cringed, wondering if Paul would ever believe the truth. "Can you back us up?"

 

"Against the Raiders? Of course! Our mission is to destroy as many of their ships as we can!"

 

"Thanks, Paul..." Marcus studied the Raider's formation. "They aren't going to run..."

 

"I agree," said Zoun. "They want a confrontation."

 

"They don't know we got two White Stars as back up. They assume they only got to deal with the warships..." Marcus wished Neroon were here, but he didn't have the time to contact Neroon. "Suggestions?"

 

"We take the initiative away from them and attack first," said Barin. Uyi, Zoun and Weyr agreed. Nasdak wavered, inexperienced.

 

Marcus suddenly realized that they were looking to him to make the final decision. Me? I don't have that much battle experience either and I have no idea how to lead the Minbari in to battle! But he trusted Barin's judgment. "All right then, we attack!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

During the battle, Marcus limited his role to observing. All clan leaders directed their men, and only Nasdak showed some insecurity at times, but they were winning. They had already destroyed two ships of the Raiders and Marcus summoned the remaining ships to surrender. But the Raiders refused, determined to fight until the end.

 

Marcus had no other choice than to continue the battle. He ordered the White Stars to cover one of the war ships that had gotten too close to one of the Raiders' ships.

 

Barin nodded approvingly, grateful for the support, as his men stationed on that war ship.

 

The battle continued for long minutes, then the war ship blew the Raiders' ship in to tiny pieces. "Uyi, advise them to surrender," ordered Marcus, trying to save as many lives as possible. Not only the Raiders were suffering losses.

 

Uyi sent the message. "They accept."

 

"Barin, have our men board the Raiders' ship, place them under arrest and confine them to the cell block." Marcus sighed, relieved. Things had worked out after all. Neroon would be pleased.

 

Barin nodded once and Marcus left the command center. Seel was waiting for him with a huge grin on his face. Seel had witnessed their victory and felt proud of Marcus.

 

"I want to contact Neroon... And I need some privacy." Marcus rubbed his brow, hardly believing he had helped the Minbari gain this victory.

 

"Follow me..." Seel guided Marcus to some private quarters and established a connection with Neroon's residence. "I will wait outside," said Seel, eager to give Marcus some privacy.

 

Marcus waited for Seel to step outside and then opened the connection. His heart fluttered madly in his chest, seeing Neroon resting on their sleeping platform. His lover's belly was huge and the image brought a brilliant smile to his face. "Neroon?"

 

"I am awake," assured Neroon him from behind closed eyelids. "Your first victory. You did well."

 

Marcus felt a little disappointed. "You already know what happened? I wanted to tell you..." He sounded like a little child, but he had been looking forward to tell Neroon. "Can I come home now?"

 

"I think so." Neroon finally opened his eyes. "The Raiders won't attack again in the near future. Their losses are too great. Yes, come home..."

 

"Neroon?" Marcus frowned. The secretive smile on Neroon's lips spelled trouble. "What?"

 

"Valorum thinks our son is ready to be born. He wants to perform surgery once you get back."

 

Marcus cursed softly. "I'm already on my way. Tell Valorum to wait until I get there!" It was beyond him how Neroon could remain this mellow and relaxed.

 

"Then hurry back, my beloved..." Neroon closed his eyes again and patted Legs, who lay curled up next to him. "We are going to be parents."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Month 8

 

Marcus hurried to their rooms, eager to be reunited with Neroon. Once he reached the doorway, he softly opened the door, finding Neroon asleep. He stole inside, pulled up a chair and sat watching his lover. Careful not to wake Neroon, he placed his right hand on his lover's bulging belly. Valorum would perform surgery tonight. He could hardly believe that he would hold their son in his arms in a few hours. Saddened, he recalled the child he had lost due to Shakiri's abuse.

 

"You must have set a new record in getting here this quickly," teased Neroon. Although he had been asleep, Marcus' footfalls had woken him. He was a light sleeper and even asleep he was trained to pick up on someone's presence.

 

"You're awake!" Marcus leaned in closer and kissed Neroon. "I can't believe it's really happening."

 

Neroon took hold of Marcus' hand and placed it against his abdomen. "You can distinctly feel him moving about. He is ready."

 

Marcus grinned, feeling the movement beneath his hand. The baby was kicking all right. "I love you..."

 

Neroon opened his eyes. "I must admit that I will be relieved once my pregnancy is over."

 

"I understand..." Marcus stroked Neroon's in sweat covered brow. "You feel hot!"

 

"That is perfectly normal. It's a fever, indicating the child is ready to be born..."

 

Valorum entered the room and joined them. "The medical staff awaits you, Neroon."

 

"Remember, I want to be conscious when you perform the surgery!" Neroon glared at Valorum.

 

Valorum nodded once. "I will give you a local anesthetic."

 

Neroon struggled upright and swung his feet to the floor. Valorum had offered to get a stretcher from the medical facility so he wouldn't have to walk the distance, but Neroon had refused. Leaning heavily on Marcus, he slowly made his way to the medical facility.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marcus barely suppressed a moan when Neroon nearly crushed his fingers. The Minbari had a tight hold on his hand and probably had no idea how crushing his grip was. Valorum had administered the local anesthetic and was now in the process of performing a Caesarian section. "You can do this, Neroon. Just a little longer..."

 

Neroon's gaze met his and Marcus licked his lips. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

 

"Sweet talk... You owe me one long backrub!" Neroon stared at the IV's he was hooked up to. "How much longer?"

 

Valorum continued to concentrate on his task, ignoring Neroon's impatient question.

 

Marcus swallowed, nervously. "I can't ever thank you enough for doing this for us..."

 

Neroon growled. "You can show your gratitude later... in bed!"

 

Marcus laughed, relieving some of his tension. However, his breath caught when Valorum raised his hands, handing the baby to Jalai. "Why isn't he crying? Isn't a baby supposed to be crying?" Panicking, he tried to catch a glimpse of his son. Jalai cleaned the baby's airways, held him upside down and the baby suddenly admitted a loud wail.

 

Neroon sighed. "Is he healthy?"

 

Jalai cleaned the tiny body and wrapped the baby in a warm blanket. "You have a healthy son." He showed Neroon his son and wanted to place the baby in Neroon's arms, but Neroon shook his head, seeing the rapture in Marcus' eyes. "Hand him to my mate."

 

Marcus' eyes grew big, holding his son in his arms. "He already has some dark hair..." Then the baby opened his eyes and big green eyes stared back at him. "Oh..."

 

Valorum stepped back after closing Neroon's abdomen. "You need to rest for a few days, Neroon." Doubtlessly, Neroon would be back on his feet within the week.

 

Marcus couldn't help himself and counted the baby's fingers and toes. "Ten...ten toes and ten little fingers..."

 

Neroon watched them and realized he had made the right decision eight months ago.

 

"Here, meet your son, Neroon." Feeling guilty for completely focusing on their child and forgetting about Neroon, Marcus placed their son in Neroon's arms.

 

"He will be a strong warrior," mumbled Neroon approvingly.

 

Marcus grinned. "A warrior, huh?"

 

Neroon returned the smile. "The child needs a name, Marcus." He still wondered why Marcus was this reluctant to reveal his chosen name.

 

"I was thinking about William..."

 

Neroon recognized the name. "Your brother's name was William..."

 

"Yes, but if you mind we can pick another name..." Marcus wasn't really paying attention, completely focused on the baby, whose eyes had closed. Tiny fingers were wrapped around his thumb, holding on to him. "He's perfect."

 

Neroon smiled, fatigued. "I like William..."

 

"You do?" Marcus' head jerked back in surprise.

 

"Yes."

 

Neroon patted the space next to him and Marcus understood at once. The platform was big enough for them both and Marcus lay down beside his lover, cradling their baby in his arms. "He's a miracle," whispered Marcus.

 

"Our miracle," confirmed Neroon, holding them both. Although surgery had weakened him, he had felt worse. "My private miracle, my mate and our son..."

 

Marcus smiled against Neroon's chest. "The other half of my soul..." Holding William close, he looked up at Neroon and pressed his lips on his lover's. Life had given him everything he had ever craved and he would cherish Neroon and William for the rest of his life. They were his life...

 

 

The End

June 2002


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